Tantastic Conspiracy? - 
by J-Unit
The folks at TVgasm would like to give a shout out to Charlize Theron, winner of the 2004 Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of a serial killer Aileen Wuornos in Monster. Now her win wasn't exactly an upset, and we all saw it coming even before the Golden Globes. That doesn't mean that we weren't happy for her, and most of us enjoyed her run through the Hollywood awards season. There was one thing that baffled us, however, and that was the way Ms. Theron was fine strutting around from red carpet to after party with a copper glow that screamed "Mystic tan".
The only thing potentially more baffling is that the people who are usually responsible for alerting the public to such phenomena had nary a peep to say about it. All of the usual fashion reviews gave the usual "glowing" coverage to Miss Theron that is afforded to most winners in the acting categories. 
And while we always save our best barbs for the runway walkers who are crazy, neglecting to mention Charlize's tan in coverage is like neglecting to mention Marcia Gay Harden was pregnant. How could you not notice?!
With the advent of Defamer, there is a good chance that such errors in coverage will be no more. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done, and in attempts to make up for their errors, it seems that anybody showing a picture or video clip of Charlize from the Oscars is doing some hue and saturation voodoo in order to make her a little less Tantastic, and to make their journalistic oversight a little less glowing. Some could say there is a conspiracy going on, and we are out to put an end to it.
Exhibit 1: Tantastic Charlize.
Our first examples of the conspiracy are the non doctored photos. Notice that Charlize, while still stunningly gorgeous, is so obviously orange. Also notice the color of her dress. We included a picture of Charlize with Renee Zelwigger to show you the opposite end of the spectrum as well as a picture from the screen actors guild awards to demonstrate this wasn't a one day anomaly.
 |  |  |  |
Exhibit 2: Altered Charlize.
Our second examples show Charlize in her altered state. Notice how her tan takes on a much more natural hue. Also notice that her Oscar award is now more golden than she is. These are the pictures that you find these days in magazines. Notice how her dress color has changed as well. Photoshop doesn't lie, and when you take some color out of the diva, you take some color out of her dress.
 |  |  |
Conclusions
Sure, sure you say. There are plenty of reasons why Miss Theron could have been so tan. She is, after all, from South Africa. Perhaps she was soaking up the sun back home, or in some tropical location? This could be true, except that Charlize was spending a lot of time in LA appearing at many awards shows. Unless she was flying back to LA every weekend, there is no way should would have possible been able to soak up enough sun to reach her tan level. As evidenced by this picture from the 2003 premier of Monster and this recent picture from the AFI Tribute to Meryl Streep, it seems her melanin ain't as zealous as we are led to believe. The only thing we have left is a fake bake trail all over Hollywood.
Until next time, this is your friendly TVgasm conspiracy theorist, signing off.
| Discuss In Our Forums