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8th and Ocean

June 30, 2006

Cup, The Mighty Booty...

Thanks to an alert reader from JP Morgan, we've learned that two of 8th and Ocean's least-popular models not named Kelly or Sabrina managed to land themselves gigs as "New Faces" in the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog. That means after just one season on a mid-rated MTV show they're now just a half-step away from soft-porn. Yay MTV!

Pics after the jump...

Continue reading "8th and Ocean: Cup, The Mighty Booty..." »

May 10, 2006

Can You See Me Now? Bitch.

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"I hate you." "I hate you more."
I can't believe season one of 8th and Ocean is over after just ten episodes. Why only ten? Because The Man would never give models a full 22. Of course, in model time, ten weeks is at least three years, so overall the show had a pretty nice run. It's just too bad that by the time next season rolls around, at least half the cast will look older than David Bowie's character in The Hunger. (Although that's still decades younger than Irene Marie.) Oh well, at least the season ended with some great twin-on-twin action. Not to mention an exciting new roommate for the girls. (And this one's not even battery-powered.)

Tonight's episode starts off with the girls talking about whether or not they've ever had to kiss someone as part of a shoot before. Britt once had to straddle a guy and pretend they were in bed, but she's never had to kiss someone. For the record, how does one "pretend" to be in bed? Was this shoot for Mimes Illustrated? Because that would totally rule. I don't know about you, but I find the idea of Britt miming a hand-job to be strangely erotic.

Continue reading "8th and Ocean: Can You See Me Now? Bitch." »

May 3, 2006

Double Exposure

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The last two episodes of 8th and Ocean have been great. Could MTV pull off the hat-trick and give us three in a row? Does EdHill know how to use spell-check? That's right, last night's episode was sub-par at best. No rampant whoring, no gratuitous male mascara, not even a single shot of Vinci! Instead we get to watch two careers going in different directions: Britt's is just starting to take off, while Tracie's is going down the shitter.

The way the producers showcased the two models was weird, though, since both castings focused on the girls naughty bits. Why was it a good career move for Britt to suck on ice cubes whilst undergoing a PAP smear, but a bad career move for Tracie to model a bandolier full of energy drink cans? Guess that's why I'm not in the modeling business. Although if you're reading this, Irene Marie, and you ever find a client needing a firm set of bitch-tits, I'm your man.

Continue reading "8th and Ocean: Double Exposure" »

April 26, 2006

The Duh Vinci Code

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This week, not only did MTV give us a great episode of 8th and Ocean, they also put the entire episode on Overdrive, their broadband site. So, thanks to the miracle of AlGore's Internets, I was able to watch the show, write my recap, drink beer and make screengrabs all at the same time, thus cementing my position as the laziest recapper on the TVgasm staff, bar none. Now if I could just get my insurance to cover a colostomy, I'd be in like Flynn. Without all that nasty pedophilia, of course.

And boy, what an episode it was. Seriously, this one had it all: Drama. Intrigue. Backstabbery. Even murder, if you count Vinci's continued butchering of the English language. Mostly it centered on Kelly and Sabrina, but the producers were kind enough to give us a nice dose of Vinci as well. Unfortunately, that made it hard for me to decide which characters to focus on: the Blunder Twins or their pet monkey, Gleek. Hopefully, I reached a nice balance between the two. Except for the title, of course. That had to go to Gleek Vinci.

Continue reading "8th and Ocean: The Duh Vinci Code" »

April 19, 2006

Blind, Deaf and Dumb

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Hey gang, sorry 'bout missing last week's 8th and Ocean recap, but turns out remodeling a kitchen is way more work than my wife made it out to be. The good news is the walls are down and the cabinets are up. The bad news is I've still got to finish the plumbing, install the floor and paint our new great room. Still, it could be worse. At least I'm not covering Desperate Housewives.

Or dating Heide.

Continue reading "8th and Ocean: Blind, Deaf and Dumb" »

June 30, 2006:Cup, The Mighty Booty...
May 10, 2006:Can You See Me Now? Bitch.
May 3, 2006:Double Exposure
April 26, 2006:The Duh Vinci Code
April 19, 2006:Blind, Deaf and Dumb
April 6, 2006:Breast Week Ever.
March 30, 2006:Pretty Vacant
March 23, 2006:Double Trouble In Twinsy Town…
March 16, 2006:The Power of Christ Compels Her!
March 9, 2006:Cup That Booty