American Idol Music Special: Don't Judge Me Edition - 
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By Umnata
Because of my extreme dedication to TVgasm and American Idol, I downloaded the entire American Idol – Season 5 – The Encores CD off iTunes, to let you know what is good, bad & ugly. What’s that? No, B-side didn’t ask me to do this! No, it’s not part of what I normally write for the site! Please see title above: Don’t Judge Me!!! I’m trying to help you out here, people! I’m trying to save you precious minutes of your life, as well as the $9.99 it will cost you to download the album off iTunes. I’m defensive because I’m a nerd. To help gauge just how bad some of these are, I’ve created the Ryan Seacrest scale of Cheesiness, ranging from 1 – 10. If something is a 10 make sure you take some Lactaid before even listening to it.
1) "What About Love?" – Melissa McGhee
Poor Melissa. Her first time on screen was at the Top 24, giving her a major disadvantage over the other contestants. She was the first AI finalist to be booted off the show after she forgot the words to Stevie Wonder’s "Lately," and she gets my vote for the person who was probably most susceptible to Ace Young’s post-elimination seduction (Besides Ryan Seacrest, of course). All that being said, I was a pretty big Melissa McGhee fan and rooted for her over Ayla Brown only after she pulled out this Heart number during the last round of the Top 24. The “magic” that existed, by all accounts in my mind alone, doesn’t necessarily translate well onto CD. Melissa sounds just fine, good even, but come on, she’s no Ann Wilson. And if she’s not going to do anything different with the song (like Carrie Underwood’s season 4 version of Alone – chills), then this is just really good karaoke. Which, Melissa my dear, is a lot better than really bad karaoke.
Ryan Seacrest Cheesiness rating: 8
2) "Superstition" – Bucky Covington
The First sign of the Apocolypse?
You knew you were going to have to hear from Bucky Covington at least one more time, and at least now you don’t have to see him. It’s shocking, but Bucky actually equips himself favorably on the country-rock version of the Stevie Wonder classic. This coming from someone who fast forwarded through 95% of his performances. His voice is actually a lot better when you don’t have to look at him or watch him swirl his microphone in his hand. Of the American Idol losers he surprises the most.
Ryan Seacrest Cheesiness rating: 6
3) "I’m Every Woman" – Mandisa
I never fully jumped on the Mandisa bandwagon, but you’ve got to be deaf not to acknowledge the fact that she’s got a massive set of… pipes. What did you think I was going to say? I hate this song, probably because I’m not every woman, and I didn’t freak out when she sang it the first time in round three of the Top 24. Here it’s actually quite worse. Her voice is strong (on recording they can remove those bum and sharp notes she used to hit quite often), but the production is pure cheese. Unfortunately for Mandisa, I don’t know how far she’s going to go now that she’s announced that she’s not a big fan of the gays (and it was no coincidence that this little tidbit led to her immediate ousting on the show), which is a shame because you can almost see how well this song would play at Vito Spatafore’s next house party.
Ryan Seacrest Cheesiness rating: 7
4) "Wanted Dead or Alive" – Chris Daughtry
Stop grabbing my ass Seacrest I just got voted off American F-ing Idol
I think this was one of Chris’s worst performances on the show. It’s also one of my least favorite Bon Jovi songs (which is like trying to pick my least favorite episode of Who’s the Boss, they’re all kind of bad – and they’re all kind of enjoyable). But you’ll be happy to note that this is even further proof that Chris was robbed of his rightful place in the Top 2 (damn you McPheever!). This probably won’t convert any Chris-haters out there, but for us umm, Chris-aholics (why didn’t Chris get a fun fan group name?), it’s further validation that he’s going to go someplace. Fuel might not be the best band in the world, but he rocks out on this song like he’s not the 4th runner-up on American Idol, but rather like the lead singer of… well, Fuel.
Ryan Seacrest Cheesiness rating: 1
(dude, I might be a fan, but this is still an American Idol CD)
5) "Father Figure" – Ace Young
Like a lot of the country, I was fooled after Ace sang this song in the first round of the Top 24 that he was going to be a real talent. Sadly, he peaked, not just in the competition, but I’m afraid in life, during that performance. I was hoping that he was going to recapture some of the magic here, but without him eye-raping the camera, it comes off just as bad as you might think it does. Plus, he sings “I’ll be your daddy”, and there just isn’t enough soap in the world to make you feel clean again afterwards.
Ryan Seacrest Cheesiness rating: 9
6) "Takin’ It to the Streets" – Taylor Hicks
AWW OLD PEOPLE ARE FUNNY!
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