Dumb Bitches Get On My Nerves - 
by J-Unit
As always, the floor was opened for questions, and Bre wondered how she take her confidence on the runway and carry it to her pictures. Twiggy asked what her goal was and when Bre answered it was to be a legend, Twiggy told her that was the wrong way to go and that she should focus on the here and now. Well, THAT will teach Bre not to have any dreams. Diane also had a question, this one pertaining to her hips. Because of her curves, she knows people look to accentuate them, which means she is usually sticking her boobs or butt out. See, Diane was worried about looking like a porn star, but I don't know too many guys who would sport wood after going by a Dunkin' Donuts, so what could be her problem? You know, besides that she wore that stupid cutout bathing suit last week.
All of this was taking place at Smashbox Studios, the home of Los Angeles Fashion Week. Smashbox is run by Dean and Davis Factor. I am not sure why they trotted these two out, because I think that there is nothing about them that you would want to associate with makeup, but at least they don't test on animals. The Factor family is very famous in the world of cosmetics, but their name has been quite sullied by Andrew Luster, the grandson of Max Factor, who fled to Mexico after being arraigned on multiple rape charges for drugging women, having sex with them, and filming the whole thing. He was eventually captured by Dog the bounty hunter, which means that we may have the Factor family to blame for the early promotion of the dumbest mullet ever.
Hi, we're the non-rapist, non-fugitive Factors.
To help the girls identify their flaws, they were all told to write what they thought was their own worst negative and a negative for all of their girls as well. Quite clearly Lisa was up for this task. She put down her housemates all the time, why should this time be any different? Everybody was kind of embarrassed by what people said about them. Jayla had the big ears, Bre had the big teeth and the fivehead, Nik had the big bug eyes, and Lisa could look a little cross-eyed. Overall, it was pretty normal stuff, and nobody got too upset with what was said of them.
There were a few things said that were quite harsh, like Kim's critique. Somebody said that her ass was not toned and she had love handles. Meeeeeoooowwww. When asked who gave that criticism, Lisa quickly admitted it was her. Although Jay grabbed Kim's ass to test it and pronounced that she wasn't flabby, I kind of have to agree with Lisa. Jay said that it was her slim hips that gave the illusion of being untoned and maybe chubby, and I would add that her posture doesn't do anything to make her look lean. Still, she could use at least a little muscle tone, because she has that thin and flabby look going for her that you get when you think a healthy lifestyle is soy milk and cigarettes.
Lisa also had harsh words for Coryn, calling her too skinny and too muscular at the same time. Actually, I think she said mosque-ular, which I guess means she works out five times a day, and always points her treadmill towards Mecca. Earlier in the episode, Lisa had gone off on one of her drunken advice rants. Some people get belligerent when they are drunk, some people get happy, some people get touchy feely, and I guess some people turn into Ann Landers. Lisa kept on telling Coryn that she should just eat and not work out. Coryn, and let's be honest, everybody else, is getting sick of Lisa's advice and is wondering why Lisa thinks she should take her advice during a competition. When she heard this skinny/muscular thing, she knew it had to be Lisa and shot her a really dirty look.
Coryn handled it all pretty well; she simply told Lisa not to speak with her. Lisa drinks a lot, puts everybody down, but she is still yearning for friends, and when Coryn rejects her, you can tell it hurts. What hurts me is that I think the Harvest Peach Yoplait I just ate was a little on the old side. Either that, or I need to replace the baking soda in the TVgasm fridge. After Coryn sort of stood up for herself, a lot of the other girls chimed in against Lisa, especially Kim who makes fun of her for her drinking and her old age.
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