Anyway, the bush country roads turned out to be quite bumpy, causing Gretchen to comment that her bladder was going to wind up in her chest cavity. Speaking of which, the sad dread that had taken residence in my chest bladder (my bladder was safe and sound) had grown considerably as the inevitable crash scene seemed to be drawing near. Sure enough, the brothers flipped their car in an accident that way out-delivered Chip and Reichen's lame swerving off the road in Season 4. It was truly a scary moment, and when we returned from commercial break, we saw that the guys' cameraman seemed to be injured. Luckily, both brothers were shaken up but unharmed. Lynn and Alex, the first team to encounter the wreck, immediately jumped out of their car to make sure everything was okay. Like Uchenna and Joyce donating clothes to Meredith and Gretchen, this act showed great character from these racers (if I had a plaque, I would bestow it on them). Brian and Greg seemed confused, bewildered, scared, guilt-ridden, and about half a dozen other things so well depicted on those insurance commercials with Dennis Haysbert. Meanwhile, Rob and Amber, who had managed to pass everyone on the road, simply motored by without even stopping or slowing down to make sure everyone was all right. Granted, they had no obligation to stop, but seriously, at least roll down your window and check in. Lynn and Alex eventually left, and for the record, every other team that drove by stopped and offered assistance. The brothers just waved everyone by and waited for the replacement car to show up.

Meanwhile, Ron and Kelly had already arrived at the next clue which was the Detour: Food or Water. Teams could either fill a basket up with corn they had pounded to a fine consistency or they could fill twelve ostrich eggs with water syphoned from a well. Ron and Kelly opted for the food challenge, which in retrospect wound up to be the more difficult of the two options. Ramber arrived next and opted for water, quickly catching up to Ron and Kelly. Lynn and Alex soon joined the POW and beauty queen, and as both teams pounded the corn, the guys were sure to catch up everyone with the gossip: there was a car wreck and Rob and Amber didn't even bother to help! Sure enough, Ron and Kelly entered superhero mode as they bashed the corn with new resolve to not let Rob win the race. Unfortunately, Rob and Amber seemed to be almost done with their eggs, and it became apparent that these two might be snagging yet another first place. Luckily, Ron and Kelly managed to finish their Detour in just the nick of time, and the two teams jumped into their cars and sped to the Pit Stop. Eventually, it came down to a foot race, but Rob and Amber were soon stymied by some errant clues that had fallen out of their bags. As they stopped to pick up their mess, Ron and Kelly checked in first, but sadly, won no prize. WTF? Rob and Amber stepped up to the mat next, and Phil threw a little PA softball at them, asking "Did you guys stop for the wreck?" That was okay, Phil, but you really need to take a page from Jeff Probst sometimes. You know, really let them have it with a snippy remark like "Wow. You guys didn't even stop. I didn't think that people could be so heartless and pigheaded, but you proved me wrong. Let's hope that you don't wind up in a situation where you'll need someone else's help!" Man, Probst should really host more shows.

Back at the car wreck, the brothers paced around and waited for the backup car. One of them said he hoped they don't get eliminated because of this. Yeah. Hope your camera man doesn't die either. I mean, that would be a major downer, dude. Later, when the guys got their new ride, they were kind enough to say a prayer for their fallen videographer. Okay, these guys are really nice.

At the Detour, Ray and Deana had arrived and were working on that corn. Unfortunately for them, their teamwork was at an all time low as they kept accidentally bumping into each other and generally failing to produce any sort of worthwhile cornmeal. When she wasn't incurring more injuries to her face and neck, Deana took the opportunity to whine, causing Ray to nearly lose it. "This is your goal. DO IT!" he barked. Meanwhile, the old folks and Uchenna and Joyce soon arrived and got to work with the corn. Uchenna was a monster and soon eclipsed everyone, ultimately checking in with Phil in third place. Alex and Lynn came in fourth and were proud to once again bash Rob, tattling that he just kept on driving without stopping. These guys love to gossip.

As Ray continued to get mad at the corn, the brothers finally arrived with their replacement car. Using some brainpower, they noticed that teams all seemed to be doing the corn thing. Hmmm... That means that it must be hard. The guys took a risk and went for the ostrich eggs, but surely they wouldn't be able to come back, right? Right?

Posted by B-side on April 1, 2005 12:30 AM