At Le Tigre, teams encountered the Detour: Shipwreck or Islands. Hey, where's the nice alliteration/rhyming? Clearly the Amazing Race intern named that Detour. Anyway, in both options, teams had to ride through a delta on an inflatable, motorized raft (I apologize —  I do not know the specific name of this maritime vessel). In Shipwreck, teams have to search seven square miles of water and find a specific boat with only a thirty year old photo as a reference. In Islands, teams had to use a map to sail four miles away and locate a specific island. I was quite pleased with these options. Usually the show pits a search with some strenuous activity, and in recent years, the savvy teams have almost always opted for the brawn. But a dual search means we'll get lots of people choosing different challenges. Me loves that.

Alex, Lynn, Rob, and Amber found the Detour first while Uchenna and Joyce struggled to orient themselves. "Where're the docks?" asked Joyce. A quick survey of her surroundings showed that they were standing in the middle of a street. I'll give you a hint, Joyce. The docks are by that big river RIGHT ACROSS THE WAY.

Speaking of the waterway, Rob and Amber's watercraft quickly sped across the waves, even as the surf became choppy. "Holy Cannoli!" yelled Rob at one point. He then added "Mama Mia! Meetballs and Spaghetti! Pavoratti!" Unsurprisingly, Rob and Amber found their shipwreck almost instantaneously (conspiracy meter's getting some strong readings...). Meanwhile, Lynn and Alex suffered at the hands of a broken engine. The two lost valuable time as they waited for a replacement boat to fetch them. Hardly a witty barb was had. It was almost as bad as the time Madonna tried to rap on that song. Almost.

Brian and Greg meanwhile found the shipwreck fairly quickly, causing them to exchange the lamest fist bump I'd ever seen. Granted, fist bumps are inherently lame as it is. But these guys bumped fists and then opened their palms and fingers as if some explosion of energy were emanating forth. To accentuate this, they both made a "Sssssszzzz!" sound to suggest that they were sizzzzzlin'! Truthfully, it just looked like they'd taken a page from the Sparky Polastri School For Jazz Hands.

Meanwhile, as Ramber arrived on the shores of Le Tigre, Rob made the random gesture of giving his beloved Red Sox hat to the local guide on the boat. I suppose it was a nice thing to do, but something tells me he has about twelve more of them, all of which he intends to auction off on eBay. Listen, being a reality whore is a full time job. Later, in the cab ride to the Pitstop, Rob noted "I'm telling you. We just get lucky. It's like I was born with a horseshoe. Right up my ass!" And that's horseshoe's name: CBS.

Unsurprisingly, Rob and Amber reclaimed first place where they viewed a slideshow courtesy of Travelocity. Oh wait, that slideshow wasn't live? Wow, I'm really gullible. Actually, what really happened was that they won another trip to somewhere, which has us wondering why Lynn and Alex were deprived of a similar prize last week. Anyway, Brian and Greg showed up in second place, followed by Uchenna and Joyce. Ron and Kelly took the fourth spot but seemed saddened by their Bronze-once-removed placing. "They beat us then," said Ron dejectedly. Hey man, what happened to your "At least I'm not in a prison camp" mentality?

"You expect me, Phil Koegan, to believe that there's a horse standing directly to the left of me? Please."

With the first batch of teams checking in, it was time to reacquaint ourselves with the three straggling duos from the second flight. Ray was still on a diatribe against Meredith and Gretchen, this time saying "They're a couple decades beyond where they need to be." Um, Ray, you do realize that you'll be old someday, right? And you're going to probably hate the assholes who say the same thing about you.

Anyway, those old fogies who are a few decades beyond where they need to be managed to keep up just fine with Ray and Deana (who are a few decades behind where they need to be, at least intellectually). The two teams boarded the train to Le Tigre, leaving Susan and Patrick in the dust. Luckily, the mother and son were happily delusional about their place as they boarded another train three minutes later. They simply assumed they were in the lead since no one else had hopped on their train. Team Devious strikes again!

Meredith and Gretchen found the Detour first while gorilla and giraffe (aka Ray and Deana) wandered around Le Tigre. The old couple opted to find the island first, but curiously opted to ignore their map in favor of a simple trial and error strategy. This gave Donkey Kong enough time to find the Detour (after Susan and Patrick, mind you) and catch up. In fact, Ray and Deana found the next clue first, and when they passed Gretchen and Meredith moments later (and just around the corner from the clue), they played dumb, causing the old folks to follow them almost entirely back to the shore. Luckily for Meredith and Gretchen, the Mother/Son duo had the misfortune of climbing into a malfunctioning raft, causing a severe setback that they ultimately were unable to recover from.

Posted by B-side on March 23, 2005 4:02 PM