The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Shooting - 
by J-Unit
Jack and Wayne left Evelyn in the hotel room with a couple of bullet holes in her leg, but with her daughter Amy to look after her. They made their way to the house of manager of the bank with the safety deposit box where Evelyn had stored the evidence. Unfortunately, Wayne is no Curtis. When they got to the house, he started thinking like a politician and suggested that they just tell the bank manager the truth. I thought Jack was going to explode. The truth? The TRUTH? The bank manager can't handle the truth! We need full compliance! It's times like these where I wish that CTU were a soap opera. I can see it now.
Wayne "Jack, we need to tell him the truth. Think of it as opening a socket to his soul."
Jack "Wayne, there is no time. The protocol says I open a VPN to his heart, but what does the protocol do when lives are on the line? Will the protocol bring your brother back?!"
Wayne "OK, fine, and I'm sleeping with your sister"
Jack "She's a slut. Let's do this!"
Don't even tell me that you wouldn't watch, that is some great shit. Anyway, they break into the house, but the bank manager is no idiot. He isn't the manager of that Credit Union in Aguora Hills because he is a chump. He is lying in bed with his wife, about to give her another 5 to 10 minutes of pleasure, when he hears a noise. He gets out of bed to investigate, but Jack is there to stop him. Jack lets him know that he needs to get into his bank. He has Wayne tie his wife up with some neckties, which is probably the most excitement she has had in years, and they head off to Agoura Hills.
"Honey, has the Cialis kicked in yet? I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning. Let's get this over with and we can talk next month."
Meanwhile, Audrey has been able to reach her father. When she says that Jack is going to have evidence, he sounds really testy. I mean, he has his own private jet, it's hours before he lands, what else is he doing that he can't take a phone call from his daughter? Jack did save his life not too long ago, so this small favor shouldn't be a big deal. Besides, if his son is still living in West Hollywood, maybe he'll stop by and see him as well. The closest airport is in Van Nuys, and it's only about an hour until they can land, so Heller agrees to meet Audrey.
Now, I know what you were thinking. If Audrey goes to the airport, those homeland security goons might follow her, right? Not so fast there. Remember, Audrey has Chloe on her side. When Audrey stopped for gas, Chloe instructed her on how to use a CTU walkie-talkie to search for any bugs. Audrey found the transponder, attached it to another car, and was able to leave undetected. She didn't go unnoticed, however. Did anybody else think Audrey's coat was quite fetching? I know she enjoys the CTU salon every now and then, but who knew that CTU had a Saks Fifth Avenue that was open all night? Man if they get that new CPK and Tower Records, I would work there myself. I might bring my own gas mask and staple my key card to my chest, but it wouldn't be all that bad.
New from Dior: Intrigue overcoats for the Government Bureaucrat who needs to go from conference to club in one fabulous evening.
Besides this little problem with Jack, things are winding down for Logan. He has another press conference scheduled and is giving a great performance; good enough that people actually believe he is doing a great job. He has the first lady fooled, who is practically having an orgasm listening to him talk tough about terrorists. One person who isn't fooled is Aaron Pierce. Ever since he met up with Wayne, things haven't seemed the same, and Aaron calls Jack to let him know that there is now a warrant for his arrest.
Since Jack was already racing around breaking curfew, another warrant wasn't going to do much damage. He makes it to the bank along with the bank manager and Wayne. The three of them go inside and open the vault. It's a timed lock, so they have to wait a few minutes, and while that is happening Wayne tries to explain to the bank manager why they are there. The bank manager recognized Wayne's face, and although he didn't mention anything about the President, Wayne was happy to open that socket to the bank manager's soul. After a few minutes, they go inside the vault and sure enough, there is the recording of Henderson and Logan, talking about the recent assassination of the President Palmer.
Wow! That was so easy! Now all they have to do is make their way to the Van Nuys airport to meet Secretary Heller and the job is done! Actually, if things were that easy, I probably wouldn't watch the show. There are complications, like the whole Evelyn thing. Now I know that they couldn't take her to a hospital because Henderson has all of the channels under surveillance, but if I have learned anything from other action movies, it's that you can always take a sick person to the vet for human injuries. If the vet is an ex-alcoholic, even better. Instead, Jack thought it would be a good idea to leave Evelyn alone with only her daughter to watch after her.
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