All Thai'd Up - 
by J-Unit
America's Next Top Model is now down to the final six, and that means that it is time to send the girls overseas to another exotic location. Last week we got rid of Brooke, the busted model that nobody could fix. The only model that Tyra was able to fix was Joanie, who got a new set of porcelain veneers that fixed the only thing that was really holding her back, which was the jacked teeth. The judges have always put a priority on girls who have shown that they can improve, and Joanie sure has that ability. She's risen so far, I think we can call her the favorite. Then again, leaving Los Angeles is a whole different world, or continent as the case may be, so you never know what kind of surprises Tyra and crew are going to have waiting for us.
At the beginning of the episode, Jade, Nnenna, and Furonda are imagining themselves as the final three. That final thee being the winner, the runner-up, and Tyra. I thought that it was a little odd that Jade chose herself to be Tyra, but maybe that's because she was the oldest one there. Actually, I am surprised that Jade even invited Furonda and Nnenna to join. OK, I guess Nnenna makes sense since the two of them are BFF, although if I were Nnenna and Jade had brought that slack-jawed yokel she calls a boyfriend to my house, we would be enemies forever.
A lot of people got upset with Tyra for criticizing Danielle's teeth, but for the love of me, I wish that somebody would criticize Furonda. I freely admit that Furonda has been taking great pictures, and her personality isn't all that bad, but just watching her walk made me want to hire a private investigator and FedEx her whopper or at least some rice or something. Reading through my posts on various topics, you probably have realized that I am more of an ass man, but it is preferable that the boobs at least exist. All I'm asking for is an A-cup here folks, perhaps some evidence of puberty; I’m not looking for a miracle.
The first task this week was a visit to MPRM Public Relations where they got to sit and chat with Rachel McCalister. When these girls win, they are going to be the face of Cover Girl, and will get a lot of press; therefore, they should get a taste of what it's going to be like. Rachel McCalister, who is about as exciting as that half-empty bottle of water you've left lying on your desk all afternoon, is not quite up to the task, so they bring in George Wayne from Vanity Fair to do some fake interviews. Actually, Rachel did get Nnenna to squirm when she mentioned cheating on her boyfriend, but it was a complete accident, so I don't count it.
This task could have been very interesting if I hadn't seen it LAST WEEK. Yes, I know that the actor last week was not trying to be a reporter, but it was essentially the same task. The main difference is that in this setting, the girls didn't think they were in a job interview, so the answers were slightly different. Other than that, George was trying to make them flustered, and they were trying to keep their composure. On the intimidation scale, George was able to surpass Rachel McCalister and reach almost "Hello Kitty" levels. In other words, I was fairly bored. I mean, who asks a model to spell out a word? Did he think they were worried they might not make it into the cast of Akeelah and the Bee 2: The Silent K?
OK, who left Nolé Merron out in the sun again?
Still, I am going to give George some props for making fun of Jade and her stupid scarves, and also telling her that a little humility goes a long way. You know I have never really liked that saying. If a little humility goes a long way people need a lot of humility might not understand how much they have to change to stop sucking. And it's a little too ambiguous with what a lot of humility does. Does it go a long way? longer way? short way? Does it go a short way and then catch a bus or taxi for the rest of the trip? It just makes no sense.
Anyway, Nnenna won the challenge, which I thought was strange because George called her snobbish, but I guess it makes sense for a model to be hot and snobbish. Nnenna picked Jade to share in her prize, which was a special spa treatment, and as an added bonus, the girls who didn't win would be the ones that would be servicing them.
Although the PR thing was plenty of drama, Danielle was still struggling with her decision last week to leave the gap, and the way the judges reprimanded her for not getting it taken care of. There was a lot of gap vs. anti-gap talk in the comments last week, but it really comes down to one thing. The girl who wins gets a Cover Girl contract and I'm sorry, but the gap does not work for Cover Girl. That being said, you can understand where Danielle is coming from. The gap has been part of her and it took her a long time to get comfortable with it, but is that part of her identity enough to risk a potential modeling career?
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