The Fantastic Four - 
by B-side
Well, after hours of nervousness that sent Richard scouring through his GIGANTIC wallet (ah, hence the "hip wings" -- it's starting to make sense now), the teams dressed up all purdy and headed down to the Elimination Room to find their intrepid (and underdressed) leader, Brian McFayden. Alleged irony hung thick in the air as Brian noted that Chuck and Caitilin were facing off against the very team they had sent to the Elimination Room three times.
"Isn't this ironic?" McFayden asked.
"Don't you think?" replied Mindi. Wait... did Mindi just make an Alanis Morissette reference? Hmmm... I might have to hate her now. No, not because she thought she was being clever. But because I just totally went to the iTunes store to see if other songs from Jagged Little Pill would be appropriate for Beauty and the Geek jokes. Amazingly, nearly all the tracks are ripe for punnage ("You Oughta Know," "You Learn," "All I Really Want" etc.) Sadly, had I known this, I would have laced the whole recap with Alanis puns, just as an experiment. Oh well. I'm sure I'll be FORGIVEN! Ha! I just did it! One might say that was PERFECT. Oh, I am on fire. I should go tell MARY JANE. Eh, it's over now.
"I'm pretty."Okay, so let's get right into the meat of this final challenge. The way this was going to work was that Brian was going to ask each person questions about his or her partner. The team with the most correct answers would win the big prize. Oh great. Who would have thought this whole transformation process would come down to stupid trivia... AGAIN.
Chuck and Caitilin were up first, and they immediately hit a bump in the road. Brian asked Caitilin where Chuck was born, and she replied "Sioux Falls, Iowa." (Not to be confused with Sioux Falls, South Dakota). The correct answer: Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, not even close. I guess that'll happen when you MAKE UP A GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION.
Later, Chuck got tripped up on the same question, incorrectly saying his partner was born in Omaha, Nebraska. Caitilin tried to make him feel better as she chirped, "Good try, you were close!" Yeah, at least your city actually existed, Chuck.
As for the rest of the questions, the plucky team answered them all correctly. Normally you'd think that would be boring, but I was highly entertained watching Brian McFayden's various reactions, which varied nonsensically from giddy glee to sneering animosity. Eventually, by the last question, he simply busted out in giggles, which had me wondering whether or not he'd been subject to some strange Ashton Kutcher punking.
Once our Nordic-in-looks, Irish-in-name host calmed down, he brought in Richard and Mindi for their questioning. "Let's play, shall we?" LET'S!
Off the bat, Mindi flubbed her first question -- the old "Where was your partner born?" trick. Next question please.
"What country did Mindi visit to perform at the World's Fair?" Wait, what? Mindi performed at the World's Fair? What the? Can we get an explanation? You can't just throw that out there, Brian. Explain. EXPLAIN!
Well, we didn't get an explanation, and even worse, Richard had the wrong answer, which meant he and Mindi were perilously close to flunking out and never swapping spit as we had hoped. "You get this next question wrong, Chuck and Caitilin will walk out of here with $250,000," said Brian happily. Technically, Mindi and Richard could get any question wrong and lose. It didn't have to be that very next one. Wow, I really sound like Chuck right now. I'll just shut up and think of more Alanis puns...
Speaking of Chuck, he looked about ready to shit himself. He had that faux-grin on his face -- you know, the kind that seemed to say, "I'm about two seconds away from a bloody nose." His anxiety stemmed from the fact that Richard and Mindi were launching an amazing comeback. Suddenly, it was 8 to 5. Then 8 to 6. 8 to 7. And... tiebreaker! Woohooo! Extra innings! OT!
Okay, so sudden death. Brian asked the girls questions which they both got right. Now it was time for the guys. Brian asked each Geek what his partner's middle name was. Chuck managed to correctly answer "Assimo" or something that sounded like that. Honestly, I really don't know what's going on with Caitilin's names. As for Richard, well, he didn't fare as well. He guessed that Mindi's middle name was "Jackie," and, well, any hope we had for that make-out session pretty much went down the tubes at that point. Chuck and Caitilin won the grand prize, causing Brian to announce, "You are no longer the Beauty and the Geek!" Huh? All season long the promos have been asking us "who will be crowned Beauty and the Geek?" WTF, Brian McFayden? I hope Serena Altschul comes out from wherever she's been hiding and BEATS YOU.
Ah yes. It was all over. As the show wrapped up, we had some perfunctory interviews with the finalists as they all patted themselves on the back for growing so much. "When I first met Richard, he was the nerd of the nerds," said Mindi. Yes. And now he's only the nerd of... nerds still. Okay, so not everyone grew the same amount, but hey, kudos to Ashton Kutcher for putting together a fine social experiment. Can't wait to see the reunion show next week.
What did you think of the finale? Were you happy with who won?
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Comments
Good call on Richard's wallet/briefcase. I was watching and wondering if he was actually stuffing money into one of Mindi's black stillettos.
Posted by: HicksPub | July 7, 2005 5:48 AM(#1 of 19)
I love this show... by the way, did anyone catch the new Punk'd this week? Richard was on it-- he walked in VIP style to Allen Iverson's party as Jermaine O'Neal was forced to wait on the sidelines... classic
Posted by: AliCake | July 7, 2005 8:41 AM(#2 of 19)
I KELLIED this show! Great social experiment. Glad Chuck/Cait won only because Richard did not really change that much. For such a geek he has very little insight into himself. At least Chuck showed some insight and growth. Besides, I loved his scrungy look when they previewed next week's reunion! He's becoming more beauty and less geek.
Can't wait to see next season.
Posted by: graceintherace | July 7, 2005 9:14 AM(#3 of 19)
I was very pleased with this show. It didn't even matter who won...it was just entertaining.
But B-side, I thought for sure you'd have some choice screen shots of Richard when he was talking about beating Chuck. He had the facial expressions, the hand gestures....come on! My sister even turned to me last night and said, "Oh TV Gasm will have great screen shots of this!"
Posted by: Nicole | July 7, 2005 9:43 AM(#4 of 19)
Did you notice that Richard referred to Brian as "The host" Clearly he doesn't watch MTV. No wonder he didn't know who the Miz was.
Posted by: mellymel | July 7, 2005 9:47 AM(#5 of 19)
I wish there would have been some way for Mindi to win...she was always my favorite.
B-Side...I did get a chuckle when she reference Alanis cause Mr. Ex-VJ didn't seem to get it
Posted by: Jen | July 7, 2005 10:01 AM(#6 of 19)
I enjoyed the show for what it was, but I'm pretty much over it...
Mellymel...I thought it was hysterical when Richard called Brian "the host" true classic geek moment...
Posted by: smithie | July 7, 2005 11:49 AM(#7 of 19)
I liked the show, it was kinda fun.
But really, could it be possible that the winners could get together? They really seem to compliment each other.
Posted by: debbie | July 7, 2005 12:35 PM(#8 of 19)
If Richard and Chuch had a baby, it would look like Jared Fogle.
Posted by: christa | July 7, 2005 12:47 PM(#9 of 19)
first of all, I really hope that J-Unit and B-side are writers for a living....because you both crack me up so much. I always look forward to coming on here to see what you guys have to say. So very, very clever.
Second, I'm glad Richard didn't win. Sorry, but he's too annoying for words. Good show, though. I'm looking forward to next week as well.
Posted by: Christy | July 7, 2005 2:37 PM(#10 of 19)
Mindy really deserved to win...she single-handedly brought her and Richard out of all three elimination rooms. (or elimination chambers, as Rich says)
Caitilin is so unnecessarily sappy. Honestly, there was no reason to cry that much every week.
Good call on Scarlett turning psycho-bitch last week. She had no use for Chuck anymore since he wouldn't be able to save her from the elimination room this time.
I don't know if anyone else agrees wih me here but by the finale of this show I downright HATED Chuck and was very much rooting against him. That pompous prick washing his hands as if going into surgery when cooking with Cait...we get it Chuck, you want to be a doctor! Enough with the condescending "diagnosis" of Richard's psyche and your SAT-word pretentious commentary on every challenge already!! Honestly I think Richard became a much more social and nice person than Chuck did by the end of the show. But it comforts me to know that, judging by his experience with "Scar", he so easily is going to be sucked dry of all money by his future manipulative trophy wife.
Posted by: Molly | July 7, 2005 5:35 PM(#11 of 19)
Chuck sucked, but Richard sucked more. Out of all the people on the show, Richard was the one that looked like he was on an audition. It was a reality show, but he really didn't take it seriously. Not everybody was in it for the experience, and some looked like they were just in it for the money, but Richard just did his schtick week in and week out. Surprise, surprise, he shows up in Los Angeles, and ends up on Punk'd.
My winning dream team would have been Mindi and Joe Hanson.
Posted by: J-Unit | July 7, 2005 6:37 PM(#12 of 19)
I watched StripSearch tonight. It was definitely Lauren at the bachelorette party and there was another big-toothed blonde with her. I wonder if she has a sister.
I don't think there was much footage that wasn't already in the previews last week, unfortunately. She didn't speak, but at one point I think she talked on her cell phone. It was very sneaky of her. I'm now going to keep an eye out for her in the background of every television program that I watch.
Posted by: burka | July 7, 2005 8:27 PM(#13 of 19)
Mindi and Joe Hanson... Priceless!
Posted by: Lyndsay | July 8, 2005 6:11 AM(#14 of 19)
Was it me, or was there a big ol' spot of blood on Chuck's shirt during the final elimination quiz? Did he get an unpublicized bloody nose and get some ON HIS SHIRT? Ewwwwwww......
I don't think either guy made a huge breakthrough, no. Both women, though, seemed to allow themselves to break out of the bimbo mold...though I suspect they're both pretty smart chicks to begin with. And Mindi's a saint for having chosen Richard to begin with. She totally should have won.
Yay, to the reunion show next week!!
Posted by: Jess | July 8, 2005 8:40 AM(#15 of 19)
Mindi should have ripped off caitilin's top and made out with her. Really.
Posted by: JohnnyRingo | July 9, 2005 2:41 AM(#16 of 19)
After the episode it had text on the screen detailing how the first tie-breaker question was edited out? dunno if i'm allowed to ask this here, but does anyone know why? dosen't have to be specific, but just a general idea? ie it was not exciting? or inapproprate?
Posted by: Joe | July 9, 2005 11:15 PM(#17 of 19)
Hey Jess, not only did Chuck's shirt have blood on it, but the stains moved back and forth from the right side of his shirt to the left as the show went on...FREAKY !!!
I love Mindi and agree with you that she is a saint ( or maybe she's the one on Ritalin ! )
Posted by: chris | July 11, 2005 7:32 AM(#18 of 19)
I WAS HOPING RICH AND MINDI WOULD WIN SO WE COULD SEE WHAT RICHARD WOULD DO WHEN MINDI MAD OUT WITH HIM
Posted by: EMILY | July 13, 2005 6:52 AM(#19 of 19)