Dumb Bitches Get On My Nerves - 
by J-Unit
I thought this shoot was very interesting. For the most part, the girls had layouts that were to make fun of some of their flaws, and try and teach them how to flaunt them. Some of the themes were better than others. Nik's plastic surgery was CRAZY HAIR EXTENSIONS TO THE FLOOR. Although Nigel later said that he never saw a hairy girl look so gorgeous, there was nothing exceptional about the shot, except that Janice told her that she should do it naked. Thank you Janice, god bless you dear woman. Looking at Nik, I really wondered how different the show would have been if it was "Hairy and the Hendersons" and Nik was the sasquatch who walked around naked with hair extensions. OK, that's just disturbing. Let's move on.
Kim was given breast implants, and Janice was really frustrated with how little expression she was getting out of her. I do agree. Kim just has this sort of glassy stare in all of her pictures. They say Coryn can't smile, but I think Kim has the real problem. Kyle had lip implants, Bre had cheek implants, and Coryn had a botox injection, something that Janice also knows a lot about. Winning the most ironic photo shoot theme this year, and taking away the title from Keenya as an elephant was Lisa, who was given a face-lift. Jay had to help her pull it together, and she was determined to take a great picture. The girls had some shouts from the peanut gallery, but Janice defended her by saying people who speak on the sidelines are jealous, and that Lisa was a star. With that bit of confidence, Lisa focused and did really well.
Nicole was given an over-the-top Mystic Tan. Well, it seems over-the-top, but you really need to live in Los Angeles to realize how many people are actually in denial about their tans and hair color. There is this person I know, let's call him Justin Case. He clearly dyes his hair blonde, wears blue contacts, and tans three or four times a week, even during the summer, yet won't admit it to anybody. I also think he may have calf or butt implants, but I am not about to take the steps to figure that out. Speaking of butt implants, that was Jayla's theme, and her booty was kind of round, but eh, it could have been fuller. Her round butt did give her an even more Norelle-ish sort of look.
Finally, we had Diane, who was going to have a breast reduction. I am not sure why they chose to parody people who get breast reductions, because usually they do it because of health issues, or am I wrong? Of the people that I know who have had that surgery, none of them was because their B-cups were just too huge and made life difficult. I guess they didn't want to be mean and have Diane do liposuction, but that would have made more sense because more people suck the fat out of their asses and stomach for vanity than any other reason. Well, to make it look like Diane had a breast reduction, they had to bind her in, which I assume meant a corset that flattened her out. It hurt her to breathe, and she started crying, which is the worst thing to do because it ruins your makeup.
Diane got through, and Janice finished up. It seemed like she loved working with the girls, thanked them for the opportunity, reminded everybody she was the world's first supermodel, and told them to be a sister to the other models, because that is how she became, you know, the first supermodel. Anyway, here are my favorite shots from this week:
Other people really tried to do what Jay had told them and flaunt their flaws. Bre said that she would stand out from people who had straight teeth. Sounds absurd, but Khalen rode her snaggle teeth to second place last year. Lisa went over the top, saying that her crossed eyes were the least of her worries, and that she was flat chested, and had a gap, and uneven eyes. It's great to be self-deprecating, but if you make fun of yourself too much, why would people give you a job?
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