Dumb Bitches Get On My Nerves - 
by J-Unit
Perhaps the most interesting part about panel is that we got to hear from Dane and Davis Factor again! Those guys are so interesting! OK, they really suck. I know that Bankable probably wanted to do something with Fashion Week, but is getting on the inside of Fashion Week worth putting those two guys on TV? Judging was already bland enough before they got here, but whatever. The real news was that Nigel used to be a model before he was a photographer. Well, I am sure it wasn't news to all of you Nigel fans, and here is a picture of him back in the day so you call can swoon.
JFK Jr. and Orlando Bloom, meet your love child.
I thought this was going to be a hard elimination because I thought a lot of the shots were really good, and nobody had a really awful picture, and there were a lot of good close-ups. Most of the critiques were about confidence, and the people who really stood out for the judges were the ones that had good answers for them during the go-sees, like Jayla, who when asked about her big ears told them they would have plenty of real estate to model earrings. They also warned a few girls that just being pretty wouldn't cut it, which is kind of how Nicole and Kyle have been making it through. As the numbers go down, being safe might not work.
The last two were Bre and Diane, and they both were up there because of their change in attitudes over the course of the competition. Bre looked like she had the life sucked out of her completely, like she barely had the will to live, let alone model. She admitted that a lot of the criticism got to her. Tyra had warned that there would be a lot of criticism and that there would be people who take it over the top. There could be "I hate Bre" chatrooms (and I am sure there must be an I Hate Lisa site out there somewhere) and she would have to be tough. Diane, well, we have seen this coming for a while. She is just so nervous that her natural energy, which really drew her into the competition in the first place, is completely tapped. It looks like she is going through the motions.
Diane was eliminated, and it was a good choice. I received an angry e-mail about her departure, but I don't think that it was a tough decision, and she could have been eliminated any of the previous weeks. She's attractive, but I'll be frank, because of her size she is going to be judged differently. She was always going to have to be twice as fierce and bring twice as much energy to whatever she did, and she was just barely skating by to the point where you weren't sure she wanted it anymore. As for Bre, hopefully it was just a minor setback because she's still one of my favorites (along with Nik and Jayla; Lisa is beginning to fade on me), and I hope she goes far.
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Comments
OH GOD, NIGEL.
Posted by: Rebecca | October 13, 2005 11:34 AM(#1 of 45)
What's wrong with Cassandra? She quit to compete to become Ms. Universe which she has a 1 in a gazillion chance of doing. Rather than take a 1 in 11 chance to become ANTM. WTF
If Lisa don't get off my homegirl Coryn I'm gonna start doing some serious hateration blogging on here. Coryn is beautiful, sensual, soft and has those cutting eyes that gently says 'bitch' when she looks at you. Love it.
Ms. Dick-O-Son was made for ANTM. A little dosage does a body good. Not like the Surreal Life overdose.
FINALLY, they elimated the X-Large Latina. yay...
Who the hell is Lucsious Jackson? MJ's cousin?
GO WHITE SOX!!!!!!!
Posted by: America's Next Top Fan | October 13, 2005 11:53 AM(#2 of 45)
I like Lisa as a model, although she is a bit of a crazy drunken bitch. But she is really heads above the others in her photoshoots. I don't think she looks "aged" old, just her face has a more mature look to it. Linda Evangelista was a lot like that. Lisa's got a "jolie laide" thing that is potentially much more "high" fashion than the other girls, and actually reminds me a lot of Kristen McMenamy who didn't really take off til her mid-20s (same thing with Erin O'Connor). Still, she's a long shot. I really like Jayla, and Nik too.
Bre really does need to fix her Bugs Bunny teeth. Still, I don't find her particularly interesting to look at, and her walk/trot SUCKS. Her little comment about becoming a legend, was in the Cassandra realm of delusion, and it was entertaining to see her deflate when Twiggy (very politely) criticized her for saying that.
But Kim, as I've been saying for past couple of weeks, has no range, no variety, can't walk, can't pose, can't take pictures. If Twiggy freakin' says "ooooh, but I love her look, reminds me of me" one more time, I'll scream.
And Nigel, *mreow*.
Posted by: chronic | October 13, 2005 11:54 AM(#3 of 45)
J-UNIT-- how could you not mention Coryn's turn into psychotic ghetto bi-atch with the Lisa situation?? I thought it was HI-larious when she said she doesn't hang out with "females". Something about her is really really weird, like when she had such a serious face when she was called and replied robotically "no, i'm happy". something very off-putting about her. Also, Kim's comment about how she looked exactly like where's waldo was so funny, but kim is my friend and she makes the show. Although i can't say much for that dead animal she was wearing later...
Posted by: KW | October 13, 2005 11:59 AM(#4 of 45)
I don't know too many guys who would sport wood after going by a Dunkin' Donuts, so what could be her problem?
What on earth does that mean? Sometimes I worry about you, J.
Also, I liked how Lisa was chosen as the first finalist this episode - I think the judges are totally playing her, making her think she's the shit so she'll become even more outspoken, making everyone hate her even more. Evil, delicious ANTM!
Posted by: Kat | October 13, 2005 12:03 PM(#5 of 45)
KW (#4) yeah, that whole mini catfight was great. There is something odd about Coryn. Dunno, Twiggy said it best "there's something sad that the camera always capture". Plus she NEVER smiles. Maybe she's pained by taping her penis down. I kid...I Kid. Luv Coryn!
Posted by: America's Next Top Fan | October 13, 2005 12:12 PM(#6 of 45)
nigel looks decidedly more hot and less chicken run in that photo.
i am SO HAPPY janice was back. she is the bestest!
Posted by: jash | October 13, 2005 12:15 PM(#7 of 45)
J-UNIT!!!
I can't believe you didn't comment on the two stupid comments this week. First was Kyle forgetting what the second option was in the oh-so-confusing "Flaunt/Hide Your Flaws" shoot. "And...um...what was the other one?"
The second being the girls not knowing "Fake it til you make it." I know models aren't known for their intelligence but come on!
I'm over Kim. I thought she was hot like Shane in the L Word for awhile but her posture is terrible and she just looks silly in heels. She's not a supermodel.
Posted by: BSideLover | October 13, 2005 12:28 PM(#8 of 45)
I have a Ph.D. and I kept getting confused on the whole Flaunt/Hide thing, especially when they showed the pictures. Something counter-intuitive about "Flaunt" being the bad picture, and "Hide" being the good one.
Posted by: chronic | October 13, 2005 12:34 PM(#9 of 45)
agreed there's something odd about coryn, but i think it derives more from the fact that she's a man than from her lack of smiling ability...
Posted by: ACE | October 13, 2005 1:12 PM(#10 of 45)
If I think Kim is kinda cute, does that make me gay?
Posted by: EdHill | October 13, 2005 1:41 PM(#11 of 45)
EdHill -
No. It's a much better crush than last season's - Lluvy. Ugh.
I still owe you a punch for that.
Posted by: sg-dub | October 13, 2005 1:45 PM(#12 of 45)
Great recap.
I was loving the episode once Coryn stood up for herself against Lisa. I totally agree with the girls, that Lisa is hard looking and old for her age.
BTW. When I saw all of that booze on her bed, it reminded me of China Doll's misadventures on Surreal Life. There is nothing like a raging, lose lipped alcholic to keep the housemates knee deep in turmoil.
I am starting to like Coryn now and rooting for her and Nik to make it.
By far, the best moment of the show , was Jay's comment about Lisa's lazy eye. OUCH.
Posted by: usnrnpage | October 13, 2005 2:36 PM(#13 of 45)
Oh, I am so glad that you mentioned the "fake it until you make it line."
Very doubtful that Mawtha was listening. And that's a good thing.
Also, thanks for posting Nigels modeling photo. That man was HOT.
Posted by: usnrnpage | October 13, 2005 2:41 PM(#14 of 45)
In the picture of Bre and Diane, why are Bre's arms the same size as Diane's? I you look at most of Diane's pictures, they totally airbrush out a lot of her curves.
Posted by: carol | October 13, 2005 2:48 PM(#15 of 45)
Lisa looks like Drea De Matteo in the facelift shot. This was the first episode this season I've seen, and in the opening credits, most of the models look like drag queens... Not that thats a bad thing
Posted by: Kelley | October 13, 2005 3:14 PM(#16 of 45)
"...it looked like she packed enough to last her, Tom Sizemore, and several Baldwins through a nuclear holocaust or three."
Good one!
Posted by: Texas K | October 13, 2005 4:13 PM(#17 of 45)
Lucious Jackson is a band from the 90's...GOD you make me feel old!
Posted by: Megan | October 13, 2005 7:18 PM(#18 of 45)
I'm 22 and know all about Luscious J-- 22 isnt old yet is it?
Posted by: KW | October 13, 2005 8:54 PM(#19 of 45)
I hate to say it but I still like Lisa. She's different looking, a little conceited, but still beautiful. I can't stand Coryn, she doesn't smile because it hurts to walk around with her dick shoved between her legs all day. Something about Nicole bugs me too. I like Nik, Bre & Jayla. Great recap!
Posted by: Jaime | October 14, 2005 6:48 AM(#20 of 45)
Dean Factor used to date Shannen Doherty until she tried to run over him with her car in his own front yard....
she's crazee.
Posted by: sharon W | October 14, 2005 10:12 AM(#21 of 45)
Why no picture of the shot of Nigel without his shirt?????
Posted by: Moi | October 14, 2005 10:20 AM(#22 of 45)
j-unit,
the dunkin donuts comment made me guffaw out loud in the middle of the accounting department. brilliant.
i bet those ollllld lucious jackson girls have hit a few dunkin donuts in their time. saw them on vh-1 classic. I SAID CLASSIC. old, crotchety 30 year-olds have feelings too you fools.
Posted by: k37744 | October 14, 2005 11:26 AM(#23 of 45)
"Actually, I think she said mosque-ular, which I guess means she works out five times a day, and always points her treadmill towards Mecca."
LMFAO! Excellent.
Posted by: redhaiku | October 14, 2005 1:42 PM(#24 of 45)
I was a little sad to see Diane go. I wish she would have just not been so self-concious. She seemed to treat people decently.
Also, I think that the other girls might be more open to Lisa's comments if she wasn't drunk when she was saying them. But none of the other girls are going to believe that she is helping them because she wants the competition to be "as fierce as possible".
I agree that Coryn... uh... has a strong jaw line, but she has come a long way from her audition. Sometimes she looks really hot.
Posted by: T. Ditty | October 14, 2005 3:22 PM(#25 of 45)
I love last week's episode where Coryn told Lisa off. Lisa needs to mind her own damn business. Just because she knew a little about modeling, she thinks she automatically gonna make it. The girls that think they know everything, they usually don't, and they end up losing. Nik, Coryn and Bre, keep it real. Show em' how we represent.
Posted by: sexykee | October 14, 2005 6:56 PM(#26 of 45)
hope coryn wins!
if not nik!
Posted by: antm fan | October 14, 2005 7:16 PM(#27 of 45)
Nigel is yum yum yummy~
Posted by: Me | October 15, 2005 1:57 PM(#28 of 45)
Nigel just makes me all squishy inside. I'd love to see more of his modeling pics, with a lot less clothing too...
Anyway...I'm glad that lame chubby latina is out the door. She had nothing of value to offer the modeling world.
KH
Posted by: katieshole | October 16, 2005 6:51 AM(#29 of 45)
J-Unit, I love Luscious Jackson, let's go for a car ride.
I don't know why they bother having one plus-size girl every season, she always gets sent home early. Maybe Tyra gets off on making the big girls of the world feel bad about themselves, and she's doing it one girl at a time.
Dumbest part of the show: when Bre was scared that they were going to perform surgery on her. Models don't have to be that dumb, c'mon! Reminded me of a really dumb girl I used to work with who was terrified of "handicaps."
Posted by: Mrs. Petersen | October 16, 2005 3:12 PM(#30 of 45)
is nigel gay? he seems to think all the darker skined girls are hot all the time! (not that that makes him gay, but i always thought he was....)
Posted by: ALECIA | October 17, 2005 11:27 AM(#31 of 45)
TYRA BANK"S HAIR IS FAKE!!!
she has a deases, nd the deases is that hair doesn't grow on your haed.
she's wearing a wig!!
IT"S NOT A RUMER!!! SHE EVEN SAID IT ON THE NEWS CALLED INSIDER OR SOMETHING, SHE SAID IT WITH ANOTHER CELEBRITY, AND THE CELEBRITY WAS ON A SHOW CALLED GENERAL HOSPITAL!
Posted by: ahhaha | October 17, 2005 2:30 PM(#32 of 45)
is tyra hair fake? or does she have that deases where you dont get any hair on your head?
Posted by: ahhaha | October 17, 2005 2:31 PM(#33 of 45)
are you forreal?
Posted by: ??? | October 17, 2005 2:33 PM(#34 of 45)
hey all ya haters stop talkin bout those gurls on antm your just jelous!! mattha fuckers!! if your asking why im doin this i't s cuz ima be a celebrity n ima be pissed if these dam people talked bout me!! nd dont make rumers! IM FORREAL!!!
Posted by: fuck ya'll | October 17, 2005 2:42 PM(#35 of 45)
rumour / disease
Posted by: jb | October 17, 2005 4:58 PM(#36 of 45)
LMFAO "Ima be a celebrity and ima be pissed." That is my new dumb-bitch catchphrase. Mr. Petersen is gonna die laughing when he hears that one. "FORREAL!!!"
Posted by: Mrs. Petersen | October 17, 2005 6:55 PM(#37 of 45)
Seriously ... did Bre really think they were going to be forced to endure plastic surgery? I know this isn't America's Next Top Rocket Scientist, but still.
Apparently I'm the only one who likes Kyle.
Posted by: Hater | October 18, 2005 8:22 AM(#38 of 45)
How long are we gonna have to put up with Kim's horrible modeling. She hasn't had one good picture! The only reason they have kept her this long is because she is gay. Diane was way better than Kim. Not fair.
Posted by: kimgloticus | October 18, 2005 1:30 PM(#39 of 45)
Don't know if anybody has said this but does anybody else think Cassandra (before her cut and bleach) looked TOTALLY like a TAR6 Kendra clone?
Have a look if you dont believe me:
http://www.upn.com/shows/top_model5/models/cassandra.shtml
http://www.holliday-bentley.com/
Posted by: Em | October 18, 2005 5:00 PM(#40 of 45)
The last episode with Kim and Sarah in the bed was sick. Is Tyra Banks losing her "sick" mind. She says she helps girls with their self-esteem(her book) but what are young girls seeing when they see such freeky (sick) stuff like that. Tyra Banks should be shamed of her double standards and queer life.
Posted by: Linda Simmons | October 20, 2005 11:57 AM(#41 of 45)
People should protest the "freaky" behavior on "America's Top Model" by not watching. Many young girls usually watch, but mine will no longer be allowed. Unlike some I really care about values and what young girls are being exposed to.
Posted by: Linda Simmons | October 20, 2005 12:07 PM(#42 of 45)
This is probably going to show my age, but Lisa reminds me of Sandra Bernhard.. is it the nose ? the voice ? .. help
Posted by: summer | October 20, 2005 4:17 PM(#43 of 45)
Linda Simmons, do you have something against homesexuality? There was nothing "sick" about Kim and Sarah's (fleeting) relationship. It's bigotry that's sick!
Why should young girls not be allowed to see and understand freedom of sexuality and instead me exposed to homophobia? How is raising young children to be closed-minded, oppressive and haters not moralistic?
Posted by: SME | October 21, 2005 11:31 AM(#44 of 45)
Yea that is very close minded. If your girls are lesbians, they will be lesbians--no matter what they watch on TV!
Posted by: mam | October 21, 2005 12:02 PM(#45 of 45)