Double Trouble In Twinsy Town… - 
by copygodd
Speaking of everyone's favorite Savior, tonight's episode starts off with His blushing bride Britt paying a visit to Teddy in the male models' apartment. I'm guessing Jesus must be spending too much time at the office, because Britt looks like she wants a little of what Teddy's cooking, if you know what I mean. If you don't, it means she wants her booty cupped. But inexplicably Teddy starts talking about how he doesn't date models because they're all stuck up and stuff. He says that Britt is different – awesome, in fact – but the damage has been done, and Britt says she doesn't date models either. Unless they're "Model's for Christ," of course. But that's different, because it's not really dating as much as it is the sharing of Jesus' sloppy seconds.
Meanwhile, the Kelly-Sabrina sibling rivalry is in full effect, as the Iron Maiden asks the girls if they're ready to leave the twin thing behind and start moving on to their own identity. Kelly thinks since they photograph differently (ie she does it well and Sabrina sucks) they should go their separate ways. Sabrina, of course, having no talent of her own, thinks Kelly should continue to let her leech. "Why separate now?" Sabrina wants to know. Uhm, because I've seen better morgue shots than what you have in your book, and your face is beginning to resemble a youngish Manuel Noriega. Yes, Sabrina's acne is acting up again. In fact, it's gotten so bad that the agency won't send her on any more casting calls until it clears up. She tells the boss that she's on antibiotics for the problem, but admits that it'll get worse before it gets better. And that won't happen for another three to four weeks. In the meantime, I don't understand why the Iron Sheik just doesn't market the girls as acne models, with Sabrina as the "Before" and Kelly as the "After". But that's why I work for TVgasm and not in the high-stakes world of professional modeling.
After the girls leave, Iron Eagle tells her booking agents that Sabrina's skin is "bad news." She forbids the agents from sending her on any more casting calls until it clears up. "It's really not acceptable for a model to walk around with skin like that," she says. Excuse me, but has she looked in a mirror lately? Her skin is so tight Dick Cheney could bounce a load of birdshot off it.
The Many Faces of Irene Marie.
You know, I had a friend who told me that the best way to clear up acne was to get laid. I used to think this was just a line, but then this girl we knew with horrible skin started getting her booty cupped on a regular basis, and just like that, her skin cleared up. So I'm thinking all Sabrina needs to do is pour that booty into Sean's cup and viola, problem solved.
Speaking of our favorite booty cuppers, the guys are outside tossing a ball and talking booty. Teddy admits to Sean he's got his eyes on Britt, and Sean gives him his blessing. "She's a cutie," he says. "And she's a good girl." Sean advises Teddy to take his time. Don't try to get in her panties right off, he says. "In the world of modeling, first you get into her mind. Then, when you get into her mind, you get into her heart. Then when you get into her heart, then you get into her panties." Sean is so rico suave.
Upstairs, one of the booking agents calls and breaks the news to Sabrina: no more casting calls until her skin actually resembles human skin again. Sabrina tries to plead her case, telling the agent her skin is now about a 3.5 out of 10 on the Fujita Scale of Zit Intensity. Once she hangs up, the staff share a hearty guffaw at Sabrina's expense, agreeing her skin is at least a 9.5.
Remember Adrian? Me neither. Especially now that he's cut off his locks. But our next segment focuses on a disagreement between he and Tino, his booker, over an unauthorized hair cut. Seems Mr. T is none too pleased about Adrian's new 'do. In fact, the old guy bitch-slaps Adrian for getting a haircut without asking permission. Seems Tino just put six new shots in Adrian's book, all of which feature his long, curly hair. Tino says Adrian needs to get his shit together, and they need to communicate more. "Every time I tell you something, your only reaction is 'cool' ", he says. And getting a haircut without Tino's sayso is definitely not cool. You know what else Tino thinks isn't cool? Wearing sunglasses inside. So he rips off Adrian's glasses, telling him it's "rude" to wear them. To his credit, Adrian doesn't say "cool", but he does smile, which just frustrates Tino even more. "Don't smile," he admonishes Adrian. "It's not funny." Actually, it kind of is.
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