Meanwhile, Tony and Michelle are taking in the president's latest instructions. Palmer, the genius that he is, suggested that the Iowa National Guard help in locating the missing warhead. Wow! Use the military. Too bad nobody thought of that when they were, uh, TRANSPORTING THE WARHEAD. And speaking of the warhead, it turns out that it was an S-series, one of the most powerful around. Knowing that, Michelle was very happy that the National Guard would be helping the local authorities - all together now - "Set up a perimeter!". I never would have guessed! In a moment of sheer brilliance Tony wonders if it might be too easy for somebody to slip through the perimeter. If CTU was trying to catch Harrison Ford in The Fugitive they would have to have made another three or four movies at least.

In the middle of all of this, Tony gets a phone call. Michelle answers (Edgar Stiles must be a fan of the courtesy flush), and it's Jen, and she introduces herself as "The woman who's been living with [Tony]". Since this is the first time she is hearing it, Michelle is a little bit stunned - a couple of hundred situps a day and Tony would be quite the catch again. Jen simply called to say that she was worried (uh, no cellphone Tony?), and wants to know why his ex-wife is there. The roofies Jen put in Tony's vodka must have been wearing off, because Tony suddenly realizes that Jen is kind of dirty and really annoying. He hangs up abruptly, but Michelle is upset. In another very tender 24 moment, Tony says that he never loved Jen. Oh really? We thought you moved to Valley Glen for the schools and to build a family. We never thought that you were washed up and shacked up with the first woman who enjoyed the whiskey aftertaste when you blow your load.

The show is only twenty minutes in, but I am wondering something myself. For instance, what in the hell was taking Chloe so long on her way back?. It took her about 2 minutes to get to wherever she went, but it was taking her ten times as long to get back. You can just never trust that Hollywood Freeway. When Choe does finally get back, nobody is more excited to see her than Edgar. He doesn't know what it is, but he gets a happy feeling in his pants when Chloe is around, and wants to tell her how he feels. It might have been great to see Edgar and Chloe have yet another tender moment, and tell each other how much they care about each other, but instead they spend the next few minutes discussing how much Chloe might be traumatized after having to kill that guy. Don't you really want to see them play a little "seven minutes in heaven" and lock them up in a supply closet for a while?

So the CTU team is back at full strength, but it looks like it won't matter. Jack and Curtis were dispatched to the consulate in order to handle the transfer of Lee, but the consulate is saying the premiere of China has yet to make a decision, but he should have good news in two or three hours. Apparently, it is concubine week, and he has to try to have a son with six or seven poor farm girls. Considering Marwan wanted to drop the bomb before sunrise on the east coast, that is a couple of hours two long for comfort. President Palmer goes over his choices and calls Jack with the plan. The only way to get Lee would be to go in and extract him, which would be like declaring war on the entire People's Republic. To limit the exposure to the United States government, the whole operation would have to be done off the record. If Jack was captured, the president would deny his existence and he would be tried in the Chinese legal system.

Jack takes a moment to soak it all in, but he's got Curtis on his side, so why not just go in and give it a try? He leaves Curtis outside to take care of any trouble and prepare the getaway. Jack then puts his ski-mask on and goes all stealth into the Chinese Consulate. I guess it's hard for other countries to find good security because Jack is able to sneak in. In honor of going into China, the producers turn Jack into a ninja, and the music sounds like it is straight out of Crouching Tiger.

Aiding Jack getting to Lee is Tony, the only person Jack can trust at CTU (Chloe has had enough excitement for a little while). He lets Tony know that he will need infrared imaging to help him track bodies through the building. Tony agrees to help, but I don't think he quite understood when Jack requested absolute secrecy. Well sure, he took measures to prevent people from tracking things on his console, but doesn't it sort of defeat the purpose when you do the tracking on the huge 42" plasma screen that is hanging over your desk? It has all the subtlety of Jenna Jamieson shopping for a strap-on. He is able to keep everything a secret, but that doesn't mean that people aren't happy when they find out after the fact. Buchanan is pissed he wasn't told about the mission and did the "You don't work for Jack! You work for me!" routine. I liked Buchanan when he was for torture, but now he is all pissy about "need to know" details. Even Chappelle was less of a control freak than this guy.

Posted by J-Unit on May 3, 2005 1:38 AM