Some people are going to call me a wimp and a sellout because this week, I really started to like Jade. At first, I thought I couldn't stand her, but I really liked Lisa so much last year, so why can't I like Jade? Like Lisa she is older than most of the other girls, and like Lisa, she thinks that she has all of the moves to be a model, and like Lisa, she tries to find weaker opponents and point out their flaws in order to make herself feel good. One difference, of course was that Lisa could really work it. Lisa might have had an easier time with her makeover than Jade, but in the end, it comes down to the pictures.

Sure her hair was bad, and it seemed like Jade was finding a way to cover it with any spare piece of fabric available, but it's not like Rosie O’Donnell when she got that hella-dyke haircut so long ago. Jade has plenty of other good parts to work with, and it looked like she was starting to realize that. Jade said that she was not only going to step up the game, but step up the GIZ-ame, which is like ten times cooler than stepping up just the plain old game. Try it sometime for yourself. Walk into Starbucks and ask for a VIZ-enti HIZ-alf SIZ-oy latté. It's, like, wild and stuff. After you get your coffee, they usually hand you a Mac-10.

Being in the bottom two seemed to actually humble Jade a little bit, and she didn't even have it in her to bother Gina, not that Gina would care because she has found a new friend in Danielle. At first you may think that this is a strange pairing. Danielle, who is as country as ham hocks and collard greens, pairing up with Gina, who is as suburban as a white kid with an Eminem ringtone? Seems so crazy, but they both bonded because they seemed to be the only ones who wanted to do any cleaning, or perhaps because Danielle was the only person who didn't run away when Gina opened her mouth. I think Danielle feels sorry for Gina more than anything else. She sees that people are taking advantage of her and since Gina was so sheltered, she has a tough time dealing with conflict and adversity, something Danielle has no problem dealing with.

As much as Danielle wanted to be Gina's friend, she does have her limits. When they were done cleaning up the kitchen, Danielle said that she was going to take a shower, and Gina wanted to watch. I am not sure if she is in love with Danielle, or just wanted to know whether the carpet matched the curtains, but Danielle wasn't really down for any of that. Unfortunately for Danielle, as soon as she was nice to Gina, she would go wherever Danielle went like she had just been rescued from a burning building.

After you're done with the counter, will you do my back?

Now that the competition has picked up a little, it is time for the next part in our hopefuls' evolution to becoming a model. It's time to for them to learn how to walk the runway, and whenever it is time for a runway lesson, you can be sure that J. Alexander is not far behind. I always liked J. Alexander, but he is much better in small doses. He seems like he is trying too hard on the judging panel, but when it comes to the stomp, Miss J is the man to call. You know how like if the government has a position that is not quit cabinet level but still is a priority, they call that person a czar? Miss J. could be runway czar, or czar of catwalk, if you want to get all Marv Alberts and Mike Fratello.

I do love the time to critique the walk, but let's face it, the only reason that we care is because we would like to see somebody fall. I'm not talking about a little trip, or a bit of a goof, we want to see somebody tumble, especially if it is somebody that we don't like. That's why I loved the photo shoot where the girls were on roller skates from a couple of years back. As they practiced for Miss J, I think the girls actually walked OK. I think the person with the worst walk is Leslie. Some girls may not have a signature style, but Leslie's was the only one that was actually unattractive to watch. Even if she was naked, I would probably look away, because things weren't hanging they way they should.

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Posted by J-Unit on March 23, 2006 4:03 PM