Pretty Vacant - 
by copygodd
Still, since they don't pay me to recap bad movies (yet!), I guess I should move on to the matter at hand. This week's episode starts off promisingly enough, with Britt and Tracie on the beach talking about whether it's okay to date male models. Tracie tells Britt to stay away from them, because in her eyes, all male models are dogs. Unfortunately, she never says why she feels this way. They're always humping her leg? They'd be happy lying around licking their balls? They eat their own shit? From what I've seen of the guys on this show, I'm going with number three. Or maybe number two.
Heheheh. I said number two.
After the theme song (which I already despise), the Iron Maiden and her bookers are looking over Tracie's book. The first shots are okay, then Irene comes across one that is "horrible" and shouldn't be in there. "She used to do a lot better," says Irene. "What happened to her?" Everyone agrees that Tracie is just too skinny. I'm sorry. Someone must have stuck a dick in my ear, because I swear someone just said a model was too skinny. Oh wait, they're not worried about her weight because of any health concerns; they're just worried that it makes her look old. Schew, for a minute there, I thought they actually cared about Tracie.
Tracie is sent to a casting at "Catch A Fire" clothing. While she's sitting in the hallway with a bunch of other Auschwitz wannabes, Quincy the casting director comes by and gives Tracie a quick hugnkiss. That makes the other models (and Tracie) think she'll get the job. Unfortunately, Ms. Cedella Marley, who just happens to be the designer, feels otherwise. One look at Tracie's book is all it takes to convince Cedella that "there's no edge." I bet Iron Man would beg to differ. According to she and the harpies, Tracie is nothing but edges. I don't get it. Sure, the girl could stand to eat a few dozen cheeseburgers, but she's no Karen Carpenter. Hell, she's not even a Tracey Gold.
Back at the apartment, Teddy and Sean are talking about what else? Girls. Teddy is tired of seeing happy couples everywhere he looks. Sean tells him to relax, that love's a good thing. "Sometimes it's good," Teddy says. Like when he's looking in the mirror. Sean is surprised when Teddy says he's going to ask Britt out today. "Isn't she religious or something?" Teddy just laughs, prompting Sean to ponder, "you never know. It is harvest season. Time to plant your seed and wait." Wow, Sean makes love sound so romantic.
Inside, Sabrina is on the phone, whining to someone about how unhappy she is that the agency won't send her on any casting calls. She's sick of people telling her not to go somewhere. Sick, I tell you! So she's going to start doing things on her own. Yeah, that'll show 'em. How dare your bosses tell you how to do your job. Suddenly, the temperature in the room plunges 30-degrees as the Ice Maiden pays a surprise visit to the apartment. "Since I couldn’t find Sabrina, I came to Sabrina," she says. Wha? Irene is concerned, and wants to know why Sabrina is crying and upset. Duh! Because you won't let her ruin her career!
Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary!
Sabrina says she's not upset about her skin as much as the fact that the agency isn't pushing her as hard as the other girls. She has no jobs, nowhere to go, she can't work, can't cast… Damn your black hide, sebaceous glands!
Irene reiterates the reason she's not working is her skin resembles a sheet of flesh-colored bubble wrap. Of course, Sabrina doesn't want to hear it. She says she's not trying to be defiant, but Irene points out that Sabrina did go to a casting yesterday she was told not to. Sabrina says it's just hard to deal with having a successful twin and being around other models whose skin doesn't resemble a pineapple. Irene understands. "Twin dynamics are tough enough without your skin issues," she says. And right now, Kelly's booty is just more cuppable. They agree to give her skin a few more weeks to clear up, then Sabrina can start going on castings again.
Britt stops by Teddy's apartment and asks about the girl she saw him with last night. "Which girl?" Teddy asks. Ah, the life of a mimbo. Britt says she walked by and didn't want to interrupt their date. He denies being on a date, and says he just met the girl a half hour earlier. And since 10 of those minutes were in the dark in the coat room while they were doing it, technically he'd only known her for 20 minutes. Although biblically it was the entire 30. Teddy asks Britt if she'd like to go to dinner on Thursday, at a "cool chill" place. A French crepe place, to be exact. Teddy is so cool. And chill.
Too skinny? You make the call.
Back at the agency, Tracie is meeting with Suzy, who tells her she didn't get the "Catch A Fire" gig. Tracie can't believe it, and is upset that things are so slow for her right now. Hey, at least you still have good skin. Suzy says not to worry, that it's just competitive out there on the beach right now. I hope we get to see Charles Atlas kick sand in Tracie's face.
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