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Innocence Lost - TVgasm

by copygodd

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Finally, we get to watch Cher teach Josh how to make sushi. For some reason, the producers play a bit of Hee Haw-inspired Japanese music under their segment that makes me wonder what Mr. Shake Hands Man and Mr. Banzai are up to these days. (Place your bets NOW!) Of course, Josh wants to put Matzah balls in his soup and ends up saying if they win, he and Cher should take the money and open the Beauty and the Geek Sushi House.

After the break, we're treated another flashback segment, but since it's accompanied by that godawful James Blunt You're Beautiful song, I fast-forwarded through it. Just as I always do every time the new Verizon spot with the chick dancing to My Humps comes on. I don't understand why radio stations will play a song about Fergie's lovely lady humps while totally ignoring the little dittie I wrote about my lovely lumpy testes. Radio is so sexist.

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"You mean this doesn't happen to all the guys?"

Time to prepare for the final Elimination Room. Since last year's challenge involved knowing trivia about your partner, the teams are asking each other questions about their personal lives, likes and dislikes. Joe says the finals are the classic battle between good and evil, with he and Brittany representing the good and Josh and Cher representing evil. "It's a clear-cut case of Star Wars," he says. "It's Darth Vader versus Luke. And all I want to say is may the force be with us." I'm really surprised it took until the final episode for someone to make a Star Wars analogy, as Ankur was clearly a dwarf Wookie. Or at the very least a plushie.

Host Mike Richards calls the two teams down to the Elimination Room. He tells the teams that while they may think they know how the challenge is going to work, there's a twist. Wow, a twist. What are the odds… Basically, instead of being asked questions about each other, the contestants have to guess how their partners think. Each player will be asked three random questions while their partners are sequestered across the hall. Then they have to match the answers given by their partners. It sounds confusing, until I realized it's really just like The Newlywed Game. Man, I hope Host Mike Richards asks Cher the strangest place she's ever made whoopee. "That would be up the butt, Mike."

The Beauties are sequestered first. Joe says his most embarrassing moment of the show was being naked in the poker challenge. Josh says the first word that popped into his head when he saw Cher was "nauseous". Joe says if he could date any contestant in the mansion, it would be Amanda. Josh is asked the one secret that only he and Cher would know. His answer? "How big of a penis Wes has." I hope Josh wins, just for that answer alone. Joe says he learned the most from the photo shoot challenge. Finally, Josh says his greatest fear is being in the car with an attractive woman. Which is not dissimilar to the fear I have of watching Riding in Cars with Boys.
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The Beauties come back in and promptly miss every single question. Which means they're either really stupid, or they don't care about the Geeks nearly as much as the Geeks care about them. For the record, my money's on really stupid.

Next, the Geeks are sequestered while the Beauties are asked three random questions. Brittany says the biggest difference in Joe from when he arrived is his short hair. Cher says if she could do any job in the world, she'd be a doctor. Brittany learned the most from the map challenge. Cher's biggest fear is failure. If she could pick one thing to do differently during her time in the mansion, Brittany says she'd get up and work out more. Finally, Cher says if she could pick one other player to be her partner, it'd be Wes. I know the producers said the questions are random, but if I were Joe and Brittany, I'd call "Shenanigans!" on that one. I mean, she was fucking the dude. It's not like she's going to say she'd pick Ankur. Unless she was doing him on the side, too.

Joe and Josh both get their first questions right, miss their second ones, then get their third ones. Although the producers did try to psyche us out about Josh's last question with some fake editing before and after the break. The teams are all tied up, so it looks like we're heading to Overtime! For the tie-breaker, the Geeks are sequestered and the Beauties are asked the same question: Of all the players in the mansion, who doesn't know how big Wes' penis is? Actually, they're asked who's changed the most. Cher and Brittany both say Josh, and Joe and Josh both say Josh. That means it's time for Double Overtime!


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