Meanwhile, David and Lori landed on terra firma, and as they headed to the religious ceremony, Dave reflected, "We kissed in a helicopter above São Paulo... We'll remember that forever." Aw, that's sweet. Granted, they probably have a lot of those "memories":

"We kissed at the Olive Garden just as our breadsticks arrived. We'll remember that forever."

"We kissed at the Olive Garden AFTER our breadsticks arrived. We'll remember that forever."

"We kissed at the Olive Garden just as our second basket of breadsticks arrived. We'll remember that forever."

Elsewhere in the huge city of São Paulo, Mojo finally got to the heliport thanks to their new AMIGO! AMIGO! and like Dave and Lori, they flew to the second building and also had to scour an office for their clue. This time, they brushed by some woman standing around, Xeroxing. And again, I couldn't help but think how random it would be to be copying something and then have the Amazing Race literally speed in behind me. I think that would be awesome. I'd totally be one of those people who aggressively helps a team. You know, go along for a ride all day and help with local navigation -- only to be dropped off in some remote location with absolutely no idea how to get back to my car.

Back in the motorcycle shop, Fran and Barry still stood around, waiting for Lake to help out. By the way, Fran and Barry totally remind me of that old couple in the Citibank commercial that plays the ukulele. You know the one? Where at the end, the wife says that her husband missed a verse. Are you with me people? Huh? Okay, I'll move on. Anyway, point was that Fran and Barry were clearly making a huge strategic mistake by waiting around for another team to save them. And while they twiddled their thumbs, Lake attacked the motorcycle like it were some alligator he was trying to strangle.

"Don't be my DEMISE!!!" he seethed at one point. And yes, that's totally going to be my new catch phrase. I just hope he doesn't say that to his poor, poor dental patients when pulling a tooth. (You know he does.)

Eventually, Lake and Michelle finished the task, and as they put on their backpacks, the angry dentist gave Fran and Barry some vague assistance along the lines of "The screw goes in the spark plug. The spark plug goes next to the engine. The engine goes under the seat. And that's all folks!" Yes, in a move that surprised no one but the gullible old folks, DarkPhil gave about three pieces of advice and then jetted outta there. Fran and Barry then toiled for about thirty seconds until they realized that maybe this Detour might not be such a great idea. And so they hopped in a cab and drove to the helicopters.

"This could be our downfall," Fran uttered. Well, I would have pegged the downfall on spending over a half an hour walking by the clue box on the bridge, but I suppose this works too. Fran then seemed to get mildly choked up as she said, "This is very sad. A sad day." Okay, it's not like the Holocaust just happened all over again. You just messed up a little on a glorified game show. Keep it together, Fran.

Also in need of keeping it together were the Glamazons who were becoming increasingly annoying with every passing minute they were on screen. In fact, I had a feeling they were hamming it up for the cameras. My strongest bit of evidence: the non-stop screaming from these two. When they arrived at the Detour, they once again lost it for no real reason. They did quiet down for a few precious seconds as they skimmed through the flight handbook, but once they received tickets to go up in a helicopter, the screaming began again. Louder. And louder. And louder still. One of them even claimed to have peed in her pants, which was good -- she deserved to soak in her own nastiness after all the auditory pain we'd had to suffer through. (Don't worry, I can be bitter like that because it was clear that she hadn't actually peed in her pants.)

BE. QUIET.

Meanwhile, Fran and Barry and Scott and John had also arrived at the Detour and were all furiously leafing through their flight handbooks. The old people rebounded from previous idiocy to find a building very quickly, and on top of that, it happened to be the closest building of all. Scott and John, however, had no such luck, thus leading to a cavalcade of rolled eyes, annoyed sighs, snippy remarks, and fussy turning of the pages.

Over at the front of the pack, Jeremy and Eric and Tyler and BJ arrived at the religious ceremony. After a little dancing with the locals (including a massive snake) the teams received their next clue which sent them to the Estadio de Pacaembu where Phil and his soccer sidekick awaited. I didn't know who the sidekick was (probably some former superstar like Pélé), but he seemed contented to hang out and bounce a ball on his head. I personally would have liked to have seen Phil take a stab at it a few times. I bet he could balance that ball on his nose like a seal.

Posted by B-side on March 3, 2006 1:47 AM