Anyway, at long last I finally got my map as we saw the two flights leave from Mubai to New Delhi to Lucknow. Thank goodness. I was going a bit crazy there without that map. In my disorientation, I even made a semi-kinky Gretchen reference just now. Don't worry though. I think I have my wits about me. After all that talk about flights and connections, it turned out that Rob's plane arrived first, but only by eight minutes. The two lead teams quickly jumped into pre-paid taxis and drove to the religious palace, Bara Imambara, where, as Phil reminded us, their next clue was hidden. Driving through the streets, Ron noted "The only thing I can equate this to--" Okay. Here it comes. Say it Ron. Just say it. "-- is this is kind of like when everyone was trying to get the heck out of Baghdad because it was being bombed." OH REALLY? I didn't think you'd bring that up AGAIN. Tell me, is that the only thing you can equate this to? And just how is this reminiscent of a city being bombed? I don't see anyone fleeing for their lives. I don't see, you know, BOMBS. I wonder, is this his knee-jerk reaction everytime he sees traffic? Crowded streets, sweltering heat, cars at a standstill - MY GOD! IT'S IRAQ INCARNATE!

Well, while Ron continued to ride along in his cab (which, being a vehicle and such, reminded him of the cars in Iraq), the other teams landed and headed to the taxi stand. They soon learned that two other teams had just been there, much to Gretchen's dismay. Chaos soon reared its ugly again as Lynn, Alex, Meredith, and Gretchen attempted to pre-pay for their cabs. There was lots of yelling, quick editing, and general confusion. Silly foreign taxi services. Will they ever learn???

We cut to commercial, and when we returned, the taxi mess sorted itself out quickly as the teams all jumped in their cabs and headed to the next clue, which, as Phil mentioned again, was located in Bara Imambara. YES PHIL, WE KNOW! Rob and Amber were first to arrive, and after their donned head coverings, they marveled at the sight of the building. Rob even promised to build a palace for Amber that was twice as nice. Huh. That was actually a very sweet thing to say. Must have been hanging around Joyce a little bit too long. By the way, if several hundred years from now there is a giant palace that's dedicated to Amber from Survivor, it's safe to say the human race is doomed.

Anyway, after finding the clue in Bara Imambara, teams had to take a horse-drawn tonga (man, I love Amazing Race transportation) to a steel emporium where a Yield awaited. Everyone assumed Rob and Amber would be using the Yield on Lynn and Alex, but no, they opted not to. And for the record, Ron and Kelly actually arrived at the Yield first and unwisely chose not to use it on Ramber. Seriously, even Rob admitted he would have used it had he been in their situation. Oh well. It probably wouldn't have amounted to anything anyway. We all remember last season when the Yield was placed on a nonelimination leg (kind of like the Fast Forward on the nonelimination leg this season. Memo to producer: these devices are supposed to AFFECT the game).

After passing up the Yield, teams then encountered the Roadblock which tantalizingly asked "Who has the most patience?" Well, Ron had an idea: "That has to be you," he said, nodding to Kelly. "I mean, it's not you really, but it has to be you for this." Shut up dickwad. If anyone has patience, it's her. She's the one who has to deal with all your constant yammering about how the traffic and the lightning and the wind and the sunlight and the hills and the birds and the flowers all remind you of I-freakin-raq.

And so Kelly and Amber jumped into the Roadblock which had them searching through six hundred steel boxes for one of ten clues. YES. My second favorite type of Roadblock (after the food competitions, natch). The two gals carefully peeped into dozens of boxes, and as the task became increasingly difficult, Kelly came up with a plan. Whoever finds a clue will holler out. Huh? Why? It's not like there will be two in one box. Maybe Kelly thought that if Amber found a clue, she'd wait around until Kelly found one also. Either way, this strategy's limitations were quickly made apparent as Amber came across her clue first (of course) and quickly alerted Kelly, resulting in... nothing.

Well, Rob and Amber were told to take a rickshaw to a small service station under a bridge. Ah yes. The rickshaw. It's like an old friend coming to dinner. Ramber headed off on their odyssey, and not too long after, Ron and Kelly hit the road as well. The rest of the teams eventually made their way to the Roadblock (none used the Yield) and seemed to find their clues relatively easily. Alex even did a little dance. Once again, Meredith and Gretchen fell behind the pack (seriously, every SINGLE time!) and arrived at the steel emporium last. Good ole' Gretch tackled the challenge, but she was soon overwhelmed by all the giant boxes stacked over her head. Would she ever find the clue? Or would this be a repeat of poor Lena's hay bale horror from last season?

Posted by B-side on April 13, 2005 3:58 AM