A Geek By Any Other Name... - 
by copygodd
Chris comes out next, and shows the beauties a sample from his line of custom greeting cards. The one he shares is meant for a cheating girlfriend. Outside: "I hope you're happy." Inside: "Cuz you ruined my life, you bitch." I like Chris' moxie. And Chris likes his chances, as he tells the camera, "A girl cannot meet every day a guy who makes his own greeting cards, his own T-shirts and has great hair." Yeah, especially since I'm no longer available. My wife is a lucky woman indeed. Amanda picks Chris.
Josh is really nervous, but agrees to go next. While funny, he's channeling Woody Allen a bit too much for my taste. Maybe he'd calm down a bit if one of the women were a teen-aged Korean girl. Josh likens his introduction to the Beauties as facing a "sexual firing squad," and later tells them he feels like "Howard Carter discovering King Tut's tomb," and that he has "butterflies in his stomach that seem to be puking." I can't believe the girls didn't come to blows over who'd get this keeper. Cher decides to pick Josh, as she feels she can teach him to be "less anxious, less nervous and not wear terry cloth on a hot summer day." Josh later tells us how he excited he was to be picked by Cher. "For someone who looks like that to pick someone who looks like me, that was a boost of confidence. And a boost of anxiety. I mean, there were a lot of boosts going on there." And he hasn't even mentioned the one in his pants!
"Sweet."
To decide who gets Joe, the two remaining girls opt for a game of "Rock, Paper Scissors." Only Sarah doesn't know how to play, thinking that "rock" crushes "paper". That means Sarah is stuck with Wes, whom she thinks is the least geeky of the bunch. Of course, that's like saying Simon Cowell has the smallest breasts of the American Idol judges.
Next we get a quick montage of the Beauties and Geeks getting settled in their new digs. Thais is dumbfounded to learn Tyson's brought five extra Rubik's Cubes with him, "just in case." In case of what? A puzzle emergency? Thais vows to break Tyson of his Rubik's Cube obsession.
Jennipher can't believe Ankur only has three pair of shoes. She's brought fifteen pair! Ankur can't understand what the big deal is: "I have a pair of sandals for when I don't want to wear shoes, and shoes for when I do." Jennipher asks what color his shoes are. "Uhm, sneaker-colored?" is Ankur's genius-answer. Yeah, I can totally see why this guy didn't want to get paired with a moron.
After a quick round of speed chess, it's time to get in the hot tub. Amazingly, none of the guys are big hot tub fans. Josh explains his reluctance: "I've never been someone who can be around a hot tub. Can't we put down a children's pool first, and maybe start there and then move to the hot tub?" I've read that five times, and it still doesn't make any sense.
Meanwhile, Chris won't even come downstairs to hang out near the hot tub. Why? Because he's "the most cut guy of all of them." He's been lifting for six months, he tells us while posing in front of the mirror, "and I didn't want anyone to look at me and say 'he's pretty cut' or 'he has a wide back'." Or a fat head.
"Hear me now and believe me later."
Later, Jennipher decides it's time for Ankur's unibrow to go the way of the dodo. Unfortunately, Ankur is a huge dodo fan and won't let her touch it. "It's not like they wanted to shape it into something interesting or exciting," he says. Like a dodo. "They just wanted to make it look like what good eyebrows look like." Which is totally unlike a dodo! You go, Ankur!
At bedtime, things get a little interesting. If you define "interesting" as "awkward." Turns out Brittany's never slept in the same house as a man before, let alone the same room. Well, except for her dad. Josh, meanwhile, is so freaked out by sleeping in the same room as the "beautiful creature" he's been teamed with that he's decided to sleep in the closet. Yes, he actually goes in the closet rather than sleep with a girl. I'm sure there's another good Hugh Jackman joke in there somewhere.
Morning brings its own form of weirdness, as the Beauties and the Geeks parade around in various states of undress. The Beauties seem to spend a lot time with the hairdryers, while the guys hit the floss.
The breakfast table conversation takes a serious turn when the topic turns to social situations. Josh says that nobody likes the shy guy in the corner. Nor, evidently, are they particularly fond of the the lonely man there on the corner. What he's waiting for, I don't know. But he waits, every day now. He's just waiting for something to show. Oh.
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