Extreme Makeover: Model Edition - 
by J-Unit
Sorry about the extraordinarily lame title for this latest episode of America's Next Top Model. I have been starting a lot of recaps with apologies lately, so I figured that one more time ain't going to hurt. I probably could have spent a few more minutes thinking of a better title, but "Extreme Makeover: Model Edition" hopefully puts one more nail into the coffin that is the "Extreme Makeover: [Insert Word Here] Edition" joke that is used way to often, and perhaps it will be enough to kill off the show as well)Extreme Makeover, not ANTM!), or at least help all of those lawsuits along. But back on topic, this week marks the time for the model makeovers, always one of the greatest episodes for ANTM. We may argue about a lot of the things that the judges think, but when it comes to makeovers, they know their stuff. The girls are given a look by the judges to varying degrees of success. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not, but the most important thing is to work it out. You know, do your thing, on the runway, like a Supermodel! Somebody should write a song about it.
The first week brings about a lot of the quotes that we are used to seeing. Sarah is there, saying that being almost eliminated was shocking, but if she was shocked by her almost-elimination, she must not be looking in the mirror that often. A lot of others are saying they can't believe Ashley isn't there, like every single one of them wasn't actually elated that she was kicked out early. Finally, Ebony chimed in saying that you can't underestimate anybody, because, you know, it's a competition. She says that if you let your guard down, they'll flock to you like a pack of hyenas to a carcass. I will give her bonus points for actually being the first model to use "carcass" in a diary interview, but her analogy is too sophisticated for this town. Hyena’s sounds like a martini bar in Fresno. She should have said that they would flock to you like Tara Reid on an open bar, or Lara Flynn Boyle to a pound of collagen. Now that's something people can relate to in this town.
When the girls got their Tyra mail, everybody was really excited, even though some people didn't think that they needed the makeover. OK, so everybody pretty much thought that they needed it, except for Cassandra, who said that she likes the way she looks and doesn't think that she needs to change because of her natural beauty. This means, of course, that she will probably have the most dramatic change in the whole group. The girls head to Louis Licari, which is on Camden in Beverly Hills. I only mention this because there is a great little restaurant called The Grill just around the corner on Dayton. Best meatloaf in town, which doesn't say that much in Beverly Hills, but they also have a great Arnold Palmer, and you can't get any better than that combination.
Once inside, a lot of the girls start fretting about what might happen, but Jay Manuel is there to remind them that sometimes it takes a huge transformation for a model to go from ordinary to extraordinary, so to speak. He and Tyra then start breaking down exactly what they are going to do to each girl. Along with the appearance makeovers, Jay was going to speak with each girl and give them a style that they should emulate, which seems fair. Tyra and Jay are coordinating their makeovers for a certain look, so why not let them know what they were thinking when they created the look? It might even help some of them cope with their new styles a little bit better.
I do think that this was an attractive group, but there were quite a few people who really needed makeovers, including Coryn. Last time, I said that she reminded me of Sam the Eagle from Muppets fame, but this time with her hair pulled back she reminded me of David Blaine. I say this also because Coryn has been a master illusionist, because if you take off her pants, she can make her balls disappear. Shouldn't there be a "tuck rule" in modeling as well as football? Coryn was going to get one of the most dramatic makeovers as they were going to dye her hair blonde and bring out a John Deere lawn tractor to trim her eyebrows down a little bit.
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