As for John and Scott, they had been doing well, but they were mired in that most dangerous and unpredictable of Amazing Race pitfalls: the crappy taxi driver. Yes, they were stuck in traffic with a cabbie who had no idea where to go. This could only lead to bad things, but since these guys weren't particularly interesting, I didn't mind that much. Besides, John was turning into a major priss. Just stay in the traffic and be eliminated. Good riddance.

Meanwhile, DarkPhil and Michelle bolted into the Hotel Unique, yelling, "Hey, did a black team just come through here?" Gosh, those pesky black people are just the bane of Lake's existence! Poor Lake. If only he had been one season earlier, he could have said things like "That Black family" or "That Black person" and gotten away with it.

Speaking of "a black team," Ray and Yolanda were presently racing through the streets in their cab. Ray urged the cabbie to speed up, but Yolanda calmed him down, doing a funny impression that sadly just doesn't translate to text. Nevertheless, the fact that she did it upped her coolness level quite a bit.

Over at the bridge, Wanda and Desiree found the clue box which housed this season's first Detour: motor head or rotor head. In motor head, teams had to assemble a motorcycle. It could be difficult, but those who were mechanically inclined might speed through it, or so Phil said. In rotor head, teams had to travel to a heliport, locate one of three buildings in a flight directory, take a ticket for said building, and then fly to it in a helicopter. Once there, they then had to search the area for a clue. But lo! Each building had a limited number of tickets, so while some people could fly over to a building nearby, others might have to travel a long distance to complete the task. Sounds more complicated than it really was. Basically, teams had to take a helicopter ride.

Well, various teams got their clue from the bridge, and then there were Fran and Barry. Like every single old couple since the show's inception -- it seems -- they talked a big talk about wisdom and competing against youth, and then what did they do? They wandered bewilderedly right by the clue box over and over and over again. Could we have one old couple that doesn't get lost and disoriented? Just once? For thirty minutes these two walked up and down the bridge, and at multiple times, they marched right past the box. This led to the camera frequently zooming in on the box, as if to say "IDIOTS!!!" At one point, the camera seemed to be already trained on the box before the couple had even walked by, and yet Fran and Barry still missed it. Guys -- when you see your camera man focusing on a box on the side of the bridge, chances are, that's THE BOX!

Seriously, how do you miss that?

Faring better were the hippies who were already on the way to the heliport. "So what if we didn't wear deodorant this morning?" BJ asked. So what?? Hey, I can smell you through the TV. Can't you just stop off at a Brazilian Rite-Aid and pick up some Old Spice?

Random aside: what's Abruzzi from Prison Break doing in this Volkswagen commercial?

Back at the bridge, Fran and Barry continued to wander around while Team Double D snuck in and snatched a clue out from right under their noses. In a surprise move, the girls actually opted for the motorcycle challenge. I always love seeing people on The Amazing Race doing something I never would have expected them to do. That being said, I could not see this ending favorably for these two.

Meanwhile, John and Scott had come to a critical -- and passive aggressive -- impasse. John wanted to get out of the cab, and Scott, well, he didn't really talk much. He was more of a "Hey, let me ignore you and look out of the window" type. Nevertheless, this caused dramatic John to remark, "Okay, YOU stop being so negative and try to help." I was hoping he'd top this off with a few air snaps, but alas, no such luck.

Well, Dave and Lori surprisingly showed up at the heliport first and were soon joined by BJ, Tyler, Eric, and Jeremy who had all wound up at a military base by accident. Oops. And over at the motorcycle place, Team Double D showed up and were immediately and utterly lost. They weren't as lost as Fran and Barry, however, who were STILL hunting for the damn clue box. They might as well have worn t-shirts that said "We're old and clueless." It wasn't until Mojo showed up that the old people finally figured out that the clue box was right. under. their. noses. Well, Mojo opted for Rotor while Fran and Barry chose... Motor? Again, another odd choice, but apparently Fran insisted that she could do it. Why are the most random, mechanically disinclined people choosing the motorcycle challenge?

Moments later, Lake and Michelle arrived at the bridge, causing Joseph to comment, "There is Scott Peterson right there." Okay, Joseph earns a point on the cool scale for that. He's still got quite a ways to go before escaping the Frendra stigma though. As for Lake, he found the clue box pretty easily, but I'm surprised he didn't yell out, "Anyone see the black feller? Black guy? Anywhere?"

And hey, remember those annoying sisters? Well, they were stuck in traffic -- and a stench. "Did you fart?" one of them asked. Luckily, her sister said no, but still, did we really need the image of a "Glamazon" farting?

Posted by B-side on March 3, 2006 1:47 AM