We Were All Rooting For You! (Well, I Wasn't) - 
by J-Unit
Tiffany has been slowly breaking down over the last few weeks. She feels more and more out of place each week, and since Brandi left, it seems as she doesn't really have anybody she can talk to in the house. It looked like she tried to reach out to Keenya, who is from Compton, and may be able to understand Tiffany, but it doesn't seem like it is working. The girls were trying to explain what cockney was and said it was sort of like a white, ghetto slang. Tiffany took offense to the use of the term ghetto as a negative, and thought everybody was trying to make it sound like people in the ghetto aren't intelligent. I don't think her roommate's were trying to be that malicious, they just weren't linguists. They really didn't know how to explain their theory that well. I guess Noam Chomsky only comes around once in a lifetime.
The main photo shoot was nothing too exotic, but continued with the theme of acting a role. The girls were whisked away into the hills for a photo shoot for Wonderbra. They also were given probably their most enjoyable prop of the year - this model named Rib. No, I didn't leave off any letters there, his name is Rib. I am sure it is short for something else, but I don't want to look it up because it is really cracking me up thinking about calling a guy Rib. Imagine if you were listening to one of his friends talk to him on their cell phone. What a strange one-sided conversattion. "Rib, yo." "Nawww Rib" "Rib, I don't care what you say, I like her" "Sure, I'll pick you up at the airport Rib" What is that?
So, we have Wonderbra and a male model. If you think that sounds like a recipe for a sexy photo shoot, you were right. Everybody got to frolic on the bed with Rib (ha! I'm still luaghing) while Jay used a fan to blow a bunch of down feathers in the air, adding a little bit of action to the faux pillow fight the girls were having with Rib.
This sort of shoot was completely made for Brittany. That girl could look slutty making french toast in a mumu, but throw her and her ample assets into a push-up bra, and it is all over. Asking her to pretend to be having fun with a guy, and that's just too easy. It's all so natural. It was also very natural for Tatiana. In fact, most of the girls could relate to the little round of foreplay, except for Kahlen. Somebody please go check the boys in Oklahoma. Perhaps they have been drinking too much Mountain Dew or watched that vasectomy episode of Seinfeld, but apparently Kahlen has never had a boyfriend. I guess she is only twenty, and it's not so terrible strange. It definitely wasn't an act, as she literally covered her eyes when Rib walked in wearing only boxer briefs. During the shoot, it looked like she was worried she would get pregnant if they were too close or moving too fast.
Kahlen: "I'm too young to have a baby!"
TIffany also had trouble with the photo shoot. She is slowly becoming more and more detached from everybody else. We already had the "i am so homesick, let me call my grandmother who raised me moment" this episode, and she admitted to not being mentally focused during the shoot. Rebecca had an entirely different problem. She has a fiancée, and was going to get married soon after she got back from the competition. Girl was not looking forward to getting all hot and bothered with Rib. Eventually, she sucked it up, pretended it was her fiancée on the bed with her, and then had her fun.
Judging day arrived, and just when I thought that it couldn't get any funnier than watching the girls fumble lines with their cockney accents, we had something even better. For the mini-challenge, the girls had to read from a TelePrompTer, pretending they were from ANTMTV reporting from a fashion show.
Admittedly, reading from a prompter, not having practiced the lines is difficult, but not impossible. As long as you know how to pronounce most of the words, you won't have too big of a problem. So when you saw that words like chartreuse were up there, you knew it was going to be funny. What you didn't expect was so many girls having trouble butchering other words, like "magenta". You also might have thought that some of these girls would know how to pronounce some of the names famous models and designers.
Last, but not least, you never expect anybody to read any of the non-vocal prompts. Kahlen proved us wrong when she spoke some of the words in parentheses, which in prompter speak is non-verbal and perhaps a direction clue. So when Kahlen saw "(looks to the left)" she just spoke "Looks to the left". She caught herself, but it was still funny.
Once again, having a very difficult time was Tiffany. She wanted to quit in the middle of her performance, but the judges convinced her to go on. She kind of went through the motions, but pulled it off. When she left, she said "this is embarassing", which really upset the judges.
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