Before I get into this week's episode, let's take a quick look back at what happened in my absence: Sabrina's face cleared up. Sort of. Also, Teddy slept with Heide, then he continued to sleep as she slunk down the Walk of Shame, otherwise known as the hallway outside Teddy's apartment. Speaking of Teddy, when did he start wearing mascara? And finally, Sabrina actually beat out Kelly for a job, thus ramping up their sibling rivalry and propelling them to second-place on the list of most annoying reality show twins. Number One? Still the Brittenums. Okay, enough about last week. We've got new models to mock...

This week's episode starts off with Britt and Briana talking about how funny they think Teddy is. And not funny in the "he's a funny guy" sense. More like funny in the "he rides the short bus" sense. Britt can't figure out his game plan. First he asks her out, then he asks Heide out, and she and Heide are complete opposites. She's married to Jesus, Heide's a whore. Hey Britt, maybe Teddy's just hoping you and Heide will hook up, because if there's one thing Paula Abdul's taught us over the years (besides not to mix Vicodin and alcohol on national TV) it's that Opposites Attract.

Next, we get to see Teddy and Adrian lounging poolside. They have a casting in an hour. Teddy wants to see if Heide is going to the same casting, so he calls her up. He gets her voicemail, but won't leave a message. "I'm not about messages," he tells Adrian. "She'll see I called and call back." Other things Teddy's not about: Mensa.

Teddy catches the attention of some girls across the pool, but Adrian isn't into it, telling Teddy, "She looks good from afar, but up close she looks far from good." Man, that totally sounds like Vinci wisdom. Speaking of which, anyone know what the hell happened to our favorite Latin mimbo? Maybe he's still riding blimp… Teddy says he doesn't know what it is about Heide, but he's totally digging her right now. I'm guessing it's probably the fact that she's so easy. Seriously, I bet her vajajay has one of those Staples "Easy" Buttons on it. Teddy goes on to tell Adrian he's actually one of those "relationship" type of guys. He loves to have fun and everything, but he really likes relationships. For a certain amount of time, of course, then he starts not to like them again. Kind of like juice boxes. He loves the little straws, but after while grows tired of the limited flavor offerings.

At the girl's apartment, Talesha tells everyone she got a request to do a Maxim calendar shoot this Friday. That gives her just enough time for some extra squats and booty crunches, just in case someone wants to cup tha booty. All the girls are excited for Talesha. Except Tracie, who at 25 is already the old maid of the apartment. If she were a horse, I've no doubt Irene would've already had her shot.

Allee calls Briana to tell her that she, Teddy and Britt have a casting this afternoon for a Verizon commercial. While Teddy and Britt are waiting for Briana to finish her audition, Teddy's cell phone rings. In the Verizon building. What are the odds? The call is from another booker, telling him he'll be working with Heide on a shoot later this week. "No problem" he tells her. "I know Heide." Britt, meanwhile, looks like she'd rather be anywhere else than listening to Teddy talk about the girl he started dating instead of her. She tries to blow it off with a squeaky laugh and a "that's funny," but you can tell she's unhappy. Looks like it'll be another lonely night remembering her Kansas roots.

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Posted by copygodd on April 19, 2006 4:32 PM