Okay, apologies. That intro really made no sense at all. Come on, I had to write something. Anyway, last night's episode kicked off with Rob and Amber ripping open their clue with great optimism. Fly to Lucknow, India said the clue. Once there, teams would have to find a large temple/religious building and locate a clue hidden inside. Great! Let's go!

Well, the travel plans were a bit tricky this time around. The producers had arranged transport from Botswana to Mumbai (Bombay), but from there, it was up to the teams to figure out how to get to Lucknow. Oh, and everyone also had to sign up for a charter flight from the Pitstop to Francistown, Botswana. Okay, so lots of flying. Just give me the nifty map, and I'll be fine.

Ramber signed up for the first charter plane and were followed by Ron and Kelly who after their meltdown last week, were trying to keep it together. Uchenna and Joyce were third and immediately we had our first "Awwww..." moment of the night as she said "Walkin' in the rain with the one I love." Okay, say it all together: awwwww.... Uchenna commented that it was quite a nice thing for Joyce to say, and well, I have to agree with him. That WAS very nice. Joyce, you get a gold star for today!

Also having fun were the dependably sharp Lynn and Alex who noted that despite the cliché, the adversity of the race had really brought them closer together. Lynn then slipped into his supermodel mode and boasted "We are so amazing." He then brushed back his long blonde hair and prepared for compliments. Believe it or not, I didn't make any of this up. This is why you've gotta love these guys. They provide the snark for us. Although, it is hard to be funny about jokesters. I feel like I'm just standing here pointing at them, meekly saying "Yeah, what he said."

Fifth out of the gate were Meredith and Gretchen, the latter of which let out a strange "oooh" noise upon receiving the India assignment. Granted, our gal Gretch is always good for some chirps, buzzers, and toots, but this was really strange. The two explained to us that they had no real allies in the Race and the best thing they could do would be to take them out one by one. But safety first. "We don't want to break a hip," noted Meredith. Gretchen then pointed to her forehead and seethed, "You see this? It's bloooood, you sissy boy. Now hurry up!"

Anyway, all the teams boarded the same charter plane (Why even have the option for other flights?) and flew to Francistown where they awaited their connection to Mumbai. With some downtime on their hands, the teams all scurried to book flights from Mumbai to Lucknow. Alex snatched a local's cellphone to call a travel agent while Rob talked to an airline employee. There was lots of babbling about connections and cities and dammit, I was confused. Where's that neat map they always give us? I'm starting to get lost here.

Nevertheless, Rob and Amber booked ticket for themselves and Ron and Kelly while Alex got flights for everyone else. Amidst all the chaos, I couldn't tell who had the better deal, but either way, Rob told the ticketing agent not to allow the other teams to book flights with her. Of course, any smart team should know by now that they should always keep an eye on Rob in case he pulls these shenanigans. Then again, maybe it was all in vain. Maybe Rob's flight would actually be behind the others. JUST SHOW US THE DAMN MAP!

Well, we couldn't check out the map just yet because we had some interpersonal business to attend to. Ron and Kelly, although temporarily allied with Ramber, were starting to feel the social stigma of constantly working with the Survivors. Besides, on a personal level, they simply didn't like Rob and Amber, calling them two of the most manipulative people they'd ever met. "Gotta cut it off and quit talking to them," suggested Ron. Amusingly enough, Rob seemed oblivious to this seething disapproval. "Our relationship with Ron and Kelly is definitely one of mutual respect and friendship towards each other," he explained. I guess it's this sort of self-delusion that's lead Ramber to believe America wants to see their televised wedding as well.

Finally it was off to Mumbai, and while Ron, Kelly, Rob, and Amber seemed to board their connection almost instantly, the other teams had some time to kill in the airport. Gretchen decided to take a supermarket sweep and shop for some cheap backpacks. She quickly learned that there were no senior discounts in India, but our intrepid consumer still found a backpack that worked just fine. Personally, I was hoping she'd throw down some cold hard cash for a SpongeBob knapsack, but I guess that would be asking too much. "Boy, don't you look snazzy!" complimented Meredith upon seeing his wife modeling her new accessory. "If you're a good boy, Meredith, later tonight I'll wear this backpack and nothing else," cooed Gretchen in return. Okay, sorry, that was just gross. I apologize.

Posted by B-side on April 13, 2005 3:58 AM