Hollywood: The Place Where Dreams Become a Reality TV Show - 
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Rocker Segment. It’s Constantine Maroulis, who quit is band to sell out nationally, Aaron Kelly from St. Louis, a monster with lustrous brown locks, and Bo Bice, a primordial missing link with the best voice of the three. Constantine makes me long for the simpler days of Rob Thomas. Alas, they all make it through.
Brianna David is like Ronald McDonald, if he could sing opera, had a vagina, and thought he was Japanese. With a white face, yellow teeth and Wonderwoman boots, she’s kinda funny, but a little too much and not a great voice. (Although her audition was surprisingly amazing.) Simon tell her “No, sweetheart”, and I call up Insane Clown Posse to see if they’re hiring.
Las Vegas’ (the city, not the show) Mikalah Gordon dons a Germaine Jackson hat and a sports bra, and gives it her all. She is so Fran Drescher it’s not even funny. Except she’s 16, and Fran Fine was a 30-something slutty Nanny from Queens. C’est la vie. She’s different, and has a fun stage presence and a good voice. Simon whispers while she sings that “she has to be the most confident 16 year old he ever met in his life.” I.e. he wants to commit statutory rape in like half of these United States. She tells the judges that she “missed her homecoming for this”, but that if she goes home, Simon has to come to the prom with her. And can you imagine losing your virginity to Simon Cowel? It’s like “The Devil called, he wants his 18-inch strap-on back.” Short story long, Mikalah advances.
Marlea is not emotionally stable enough to go through, and she becomes the first contestant to quit. Way to waste this recappers time, Marlea. She complains that it’s a lot of work, “an emotional roller coaster, and she does not want to be on this roller coaster.” No problem, I think there’s a seat free on the “Figure-Yourself-Out-O-Tron.”
A montage shows a series of others make it through to the next round, and some who were cut. And the best news! Remember that little pixie girl I hated, i.e. Cindi Lauper. She’s out! Pixie is out! Oh, Sigh Of Relief!
Thankfully, I’ve blown my wad at the very end of the episode. More antics to come tomorrow night, when those who made it through must pair up in three’s and make a little dance up. And hey! Where’s Seacrest? My heart feels funny… like empty? Yeah, that’s it, empty.
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Comments
Love the clarissa explains it all reference! My favorite Nick show!
Posted by: joney | February 12, 2005 11:57 AM(#1 of 5)
"Next, church-boy David Brown, who I adore. He has an amazing, positive energy, and just seems like the nicest, most charming guy ever."
I agree, there is just something about this guy. People are already rooting for him and they're barely out of the block. He's my favorite so far.
Great recap! I half-ass watched the episode, but you have left me with great visuals. Bean teeth? ew.
Posted by: Caroline | February 12, 2005 5:52 PM(#2 of 5)
As far as Michael Liuzza, he's actually a really good singer and a great guy. I spend time talking to him because I set up a fan site because of his story and hearing music he wrote/performed before AI is wonderful. The style is so different and I love it.
It's worth giving a listen to.
Posted by: Mandy | February 15, 2005 9:27 AM(#3 of 5)
Travis Tucker is going to be the next American Idol!!! He has it all...the voice, the moves, and the looks!!!!! I am rooting for him ALL THE WAY! I decided that when he auditioned in D.C. the first time.
Posted by: Lynsey | February 17, 2005 7:13 PM(#4 of 5)
MICHAEL LIUZZA...check out some of his music samples on his website.
I think many will be pleasantly surprised!
michaelliuzzafans.com
Posted by: flh | February 24, 2005 5:41 AM(#5 of 5)