By now, they had encountered the American Pavilion which was essentially a giant wire-framed sphere built for the 1967 World's Fair. "That's pretty crazy they built something that cool back then," remarked one of the daughters. She's right. It's a common fact that cool architecture didn't arrive until say 1985 or so. I mean, we all know that the Taj Mahal was built in 1992. Sheesh.

Anyway, the Weavers then searched all around the American Pavilion for their next clue which then directed them to an industrial complex where they'd have to find La Porte J, or as we in America would call it: Door J. And so the team hopped back in their cab and continued their love-fest with Ted. "God led us to you. He dropped us off right where we needed to be," Linda said. Later, she even added, "You're like a blessing from heaven... I said, 'God, we need the right taxi driver. Please send him to us.' And he did!" Hey Linda, do you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you're using up all your prayer credit on stupid things? I mean seriously. God's a busy man (or woman or, er, celestial body).

Over at the ice rink, the Linzes finished up their curling in typically happy spirits, and as they left, we were treated to an oh-so-artistic shot of them departing through a mirror. Well done, camera man. Well done! With dreams of opening up a curling rink in Cincinnati, the Linzes then headed to the American Pavilion where they seemed to momentarily transform into the Weavers' goofy cousins. First, Alex told the taxi driver to "Andele!" Then, as they searched for the American Pavilion, Megan suggested, "I say we ask old people... They were around during the time." I don't know what sort of spell Linda cast on these kids, but I hope it wears off real soon...

I guess we should check in on the Bransens. They were still rolling logs, with the daughters squeaking "Eeeee!" at every possible chance they had. Nothing new there.

The Weavers meanwhile finally showed up at La Porte J and encountered the next Roadblock which involved one person learning and performing "The Catch" on a trapeze. Unsurprisingly, the Weavers through Rolly to the fire, or El Fire-o, as he calls it, and as he learned the trapeze technique, Linda became a nervous wreck, imploring, "Pray for him, Rachel. Pray!" Luckily, her spirits remained high as she then told us, "This has been the best day. Gosh, it's been fun!" Yeah, we'll see if you're still saying that a few paragraphs from now.

Anyway, Rolly completed his trapeze jump, causing Linda to gush, "OH MY GOD!!! WOW!!!" She then yelled at the trapeze acrobat, "Are you sorry that you caught Rolly? YOU WILL BE!!!! Oh, wait. No, never mind."

Well, next stop on the leg was the Parc Olympique where teams would have to hop onto a golf cart and drive into the Stade Olympique. Ah, but there was only one access route into the stadium, and it would not be easy to find. The Weavers drove off to this next challenge, and soon after, the Linzes arrived at the Roadblock. "I'll do it," Megan said meekly, but her brothers didn't hear her, and Alex wound up accepting the challenge. C'mon Megan. You gotta shout that shit out!

Anyway, as Alex climbed up to the trapeze, his siblings all feared that he might be too, uh, rotund for the challenge. "Alex is a fat lard," Nick said. "Let's go fatty," added Tommy. "Think light, think feather," Megan then said. Now that's what I call familial support! Well, Alex failed his first attempt to do "The Catch," which severely impeded his attempts to impress the female acrobats, or as Tommy so nicely called them, "those two broads."

Butt seriously, folks...

Luckily, while Alex flailed in his circus of shame, the Weaver faced an ungodly setback: they couldn't get into the damn stadium! But Linda had a foolproof plan: "We should always take the left. Because the right's the most common. The left is always the way we should take." Uh, Linda, I don't think the stadium was designed with trickery in mind. Also, I know this is crazy, but if you approach something from the opposite direction, left becomes RIGHT! Crazy, huh?

Back at the Cirque Du So-Lame (I slay me), a sweaty Alex flopped again. To lighten the mood, he noted that one of the trapeze guys was just "hanging out." Hey, let us make the corny jokes. You just focus on getting through this and beating the Weavers. In the meantime, the Bransens actually caught up, which meant the Linzes had somehow lost about an hour on the Weavers. Not to fear though. Alex finally completed the task, and then it was off to the stadium. Meanwhile, the Weavers still struggled to find an entrance, going so far as to try ramming an elevator door open with their cart. Eventually, they found the proper access ramp (blast!) and entered the stadium where they found their next clue.

Sorry, Linda. You can't just will a door open.

Posted by B-side on December 15, 2005 4:24 PM