With Friends Like These, Who Needs Terrorists? - 
by J-Unit
Although Jack and Audrey didn't work together to prevent the nerve gas from going off in the mall, they were on the same wavelength and this is making Lynn very suspicious. He thought that Audrey was too close to Jack and they were trying to go around his authority to get things done. That wasn't technically true until Audrey received a call from none other than James Nathanson himself. Speaking of Audrey, did anybody else think that she made a trip to the salon to get her highlights done? Perhaps stepped into the bathroom with some Clairol looking to touch up her color? I have seen only a handful of people pee or eat in five seasons, and yet she is looking as fresh as ever.
The CTU Salon: Bold Color for Bold Personalities
So, Nathanson wanted to be transferred to Jack's cell phone. Nathanson needed to talk to him, and he didn't want anybody else to know it, including others at CTU. Considering Jack is sort of under custody, this is all going to be very interesting, don't you think? Audrey puts the call in to Jack, and Curtis lets the two have a few minutes to themselves and lets Jack leave the car. If there was any doubt as to whether some serious shit was going to go down, Jack was once again wearing the Aviator Glasses of Badness. Yes! I don't know if those things hold the key to his mojo, but whenever he wears them, you know people are going to die. Either that, or he'll fake his death and disappear along the train tracks, but I'm going with people dying for this episode. Nathanson tells Audrey to hang up and that he has a device on his phone that detects when people have tapped the line, so don't try any funny business. He tells Jack that he wants protection. Walt Cummings wasn't the only person in the government who was in on this plan, and they are out to get him. He tells Jack to meet him near a pay phone. Now all Jack has to do is get rid of Curtis.
This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you
It may have been possible for Jack to reason with Curtis, but Jack didn't want to take that chance. Does anybody think that perhaps Curtis did some sensitivity training since the last season? He did punch that girl in the face - I mean, it was Mandy, but if the folks at Division were looking at the replay, you can see how some of them might not have jumped out of their couches and clapped like most of us when it happened. As Curtis is driving back to CTU, he starts talking to Jack about how tough it must be for him and Audrey. They were so close, he faked his death, they thought they would never see each other again, now they're kind of back. Curtis hopes that it will all work out, and his nice words must have made it really hard for Jack to box his ear and then put him in a sleeper hold. But what was Jack going to do? He has to meet Nathanson and Lynn McGill was already so paranoid about his authority that Jack could never get this sanctioned from CTU.
After Curtis woke up, he was pissed! He calls Lynn, and says that Jack got the jump on him. Curtis couldn't believe that he let Jack surprise him and this is just further evidence for Lynn that people inside CTU are trying to get around his authority, and so he starts to watch Audrey more closely. He asks Audrey if she has received any calls from Jack since he was in custody, and although she says no, she knows that he only needs to check the call logs to see that she was lying. Audrey calls Chloe to see if she can get that specific call erased, knowing how much Chloe likes Jack, but Chloe says that they would have to erase Audrey's entire log. Chloe manages to do this, but it happens while Lynn is actually in the process of checking the log, so it is erased from his screen in front of his face. Now he KNOWS that something is going on.
If there is anybody that seems to be at ease, it is President Logan. Well, he's not really at ease, but you can tell he is enjoying himself listening to all of the networks gush about how great the treaty he signed with the Russians is going to be. You knew it wouldn't last for long however, and Logan gets a call from Bierko himself. Bierko, polite British guy that he is, says that he was sorry about the attack in the mall, because it didn't help his interest. He only wanted to release the nerve gas on Moscow, because he wants to hurt the Russian oppressors who have been forcing his people to drink that Bolshevik tea. What else could Bierko and his comrades do except form a resistance and kill millions of people so they can get their Earl Grey? Since he can't get the homeland, Bierko is going to have to hit Mother Russia on American soil. Bierko will forget about the canisters as long as the president gives him information on Suvarov's motorcade, so they can strike it. Uh oh, you can already see President Pussy's knees turn to jelly.
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