As the couple ran off into the night, Marwan and his cronies arrived at the campsite. How did he get there so quickly? I mean, he was in the Los Angeles area about half an hour ago. I know the show takes liberties with travel time, but the Mojave Desert is more than a thirty minute drive! Anyway, Marwan knew something was up when the football transponder suddenly died. While he investigated, Jack called Jason and told him to flee to a nearby power station. He gave very specific instructions and directions, and I half expected him to add at the end "Oh, and if you're a terrorist listening in, just disregard this message." Amazingly, the terrorists weren't listening in, but no matter. Habib had a map of the area, and it didn't take long for him to figure out where the football was headed.

Jason and Kelly eventually reached the old power station which even had a creepy old porch light swaying in the breeze. If there was ever a time for 24 to turn into a zombie movie, this was it. Terrorists on the outside, zombies on the inside -- how will Jason and Kelly escape???

Sadly, my zombie prediction never came true, but the power station did serve as an enjoyably suspenseful backdrop for some terrorist stalking. We even had a small startle as Kelly hesitated before going down a hallway, asking "What if it's a dead end?" The answer to her question came in the form of a loud BANG as a henchman shot at her head (he missed). While the lovebirds ran from the scary men (so much for spending the night making a baby), Jack's helicopter deposited him outside the building with a nameless man serving as his backup. Hmmm? How long till this chump dies? If you said "two seconds", you'd be right. Yes, instead of disabling the terrorists vehicles (come on, it was even my first reaction when he got off the helicopter, and I'm no superagent), Jack decided to simply infiltrate the power station. Unfortunately, a gunman opened fire on him and yup, Jack's buddy went down in a heartbeat.

Seeing that the situation was much more dangerous than previously expected, Jack called Jason and told him to open up the football. Inside was a control board and a playbook. Neither would work without the other. Jack instructed Jason to take the playbook and separate from his wife. Of course, this led to valuable time being wasted as the couple resisted, then relented, then kissed, and then cried. Hurry up, YOU IDIOTS! Honestly, at this point, the terrorists could have killed this Jason jerk. I really didn't care. He was really annoying me.

Outside, we were privy to a very special MacGyver moment as Jack thought of a way to escape the gunman's line of fire. Jack found an old paint can, emptied some bullets from his dead partner's gun into it, added some dry grass, and then lit the whole thing on fire. While this can of goodies slowly burned, Jack opened fire on the gunman, and as the bad guy battled back with his own firepower, the MacGyver can suddenly went ablaze, setting off the bullets inside. It provided the perfect gunfire decoy for Jack as he quietly slipped around to the side and killed the henchman from below. Very clever. Very clever. But until Jack rocks a mullet or can stop a sulfuric acid leak with a Hershey's bar, he'll never be able to top one Angus MacGyver.

Back in the power station, Jason was soon apprehended by Marwan who quickly found the playbook as well. The cue-ball terrorist demanded to know where the control board was, but Jason remained tightlipped, ultimately taking a bullet on the shoulder for his defiance. Excellent! Watching from nearby though was Kelly who seemed pained by her husband's torture. Not knowing what to do, she called up Jack's cell which rang loudly. What part of covert operation don't you understand, JACK? Put your damn phone on VIBRATE! If he were in a movie theater, I'd turn around and glare passive aggressively at him.

Kelly wasn't being so quiet either. She seemed to be practically yelling over the phone, even though she was supposed hiding from the terrorists. Sadly, she turned out to be as dumb as she was horny as she shunned Jack's advice and revealed herself to the bad guys. She said she'd offer up the control board if the terrorists would let them live. Yes, because negotiating with terrorists always works out so well. You'd think she'd know better, especially after Marwan fired his gun a second time at Jason, this time striking his leg. But no. Kelly freely relinquished the control board, and unsurprisingly, after having what he needed, Marwan ordered the happy couple to be terminated. Luckily for them (but not for humankind), Jack managed to save the day by offing the terrorist executioner. However, because he had been too shortsighted to disable the jeeps, the other terrorists zipped away.

Hey, remember that helicopter that Jack arrived in? Well, apparently it was just hanging out in the underbrush. As the terrorists drove away, Jack ordered the helicopter to take out the lead jeep, which he had seen the football in. Amazingly, CTU proved to be competent in this task, and as Jack ran over to the car wreck, I became convinced that the football wouldn't be there. Well, it was. So then I became convinced that it was just a decoy. But it was the real thing. Hmmm... That's not right. It's never this easy.

Well, as Jack inspected the football's contents, he discovered that chapter three of the playbook was missing. Dammit! I just finished chapter two! It was a really good book too! Oh well. I guess I might as well read the Da Vinci Code now.

Posted by B-side on April 12, 2005 1:45 AM