Let's Get This Cycle Started! - 
by J-Unit
Something tells me that this season of ANTM is going to be really good. Yes, there are new graphics, a new set for the judging panel, and a lot of new hype for being on a new network, but I just have this feeling we'll be talking about this one for a long time. Then again, I guess we should all meet the potential divas before we get too excited. Thirty three hopefuls came to Los Angeles with a dream to become America's Next Top Model, and by the end of the two hour episode, twenty-two of them would have their hopes under the cruel Vivian Westwood-esque heel of reality modeling. I can't wait!
As we opened the show, Tyra talked about how being a supermodel has been one of the most amazing experiences of her life. She might have also started it out with saying, "Being a supermodel is an amazing experience, especially when you can't act or sing". Oh, I'm just kidding. You know I still love you Tyra. If you watch the WE network, you have probably seen Tyra and Lindsay Lohan star in "Life Size", perhaps my favorite "girl wants to resurrect her mother but accidentally makes a fashion doll come alive" movie of all time. And I am positive that you all have heard Tyra sing, and maybe even have song along with her, because none other than Miss Bankable herself performs the ANTM theme song.
Anyway, Tyra has decided to pass the modeling torch and help introduce fresh and fashionable faces to the industry. She then goes on to describe how so many of the finalists have gone on to great success, which I guess is sort of true. Kim Stolz, everyone's favorite Billy Joe Armstrong doppleganger/lesbian model is hosting a show for mtvU, and Eva "The Diva" Pigford actually models and is featured in the best "Is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a bitch?" movie in years, Crossover. Other than that, it has been mixed results. I think a lot of the girls are working, but we just haven't heard about them. I do know that Michelle, everyone's second-favorite lesbian model/dermatology nightmare, couldn't even make it as a model on Janice Dickinson's third-rate reality show.
We are all used to the girls peeing themselves over the sight of Tyra, but the girls got giddy when they saw Miss J. I guess they all realize that seeing Miss J means that they will be on television, at least for one episode. Miss J tells them that they will be taking pictures right away and they head to the airport parking structure for their first pictures. This is also our first chance to get a look at some of the models. They must have listened to some complaints about the aging of the girls in recent years because it looks like most of the girls are 18, 19, or 20.
First up is Jaeda, who is from Parkersburg, Iowa. She is pretty, and it looks like there was somebody out there who really didn't want to let her go, because she is sporting what looks to be a sizable hickey on her neck, or maybe she just burned herself with the curling iron. Then we get Becky, who is from Sierra Village, California. She is excited because she is from a small town, and this is an amazing opportunity. Her town is so small, I can't even find any information about it on Google. We also meet Evita, mother of not one, but two kids. Those two kids also happen to have the flu, and they also happen to be without their father, who is serving a tour in Iraq. But don't cry for her America, because the truth is she'll always love you. She kept her promise; so don't keep your distance. Hopefully there are enough Andrew Lloyd Webber lovers out there who will get that joke.
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