Flying The Friendly Skies - 
by B-side
It's a small, small world. This evening, I went to pick up my friend at LAX, and guess who just happened to be there as well? None other than abusive couple du jour, Jonathan Baker and Victoria Fuller from The Amazing Race. Imagine my delight/disgust. Well, what to do? I couldn't talk to them, lest a torrent of putrid vomit spew forth from my mouth. But I couldn't just LEAVE. So I did the next best thing: whip out my camera phone and invade their privacy!
At first I was going to do the ole fakeout - "Hey guys! I'm a big fan! Can I get a photo of you?" but once again, that whole puke thing sort of kicked in. Instead, I pulled a nifty stalker move by sidling up next to Victoria and pretending to be talking on my phone. Little did she know that I was clicking away, hoping that I'd capture her before she moved elsewhere. After about a dozen beautiful shots of the baggage claim ceiling, I managed to snag one solid profile shot (seen above).
So what were my impressions? Victoria - gotta admit, she looks great in person. We all know skin has not been her forte on the Race, but I would be a liar if I said she had not tackled that problem head on (okay, so she put on some makeup. It helps!). Jonathan - short and fussy looking. Pacing around like a little rat on a cell phone, Jonathan barked orders at someone on the other line as he zipped from carousel to carousel.
Maybe he was just a little cranky from his flight. Turns out the passenger I was picking up was avid TVgasm reader Jash who just so happened to be sitting in front of Team JV the entire flight. His saga after the jump:
so i am on my american airlines flight from JFK to LAX this evening, and thought i had seen a victoria look alike around the boarding gate prior to departure. but since i am from new york and dont give a damn about famous people, i didnt care to follow up. WELL, later on my flight i had one too many vodka sodas (with lemon) and had to make a run to the bathroom. the line to the business class (natch) lavs was about 5 people deep. i didnt think anything of the short man in front of me until some blonde from the first row of coach yelled to the man and he responded "i got it victoria." got what? i dont know...coke?the voice was unmistakable. yes, HE was right there IN THE FLESH, WITH HIS WIFE!! i wanted to punch him. but i didnt. passive agression is always the better choice. when the flight attendant walked by and asked us all to not wait in such a long line, i motioned pointing to jonathan that he was in the business class cabin bathroom line. the flight attendant took the opportunity to remind him that he should use the lavs in his ticketed class. HA! meanwhile i used the lav and had another vodka soda (had to have a reason to see them again right?) and victoria is a fan of crosswords.
So you heard it here first. Jonathan Baker is a Business Class lavatory squatter. Well, squat as in trespass, not poop. Well, maybe poop. Who knows.
This run-in ranks as the second high profile villain encounter for the TVgasm folks. Last summer, we bumped into Big Brother villain Jase Wirey just days after his elimination also. Lesson learned: we attract sucky people. Fantastic.
Oh, and here's Jash's picture of me sneaking a picture of Victoria. Just take our word for it.
Okay, Estelle Getty wasn't there. But the rest is real!
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Comments
Wow. I would have been all, "I'm a big fan. Can I punch your wife for you?"
Posted by: Nick Postagulous | January 21, 2005 5:55 AM(#1 of 9)
Jonathan, what a fucking douchebag. I think I would have just punched him, or pissed him off to the point the sky marshal would have had to restrain him.
Posted by: ChristianV | January 21, 2005 6:51 AM(#2 of 9)
Excellent... most excellent...
If anyone deserves a JV run-in it's you, B-Side.
I called my girlfriend over to read this and we're both very proud of you. I'm glad you didn't say anything to them... words fail at a moment like that, and it only validates them.
I mean, what can you say?
"Dude, you're an ass****!"
Reaction from JV: "Wow, we really did our job playing 'characters' on the show. Thank you."
Or....
"Dude, you were excellent!"
Reaction from JV: "Wow, we really did our job playing 'characters' on the show. Thank you."
It's a no-win situation. You played it exactly right.
Posted by: Elvis | January 21, 2005 8:02 AM(#3 of 9)
i so wanted to say something to jonathan when i realized he was right in front of me in line. but you are right, what can you say? "uhh, dude stop beating your wife?" "sack up and eat the soup next time?"
Posted by: jash | January 21, 2005 9:40 AM(#4 of 9)
If that isn't the best use of a camera phone then I don't know what is. Actually, I was watching on the news once where they said people use their camera phones to take pictures of people using their credit cards so they can get their credit card numbers but this is better.
Well done B-Side. Maybe next time you can really get a picture of Estelle Getty.
Posted by: Lisa | January 21, 2005 9:50 AM(#5 of 9)
wow, i would have taken that golden opportunity to ask V. what she used on her skin!
Posted by: meeshie | January 21, 2005 2:26 PM(#6 of 9)
Hilarious! You should have hit on Victoria while she was standing away from Jonathan ... I can see those headlines now........
in the meantime read the Celestine Prophecy
Posted by: Retroqueen | January 22, 2005 11:27 AM(#7 of 9)
I probably wouldn't have said anything either. But I do like what Nick suggested :)
Posted by: Genevieve | January 24, 2005 1:43 PM(#8 of 9)
More on jonathan and Victoria. the show is boring with out them. I love the jb and vf airport story. How cool was that. They are a trip.
Posted by: Lisa | January 31, 2005 12:12 AM(#9 of 9)