This week's episode began in lovely Vietnam where our dearest Phil stood proudly before a sunny seascape, or as I like to call it, a Philscape™. This tranquil and wonderful image, however, was quickly replaced with the harsh and unseemly sight of Rob and Kimberly emerging from the Pit Stop. Apparently razors are in short order in Vietnam because Rob was growing in a patchy, salt-and-pepper homeless beard. Nevertheless, the two bickering ninnies opened up their first clue and learned they'd be taking a train back to Hanoi and flying to scenic Chennai, India, but because of Vietnamese regulations, they wouldn't be able to purchase tickets at the airport. Hence, Phil advised, "so it's best to get them at a travel agency." Well, yeah. Of course, it's best. What other options do they have, PHIL? Thanks for the loaded suggestion!

Anyway, as Kimberob jogged off to the train station, Rob asked, "Ready for some curry?" Clearly he didn't realize that curry was just as readily available in Vietnam as it was in India. Some people and their curry ignorance...

Rob then told us that "Running this race is a metaphor for a life together." How wonderful. And if this race is any indication, that life together will be ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE (and possibly filled with curry).

Out of the gate next were Sarah and Peter and their invisible partner: disillusionment. Yes, Sarah was seeing Peter for who he was these days, and she wasn't a big fan. "I don't hold him on this pedestal that I did before," she said. To be fair, she can't hold him on the pedestal anymore on account of the pedestal's legs leaking hydraulic fluid. Personally, I'd like to see Peter hold Sarah up on a pedestal, only because it would be fun to watch him yell, "C'mon, sister! Get up there, SARAH!" as she struggled to climb on top of the pedestal.

Next out were the models, who were particularly chatty about their druggy days this episode. "We are recovering addicts," one of them said, as if we didn't already know. He then added, "We were addicted to BLUE STEEL!" Actually, he didn't say that. Instead, James -- a.k.a. the one addicted to silence -- commented, "I think one of the hardest things about the race is being powerless over a lot of the situations." You know, like being around black market hashish and heroin all day long.

One situation that the models seemed very powerless over was their inability to draw a train. Yes, in an effort to guide their cabbie to the train station, Tyler attempted to sketch out a little locomotive, but all it really looked like was a car with a smokestack. But then again, on a second glance, one might say it looked like... a marijuana pipe with wheels. Oh, those recovering addicts! Must everything be a reference with them?

The Cho Brothers (Win/Win) emerged next, and for whatever reason, they decided a pair of matching novelty t-shirts that said "LOST" and featured pics of Phil. I'm still waiting for this alleged sense of humor to kick in with these guys. Following them in fifth place were David and Mary, who talked about all the wonderful things they could do for their family with the prize money, and behind them were Lyn and Karlyn, who told us that this was the longest they'd ever spent with each other face to face. Last but not least were those sneaky Miss Americas, who promised, "We're going to have to pull out all of our cards!" And maybe after that, they can pull out all the stops. Of course, that's assuming they have one more stop up their sleeve, if you will...

Well, everyone wound up on the same train, which meant it was a case of the ol' equalizer kickin' in. As they traveled from one town to another, Tyler and James informed us that they saw a guy shooting dope out their window. "Brings back a gruesome truth for James and I," Tyler mentioned. Yes, back when they were at their low point, they too often shot up in rural Vietnam.

Posted by B-side on October 17, 2006 7:37 PM