The First Cut is the Deepest - 
by J-Unit
But with all of this mixing between the sexes, you have to watch out that Eric might be on your case. I'm sorry, but I officially hate Eric, and I officially feel sorry for his wife. Maybe it is just his paranoid nature, maybe it is his steroid withdrawal, but why does he throw a fit whenever anybody even thinks about talking with another girl? He brought the point up that Michael might be getting too close, and Kaysar wondered if he should say something, but Eric warned him not to. I am sure that you have all noticed that despite Eric complaining about how much Rachel schemes and how much influence she has in the house, up to this point, Eric is the most bullyish, and has perhaps more influence than anybody else.
I also hate Eric's constant look of constipation
Kaysar, however, is a little jumpy about the situation and tells Michael, even though Eric basically told him not to. There you go again Kaysar, exercising your free will! How dare you! So, Kaysar gives Michael the warning, telling him that people are noticing, but with instructions just to think about it and not get too crazy. This, of course, sends Michael to ask who has a problem with him getting close to Jennifer. I don't know if Michael thought he was smart enough to pull it off, but it is simply great when people think they are smart enough to take somebody's advice they were given in confidence and confront somebody with the knowledge they weren't supposed to have. And it's awesome that this type of shit is happening in the first episode.
Michael goes to Eric, who immediately knows who told him. Eric goes to Kaysar, saying that he knows that he told Michael. Finally, Kaysar goes to Michael, asking him why he went up to Eric when he told him not to! Eric also begins to whine because he is upset that Kaysar seems to have forgotten the original Neo-Horsemen alliance that they made the first couple of days. Again, Eric is a complete hypocrite, since he has already informed us that he has made a deal with Ivette about the final two. Now, we know that is a lie because both have a friend in the house, but I can tell I am already going to be sick of how Eric is going to twist all logic to make himself look infallible in all the ways that he is a two-faced sun of a bitch. And with the end of that sequence we get our new emphasis drum. In case you didn't notice that there is tension in the room, CBS producers are ready to zoom on all the players involved one by one, and let you know.
It's now time for Julie to work the room a little bit. Her interviews are always marvelous because she has a captive audience, and it is always fun to see how she handles glitches, like people talking over their alloted time. First question is to Ivette, and she is asked what she thinks of the PB&J. After Ivette rambles on a little bit about how she feels, Chenbot gives a nice little "Our plan is working" (I just said that in a Darth Vader voice), and we move on. She asks Janelle who has the best sense of humor in the house. Janelle says "probably Howie" and after Howie says thanks, there is this awkward silence. One-thousand one. Uh oh. One-thousand two. Now I'm hysterical. One-thousand three. Wait, is something really wrong? One-Thousand four. Julie finally chimes in, saying "I probably would have to agree." But maybe my description isn't good enough, so here's the video:
Click on Janelle to play.
Julie had a similar situation later on, when she talked about the Summer of Secrets and the house guests sort of stood sat in their chairs. Maybe it isn't Julie's fault after all, maybe these people are just boring. Something off camera gets them to respond, but Julie is clearly shaken. She fumbles another line before we go to commercial. As an aside, Howie is now wearing the Alicia Keyes hat Kaysar sported last week. If you see any guy wearing that hat at any point this summer, scald them with some coffee or something, because you know that they just suck.
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