Oh, about that free booze. It turns out there wasn't so much of that either. Upon entering the party, I head straight for one of the bars. I took a quick look behind the bartender to see what kind of hardware he was packing. I wasn't expecting to see any Glenlivet or Tullamore Dew, but a little Absolut and some Jack never hurt anybody. The bartender saw my quizzical, almost shocked expression, and told me there were no spirits available. Just beer, wine, soda, and juice. This was going to be a long night, and I didn't know how much I could take with a sobriety halo hanging over my head. Then again, the lack of booze meant there was less of a chance of any agents showing up to the party. As I told a former Big Brother cast member later in the night, I should have brought a flask.

As I hit the buffet, I noticed the music. I was wondering if somebody had actually been paid to do the music, or if they just pooled a bunch of CDs left around the set and put them in a big changer. It started with a strange smooth jazz cover of A Tribe Called Quest's Banita Applebaum, and just got worse from there. And the deviled eggs were overdone.

I didn't spend my time at the party actually trying to meet anybody. Half of them are going to end up trawling around Los Angeles for the foreseeable future anyway. Plus, I felt kind of bad after spending so much time trashing these people all summer. I didn't want to jeopardize any cheap shots I may take in future articles by investigating the actual off-screen personalities of these people.

On that note, I am going to get my Jase comments out of the way. Some of you may have wondered if Jase accidentally got in the way of the wrong makeup person before he went on air for the finale. Well, that same makeup person arrived before the wrap party because Jase had those ultra strange eyebrows going again, looking like he was just coming back from an audition of Victor/Victoria. He had a jacket on, but it was clearly hiding YASS (yet another sleeveless shirt). Jase was holding hands with Holly most of the evening, and they had another young brunette in tow. They both love their Juicy Couture.

Outside of Drew, Nakomis and Will were the most popular of the houseguests. Lots of people came up to them and commented on how they played a great game. It looked like Will came alone, but Nakomis brought her boyfriend, and they both seemed to enjoy the attention from the fans. Will had a red jacket over some vintage denim and some cowboy boots. He is obviously in love with his five o'clock shadow, not unlike this one waitress I know. One of Nakomis's fans even showed up with a mohawk and said he was her inspiration. I know what you are thinking, and yes, he was a huge douchebag.

If there was anybody who really didn't need an open bar, it was Karen. She was feeling a little tipsy, but hadn't quite reached the "I'll show you my tits for five dollars" level. I hadn't noticed if Larry had made the trip. Why do I get the feeling there is going to be a home movie of them available in the near future?

The night served as sort of a fond fairwell to the age of sleeveless shirts. Scott and Michael wore their with pride. Scott topped his with a mechanic's hat (at least he had the good sense to know VonDutch isn't what it once was), and Michael had his Cowboy hat on. I overheard a few conversations that Michael had with some fans, and no, there are no plans for any lengthy trips to an orthodontist for him, or gastric bypass for anybody else. But that doesn't mean there isn't a Lane Bryant in Oklahoma ready to roll out the red carpet.

Marvin still wears that choker and still keeps that little cigar unlit in his mouth. The lack of any real opportunities outside of Big Brother are going to hit this guy the hardest, I believe. Still, if he spent enough time in LA pursuing an acting career there are plenty of people who will laugh him out of an audition if he brings either the cigar or the choker with him.

Sappy as it sounds, Diane and Drew are a cute couple. Diane, for her part, is genuinely smitten. There is almost zero chance that Diane and her twin, or Drew and his twin spend any length of time back in the midwest. They are going to be in LA looking to do modeling for some time.

Later on in the evening, more people strolled in. People were actually congratulating Alison for her time on the Amazing Race. Dana has progressed from buzzard crotch to buzzard ass in terms of attractiveness. Marcellas showed up late, probably so he wouldn't upstage the current cast. He is still very popular with the fans. Lisa is gorgeous and fills a pair of denim like few people can.

Posted by J-Unit on September 24, 2004 11:57 AM