No Room at the Inn. - 
by copygodd
Regardless, it got me to thinking about how my recaps for this show and The Bachelor are a real-life example of BATG's premise, with my Bachelor recaps being the Beauties and these recaps being the Geeks. Like the Beauties, people love the Bachelor recaps; and like the Geeks, everyone ignores these. Of course, that might have a lot to do with the show being on at the same time as Dancing with the Stars. If you don't watch this show, how can you know what the hell I'm writing about? Still, as you've no doubt noticed, I've never let my lack of familiarity with a show keep me from making fun of it, so why should you?
Did I mention I have a shot of a beer spokesmodel's ass?
Both the Beauties and the Geeks are shocked and awed to learn that Brandon and Amanda were eliminated last week. I don't know why they were so surprised, though; after all, Chris told them he'd win if they sent him to the Elimination Chamber. And we all know a guy who wears a handmade "I Put the Stud in Study" t-shirt doesn't lie. Speaking of which, here's the first design in my new line of Chris-inspired t-shirts.
Sensing the true greatness that is Chris, Cher apologizes to both he and Tristin for saying she hoped they would lose. Even though she really meant it. Hmm, talking out of both sides of her bare ass. Looks like the experience Cher gained in last week's Political Debate challenges is already paying off.
Someone's been watching What Not To Wear.
Host Mike Richards summons the teams to the library, where he explains this week's challenges. Both groups look at a room differently, he says. The girls look at the décor, while the guys check out the type of TV or video console. "Or, most importantly, how many gigahertz the computer runs at and whether it has a dual processor." You know, Host Mike Richards seems a little too comfortable rattling off lines like that. I'm wondering if he isn't a closet geek himself. Or maybe just closeted.
This week, the Beauties are going to teach the Geeks about interior decorating, while the Geeks will teach the Beauties how to build a computer. And by build, of course, I mean plug it in. "Hopefully after this challenge," Host Mike Richards says, "the ladies will know all about Windows and desktops, while guys will know all about windows and desktops." Get it? I hate Host Mike Richards.
Right off the bat, Jennipher says she's nervous about the challenge, because Ankur has only designed "robots and mechanical-type things." I don't see the problem, Jen. Just have him design a robot that can decorate a room. Duh. Problem solved. Meanwhile, Danielle tells us she "doesn't like computers. Not my thing. Don't like to download." Inputting, on the other hand… Her partner, DungeonMasterKarl, gets all excited telling us about how he helped Danielle learn the difference between male and female connectors. "It's hard to put something somewhere where it's not going to fit," he says. "A male connector has got the pins in it sticking out, kind of like, hehheh, you know, like I guess uh, a male. Or something."
I lurv this ad.
Brittany is trying to help Joe learn about decorating by describing the job she's done in her apartment. Seems she's spray-painted the shortened version "Britt" above her bed in gold paint. Good thing her name's not Virginia. Josh is fascinated by the concept of putting shades and sconces on lamps. "So no bare bulbs?" he asks Cher, incredulously. Although with the crappy audio signal I get from this channel, it sounds like he asked "So no bare balls?" which is infinitely funnier, so I'm sticking with that.
Host Mike Richards says it's time for the guys to take an overnight field trip. As the guys are leaving, one of the girls (I didn't catch who) says "now the producers can bring in the beautiful men." Unfortunately, Josh was still standing in the doorway when she said it. Jen tries to cover and says the beautiful men just left, but it's too little too late. Any hopes Josh had of ever truly being accepted by these women were just kicked in the 'nads. Welcome back to reality, Josh. Here's some ice for the 'nads.
Josh's throbbing 'nads aside, here's how this challenge works: Each guy gets $1500 to spend at Bed Bath and Beyond. "Your job is to pick out everything you need to stylishly decorate a bedroom," Host Mike Richards tells them. Tomorrow, the ladies will be judging the rooms, without knowing who did the decorating. The Geek with the most votes wins the challenge. Chris tells us he knows more about the mating habits of the beluga whale than he does interior decorating. And he knows nothing about the mating habits of the beluga whale. Although the fact that he knew there was even such a thing as a beluga whale should count for something, shouldn't it? That gives me an idea for a new Chris shirt: I put the sperm in sperm whale.
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