Eventually the gals joined the flock of teams languishing in caviar hell. Charla was the only one who seemed to actually enjoy the food, but she was by no means the fastest. That award goes to Chip, who pounded the delicacy as if it were... um... a delicacy. Chip's swift consumption propelled him and his wife to a joyous first place finish, while Colin and Christie had to settle for the lowly silver medal. The two were on the verge of tears as Phil (who was resplendently decked out in a comfy but awkward down jacket this week) announced their second place finish. Colin looked like he wanted to beat his poor girlfriend - which TVgasm does not condone - and Christie looked like she had just survived her own personal Edward Albee play.

Marshall and Lance took the bronze with Charla and Mirna on their tale for fourth place. Meanwhile, Brandon finally coaxed Nicole away from some sort of caviar-induced coma and motivated her to finish off the blasphemous dish. I couldn't help wondering if her nausea was due to the food or Brandon's grating toddler talk: "Just two or three more bites and you're done. Just two more. Good!!!"

Crammed into the end of the episode were the travails of the twins, the bowling moms, and Bob and Joyce. These teams didn't have much screen time this week, and there was a mild effort to make the last two minutes seem exciting when it was clear that Bob and Joyce had fallen way behind the pack. Still, we did get a few gems such as when Kami (or was it Karli?) seemed to have a seizure at the hands of the notorious bowl o' caviar. Later, when the two crossed the finish line, Kami (or was it Karli?) shivered and scowled with the angry look of that little girl in "The Ring".

The bowling moms stayed fairly low key during the episode, managing to keep their endless enthusiasm off camera for much of the time. Linda practically inhaled the caviar, which nicely cushioned their lead over the shaking and twitching twins.

Poor Bob and Joyce fell victim to a badass layover. The producers played twinkly sad music as we watched the two complete their final challenges. It was a touching moment, seeing these two widow/ers give it their all when they had clearly lost. I only had one question on my mind: Do these two actually have sex? Ew, no that wasn't it. What I wanted to know is why didn't they just go for the Fast Forward? That's usually the logical choice if you're in last place. Oh well. Not everything makes sense in the world of Amazing Race. But at least it's exciting.

Posted by B-side on July 28, 2004 12:35 AM