American Idol: Donna Summer Wins
Hey! T.Vo and Flipit here with a live blog of the finale! HOLLAAAAA!!! And now! For the last time this season! THIS! Is American Idol!
Spoiler alert! Donna Summer wins!
May 22, 2008
May 21, 2008
American Idol: Fetus Bites Cook's Ear Off, Proceeds to Sing in Ear with Robotic Perfection
American Idol + Recurring Extended Boxing Metaphor + Jock Jams ("Are You Ready For This") playing in my head nonstop = Seabreath not having a chance to say "This is...American Idoooooooooooollllll!" But I'm not entirely convinced that Michael Buffer on the show is a good thing.
Just a regular ole' meeting of NAMBLA.
We've got David "Sugarfoot" Cook in the red corner at an impressive 180 lbs v.s. Fetus "Babycakes" Archuleta in the blue corner at a whopping 100 lbs when wet. Let's get ready to rumble, bitches!
May 16, 2008
American Idol: Tapdancing Penguins: 1, Syesha: 0
I'm feeling irrationally, excessively emotional (fluctuating between depressed, elated, constipated, frantic, and resigned) so it must be that time of the month week again. Thanks for visiting me, American Idol!
Cramps and bloating are a bitch.
Continue reading "American Idol: American Idol: Tapdancing Penguins: 1, Syesha: 0" »May 14, 2008
American Idol: Dead Horses
Tonight we get three times the magic! Three times the excitement! Three times the thrills! As any mathematician can tell you, three times zero is zero. Call PETA and arrange a truck to the glue factory, cuz this horse is just about beaten dead. THIS. Is American Idol!
Tell us a story, Paw!
May 8, 2008
American Idol: America's Most Smartest Idol
This week on American Idol, Yoko got another free plug and I ate over 10,000 depression calories. Thanks, Nigel!
Being rich means never having to say you'll practice proper hair maintenance.
May 7, 2008
American Idol: Gang of Four and Songs of Ganja
America learns the proper way to give a hickey.
Dear Seabreath,
Why does my vote matter more this week? It would only matter more if fewer people were voting, but that doesn't appear to be the case since you claimed that 45 million people voted last week. I may be the only Asian kid alive who can't do calculus, but I still think this is Fetus's American Idol title to lose. No matter what I do, I can't rock the vote!
May 1, 2008
American Idol: And Then There Were Four: Voodoo Dolls Really Do Work!
"These faces have been on your screens for over three months. You know more about these tools than any other season. You are voting more passionately than ever, but one of them has to go."
For a second, I thought Seabreath was breaking the fourth wall and talking directly to me. I was so startled I dropped my Brooke White voodoo doll. Then I realized I am utterly trapped by the glorious gongshow that is American Idol!
Continue reading "American Idol: American Idol: And Then There Were Four: Voodoo Dolls Really Do Work!" »April 30, 2008
American Idol: Maybe Dolly Parton Week Wasn't So Bad After All...
This week, Neil Diamond proves that he's the only person alive who can make his songs tolerable. He's also the only person alive that looks like Bill O'Reilly made babies with Andrew Lloyd Webber, but that's neither here nor there. This! Is American Idol!
April 24, 2008
American Idol: You Must Hate Me, America
There are times on American Idol where you're left saying "Well, that was quite a shocker", and there are times that you're throwing Little Caesars at the TV and screaming "ROOBBBBBBBBBEEED!"
Guess what kinda night this was for me?
April 23, 2008
American Idol: Brooke White and Restartgate
Don't forget the Jabbawockeez are America's Best Dance Crew, dawg!
Dear Judges, Andrew Lloyd Webber wants his masks back. This is American Idol goes to Musical Theater Camp, where anything goes!
Continue reading "American Idol: American Idol: Brooke White and Restartgate" »