Vinci meanwhile is talking to fellow male model Teddy. Teddy asks him what he’s been up to today. “Today? Meetings. Reunions. Scandal. Mysteries. All kinda stuff man.� Vinci replies. Phew, that Latin charm is even getting to me. Teddy asks Vinci if he went on the TV show casting call they were told about. Vinci didn’t simply because he had no idea that it happened. This goes back to the “doesn’t answer his phone� bullet point from earlier in the recap. I am personally crushed by this becuase watching this man act on a prime time television show would be absolutely riveting. I'm thinking a modern day Crockett and Tubb's With Vinci and Britt;

"Hey. you under arrest right? What you wanna do? You know? Freeze now. You tell Vinci straight up."

See? It just writes itself...

Next Britt is on her way to her test shoot and she’s nervous. So she calls her “mom� which I am beginning to believe is just a device created by the MTV producers to create on the spot narration. Since this shoot needs to bring out Britt’s sultry side they’ve decided to do it at a chicken farm named Jimbo’s. Britt isn't happy with her working conditions. "It smells like the boy's bathroom" she says. Hmm. Christ's wife hangs out in the boys bathroom eh? Next we get quick cuts of Britt changing into different clothes interspersed with random shots of roaming chickens. And it all happens so fast I start to wonder whether it’s Britt or the chickens that is arousing me. Britt’s hot, but let’s be honest, chicken is so moist and tender, and the way the juices just dribble down your chin… Ahem. It’s Britt. Definitely Britt. After a few sultry shots against the sunny backdrop we switch outfits but Chad the stylist is concerned about the bra. He thinks it will be an issue. Britt however is also having an issue, since she is shy and doesn’t want her boobies to show. WWJDIHBS? What Would Jesus do if His Boobies Showed? As a result of boobgate she won’t drop her hands for the shots until they have to start cajoling her into it. They do assure her however that everyting is covered up. Still, Britt looks shellshocked by the end of the shoot.

The next morning Vinci gets his wakeup call from Mia at the agency. Mia’s pissed because Vinci was supposed to check in with her at 9 AM. I guess morning for Vinci is around 11. Vinci can’t handle this kind of stress so he just tells her to “like, you know, stop with the F-ing drama you know?� and hangs up on her. Oooh, this doesn’t sit well with Mia. Time for an intervention. Irene Marie, or Marie Irene, depending on what floats your boat, is calling a meeting to deal with the situation.

“What’s happening Vinci?� she says. She suggests that maybe he should get an alarm clock. “They don’t work for me. No. Dat thing no work.� Vinci says, quite reasonably. Marie then says “bullshit� and they bring in Mia, who feels the need to wear her bluetooth headset on at all times. Maybe thats why Vinci's charms are useless agaisnt her. She's a Borg! Mia demands that he never hang up on her ever again. “When I did that?� Vinci says. Mia says an hour ago. “Oh that?� Vinci responds. Irene says they have to straighten this out. From here Vinci pleads his case;

“You told me that right? But that keep in my head all night long too at the same time. I’m falling asleep, I’m so tired. I wanna sleep, and at the same time I have the pressure ‘Oh 9:30 I have to call Mia, I have to call Mia' I swear god this. So if you have details day before…�

Mia interjects saying that she didn’t give him his details because she wants him to check in every morning at 9:30. Vinci will have none of it.

“You can’t punish me like that you know? Like little kid you know? I can’t work like that.�

Hear, hear Vinci! Stand up for yourself. Waking up at 9. Jesus Christ I thought slavery went out in 1862! What’s that Vinci? You’re saying that while slavery was abolished in the emancipation proclamation in 1862, it exempted certain border sates that had seceded from the union and in fact slavery was not fully legally abolished until the Thirteenth Amendment was ratified in late 1865? Hmm. I did not know that. Thank you Vinci!

After Vinci leaves Irene Marie Presley Love Hewitt and Mia are talking. While they both agree Vinci is an egomaniac with no concept of responsibility, he is a cash cow. And if they dump him today he will get picked up tomorrow by another agency down the street. That’s kind of similar to the way things work here at TVGasm. Sure we all love B-side, but the man's a monster. Drinking all night, hitting on our girlfriends and inhaling cocaine like its air. But hey, what are we gonna do? If we fire him he’ll just get picked up by another hot TV blog in a second and the entire B-Side fan base will go with him. Sometimes you just have to put up with certain things to get ahead. NOW WHERES MY GUNA RECAP!?!?!

Next up for Irene is to talk with Britt about the results of her "sultry" photo shoot. She asks Britt how it went and how she felt. Britt was nervous because of the things she was going to wear that might have shown her breasts. And the only person that is allowed to see her breasts is her husband. But all the worrying was for naught because the pictures look great and everything is covered. Satan will not get to see her areolas this day. Irene thinks this takes her book to a whole new level.

Posted by EdHIll on March 16, 2006 6:05 PM