Talk About Bad Gas... - 
by B-side
Somebody get CTU some alka-seltzer. This place has the worst case of gas I've seen in years. Yes, it was another hour of the Sentox Circus that we commonly know as 24, and if you thought the death count ended with the thud of Edgar's doughy body, then you were wrong. As long as that pesky nerve gas is floating around, there are casualties to be had, and this week we had two, maybe three. But probably two. And before you even ask, the answer is no, Barry was not slain. So much injustice in the universe of 24.
The big show opened up with an extended "Previously on..." recap, and deservedly so. Last week's double-dose was truly amazing -- the sort of rollercoaster ride that has you clutching a pillow one minute and reaching for some tissues the next. I haven't yet quite forgiven the producers for offing sweet (or "thweet") Edgar -- heck, I'm still smarting from Sherry Palmer's bullet-ridden demise in season three -- but in the world of 24, an untimely death is almost like the greatest tribute a character can have. And so Edgar joins the legends of Bauer Land. May he rest in peace, preferably with a box of Krispy Kremes by his side.
Anyway, we knew there'd be some shenanigans this week when Vice President Hal (a.k.a. the same bastard who killed Laura Palmer) received his own title card in the opening recap. With Walt Cummings also dead and gone, the Prez needed some new, evil influence on his decisions, and when all else fails, why not cart in the hawkish Veep? It worked in season two, right?
Nevertheless, this episode was not about Hal and his sudden rise to relevance. It was about CTU. Basically, nerve gas had been released in the building, and the only safe zones were the Situation Room, the medical clinic (which, by the way, has NEVER been a safe place for anyone), Bill Buchanan's office, and, randomly enough, holding room 4 -- conveniently the location of our favorite hobbit, Lynn McGill. In case you forgot all this, don't worry. A random guy on a loudspeaker boomed through building and informed everyone about the situation. I half expected to hear him cough up a lung and die right there over the PA system, but apparently, his little broadcasting booth was the fifth, unmentioned safe zone. By the way, let's give a little round of applause to the first ever use of the CTU PA system. The building's seen a lot of chaos and tough times, and never has it been put to use -- not even during last week's Code 6 Evacuation. But tonight, they finally decided to break it in. Too bad that little safe zone announcement came after everyone had died.
Anyway, as Chloe all but curled up in a fetal position in the corner, Bill Buchanan (who was trapped up in his office) announced that he could still coordinate with Division. Cool! But what about gas masks? Do we have any of those? Well, the good news was that there were gas masks for everyone. The bad news: they were in the contaminated areas. Doh! Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but maybe next time, they should put the masks inside the safe zones.
After more frantic "What are we gonna do?" patter, we then cut to a shot of Edgar's body. Poor Edgar. He had foam coming out of the mouth, a glassy look in his eyes. He was either dead or dreaming about tuna melts. Let's just say, the man can salivate. Back in the Situation Room, Jack had -- you guessed it -- a situation. He needed Chloe to help, but oops, she was in total shock, unable to even utter one sarcastic sneer. Around this time, I started to feel knots in my stomach that Kim might reinstate herself on the CTU staff, but luckily no such silliness occurred. Yet.
Meanwhile, Kim's new boyfriend/psychologist/bearded menace thought that maybe he could help Chloe. After all, he was a professional. I was sort of hoping the scene would then turn into a modified take on that famous bit from Airplane where the stewardess slaps the hysterical woman, but instead, Barry's brand of therapy was the touchy-feely kind. You know, the type that has no business making its way onto 24. I wonder if Barry's gonna try to sleep with Chloe now.
Anyway, Chloe let down her guard for about two seconds, long enough to eulogize, "He was such a good guy. I just treated him like crap all day." Lesson to America: that pudgy guy at the office that you always scoff at but secretly have a crush on -- give him a hug. Because you never know when he might foam at the mouth and keel over.
Over in holding cell four, Lynn and a random guard named Harry paced around nervously. "This is my fault," Lynn said. Damn straight it is, douchebag! You have Edgar's cholesterol saturated blood on your hands! Neverthless, Lynn had tones of remorse and regret in his voice. He sounded like a man who wanted to right the wrongs in his life. A man that would make the ultimate sacrifice!!! The same sort of ultimate sacrifice that Fox had been talking up all week. Hmmm... But until then, he had to deal with a testy Harry who just could not believe that Lynn had lost his keycard.
"How could you not report it?" Harry asked bitterly. "We're all going to die because you were embarrassed." Wow, lots of sass coming from one of the CTU "red" guards. Normally, those guys are only around to nod at Curtis and be punched/kicked/shot by various bad guys and Jack.
If Bill Pullman and Alec Baldwin had a love child...
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