Innocence Lost - 
by copygodd
Regardless of how dull the last few weeks have been, however, overall the show was still a success. Be they Beauty or Geek, everyone who stayed in the house for this "social experiment" has said they learned something about themselves. And even though I fall in neither category--too male to be a Beauty, too socially adjusted to be a Geek--and only recapped this show, I too have learned a deeper truth about myself, and my relationship to my fellow man: I'm good at making fun of people. And, more important, I'm proud of the fact that I'm good at it. My mom was right: I am an asshole.
This week's show starts off with a quick recap of the season's highs and lows. After blowing through this, we catch Joe and Brittany heading up the stairs to meet Josh and Cher. Securing their place in the finals by eliminating Jennipher and Ankur has made Brittany "tingly all over". Who knew that pummeling her friends would be such an aphrodisiac? Joe says he knows Josh and Cher did not want them to win, because they feel he and Brittany are the strongest competitors. And he's right. Josh is so nervous about who won he's physically shaking. The last thing he wants is a level playing field. The next-to-last thing he wants is another swirlie from Cher.
When Joe and Brittany walk through the door, there's a lot of backslapping, then a really awkward silence after Joe mentions he needs to change because his brown shoes don't match his black shirt. I'm not sure if the awkwardness stems from his fashion faux pas, or the fact that he and Josh have finally assumed the roles they were born to play: DeNiro verus Pacino in Heat. (I'll let you decide who's who.)
"I am a golden god!"
Later, the teams gather down at the hot tub. And finally, Josh is ready to get in. Josh tells us that unlike the song, his body is most definitely not a wonderland. In fact, he considers it to be much more like a carnival freak show. And I'm inclined to agree, as without a shirt, poor Josh looks like a dirty Q-Tip. Still, he disrobes and jumps in. On the one hand, it's good to see Josh conquer his fears of showing his body to other people. On the other hand, we were the people he showed it to.
Since there are only two teams left, there's no need for a competition this week. Instead, Host Mike Richards tells the remaining contestants their study materials are sitting right next to them. In other words, they need to study their partners. Fortunately for them, Josh and Joe have been studying their partners since Day One. Joe feels it's not luck that the two best teams have made it to the finals. "If there's ever a time the giants need to meet, it's in the finals," he says. Instead of showing their weaknesses, this week everyone gets to show their partners something they're actually good at. Why do I get the feeling this is Joe's special talent?
Josh takes Cher fly fishing, which is something I never expected him to do. Of course, I never expected him to know how big of a penis Wes has either, so what do I know. When he's fly fishing, Josh says he gets totally lost in the moment, and his mind goes blank. Just like Cher! Speaking of which, despite the sport's lack of fashion, our favorite beer spokesmodel is trying to make her outfit cuter, which amuses Josh. As he says, the fish don't go after something that's cute. They go after something that looks like a fly. If only Josh were fishing with Jeff Goldblum. Cher loses a few lures, tangles her line, doesn’t catch anything and smacks Josh in the face a couple of times, so overall it was a good day. The best thing about this segment, however, is the Hee Haw music the producers pick to play under the segment. I kept expecting Grandpa Jones to pop up and tell us what's for supper.
Meanwhile, Joe decides he's going to teach Brittany how to play chess. And no, he wasn't high on peyote at the time. He takes Brittany to the beach where there's a giant chess board set up. Joe gets really animated as he tries to teach his Beauty the intricacies of the game, even going so far as to act out the King running from the other pieces. Brittany says it sounds just like TicTacToe. Still, she does seem to pick up the basics pretty well, so maybe there's something to Joe's teaching methods after all. When he thinks she's learned all she can, he decides to show off a little and challenges a local master to a game of speed chess. Brittany says they were playing so fast, it gave her a headache. After Joe wins, she says to know she shared a room with a master chess player was pretty cool. Way cooler than when she thought she was just sharing it with a masturbator.
Superstar!
Next, Brittany gets to show Joe something she's good at, and takes him ice skating. Joe tries to be careful, as he's afraid of falling and looking silly. And when he sees this footage, he's going to know he failed. While Brittany isn't too bad of a skater, she's certainly no Todd Bridges.
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