Sadly, it looked like it might be the latter, especially since Gretchen didn't seem to have any discernible strategy for searching the boxes. Then again, you can never know anything with all that tricky editing the producers use. After some time, Gretchen finally found her clue. Ah, but when one door opens, another closes. Where to find a rickshaw? "Can you find us a rickshaw?" she asked a local man. Hate to break it to you, Gretch, but they're EVERYWHERE! Seriously, just jump in the air, and I guarantee you'll land in one.

Meanwhile, at the front of the pack, Rob and Amber arrived at the service station where they received the Detour: Solid or Liquid. In Solid, teams had to go to a nearby location and chisel away enough charcoal to fill three 170 lbs. bags which they'd have to transport a short distance via a tricycle (don't worry, it was a cool tricycle with a flatbed and everything). In Liquid, teams would have to travel three miles away to a tea shop, load up a wagon, head to an office building, and deliver five cups of tea (one at a time) to people off a list who in return would hand over their business cards. As Phil was happy to point out, Solid was closer but tougher whereas Tea was farther but potentially time consuming. Man, he LOVES tradeoffs! Actually, the best part of all this was how Phil addressed the camera with a crowd of local men standing resolutely behind him. I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling they were about to reenact a scene from Westside Story, or at least an old Pat Benetar video.

When you're a Phil, if the spit hits the fan, you got brothers around, you're a family man!

We'll just settle this now. Everyone opted for the tea challenge. Rob and Amber jumped onto a rickshaw while Ron and Kelly waited behind. You see, Ron wanted a rickshaw too, but Kelly was pro-taxi. Eventually though, Ron insisted that they take a rickshaw, causing his girlfriend to state, "I disagree with that, but I'll go and do it... But I'll make it known I don't agree." THANKS. I was afraid you wouldn't make it known. Luckily it's on the record now; so if she ever decides to run for office and an anti-rickshaw smear campaign surfaces, we'll know exactly where she stands on the issue. Actually, as we all know, her little comment was merely "I told you so" insurance for later. It's always nice to see people planning their passive aggression ahead of time. I hate sloppy, impromptu PA.

Anyway, there's really not much to say about the Detour. While it was entertaining, it was basically ten minutes of watching all these people running around, trying to find their tea targets. There were some minor incidents such as when one man claimed to be someone else and Rob almost got fooled. "Don't try to pull a fast one like that again!" he scolded. Yes, stop not-understanding Rob in his language that is not native to you! How dare you be confused by his foreign tongue! Actually, the moment was rather benign, even though CBS had hyped it all week to make the incident seem like Rob was headed for the slammer. Honestly, I love the Amazing Race, but we should all know by now that almost anything they promote is sure to be a big nothing.

Hey Ambah, it's like 90 degrees. Take off your coat!

As for Meredith and Gretchen, they rode their rickshaw proudly through the streets of Lucknow. With the cameras on them, the locals all assumed they were celebrities and asked for autographs. Maybe they thought the couple was Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward? Either way, Meredith and Gretchen soon had crowds literally surrounding them and cheering them along. It was kind of like those early '80s music videos where a singer would walk through the streets, slowly accumulating an improbable posse of followers and dancers.

Was it me, or was this moment mildly reminiscent of Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It?" video?

Eventually, Rob and Amber completed their Boston Tea Party first and headed to Phil who was waiting at the crummiest Pit Stop EVER. But wait! Maybe it wasn't a Pitstop. After all, the clue only said Phil was at "the mat". As Ramber headed towards this mysterious fate, the other teams finished up as well, thus ending what was sure to be the most annoying day in ages for these workers. Seriously, how annoyed would you be if reality stars kept running into your office and offering tea? Well, actually, I would love that.

By the way, did I say all the teams had completed the Detour? I lied. Gretchen and Meredith had yet to even start it. This was especially amusing in the wake of Alex and Lynn who in fourth place feared that the old couple had powered their way through the charcoal challenge and leapfrogged to the front of the pack. Yeah, not so much. Instead, our cheery old couple had just arrived at the office building that all the other teams had already left.

Dying of thirst and wishing to drink some of the tea themselves (shades of Gus from AR 6), Meredith and Gretchen headed in and quickly got to work passing out their libations. Once again, a man accidentally tried to take someone else's tea, causing Gretchen to whip out her matronly guilt. "Shame on you!" she said tongue-in-cheek. Well, at least they were having fun. And better yet, they had gone a whole five minutes without getting lost. Baby steps...

Posted by B-side on April 13, 2005 3:58 AM