The First Cut is the Deepest - 
by J-Unit
When we get back, it was the time that a lot of us have been waiting for, the revelation of the pairings. Now, it wasn't all that hard to figure out a lot of them because so many people happened to be from the same town, but it was nice to finally see who the pair were, and some were so obvious:
- Beau and Ivette. Hooray for originality Big Brother!
- Kaysar and Michael. Yes, they are from Orange County, but did anybody not figure they were neighbors? They live close to each other, which means it's easier to buy all that gel they both love to use in their hair in bulk.
- Eric and Maggie. He saves people from a disaster, and she heals their wounds. Awww.
- Janelle and Ashley. Met while at Johns Hopkins - after surgery. If you like Silence of the Lambs you know what I mean.
- Rachel and Howie. Umm, I got nothing
- James and Sarah. Now we know why he lied about his job. She's a retail manager and he is in loss prevention (rent-a-cop). You think she got him the job? I bet she also makes him dress up in leather and wear a gag.
- April and Jennifer. Sorority sisters, although clearly they met during April's 20-year reunion, and they also had the same plastic surgeon.
While the revelation of the teams wasn't a surprise to everyone, especially people who have been following the live feeds, what was a surprise is just how much each pair thought that they were the big twist. They all talked about trying to hide the facts from each other, but soon people began to notice that they weren't the only ones that might be paired up with somebody. I am sure this was something CBS was counting on, but I am not sure if they thought it would happen this soon.
They're here, they're queer, get used to it!
When we got back to the live action, it was time for Julie to do her customary HOH interview. She asked Rachel exactly how hard was it to pretend that she didn't know Howie. I have to admit, they are both doing a pretty good job at keeping the secret, and Rachel said it was because she hadn't seen Howie in a couple of years. I think it is another reason. Pretend you were Rachel, if you ever had to be seen out in public with somebody like Howie, wouldn't you practice pretending like you didn't know him? I say she has an unfair advantage. The rest of the time Rachel spent congratulating herself on how awesome she was as the first HOH and how everything she did rocked. If Rachel lasts a long time in the house, especially if she has any influence, you know she is going to stick around Los Angeles and try to act.
The last montage before the eviction (shit, I almost forgot that it was even supposed to happen!) was the plight of James and Sarah. Two people so in love, that are faced with the great challenge of having to pretend they are not a couple. It seemed like they might be doing a decent job, but I wish they would try and pretend that they weren't the most boring people on the planet. They love each other so much, and well, it's hard to see James flirt with other girls, because they love each other so much. It's tough not being able to talk to her because, you know, they love each other so much. Whenever I hear people talk like that, I always think they are trying to convince themselves more than the people around them. And if that wasn't enough, we also had to deal with baby talk and secret little sign language (crossed fingers that mean "I love you"). I hope somebody takes a tire iron and beats both of these shmoopies over the head with it.
It came time for Julie to announce the eviction, But First! we have to have the little speeches from the nominees. Thankfully they are very short, although Ashlea didn't even bother to get up out of her chair. Before she says the name, Julie reminds them that they have one minute to say goodbyes and then they must leave out of the front door. Oh, thanks Julie, we were really afraid that somebody was going to accidentally take the side door, get lost, and find themselves in lost in Burbank or Glendale.
Rounding out a pretty bad night, Julie fumbles a little bit with opening the name of the house guest out of the card. I don't know why they insist on this ceremony, because it is always difficult for the Chenbot, and it just saps her confidence on days like this. When our host finally gets a good glimpse at the name she announces that Kaysar...IS SAFE! Whoa Julie! After a tough night, you don't back down and go for the misdirection anyway! With the first elimination! That takes some guts.
Ashlea's interview is nothing spectacular, and actually quite forgettable. Julie gets her to cry when she shows her a tape of all the nice things Janelle had to say about her. Ashlea said she didn't know they were going to do that. I am not sure what Big Brother she has been watching, but haven't they had goodbye videos for a long time now? Maybe not everybody gets one, but it shouldn't blow you away. What's the next surprise CBS has, that a family member or close friend will show up when they are evicted? The most interesting part of the whole thing was at the beginning when Julie Chen asked Ashlea if her bags were heavy. I think I may have just been reflexively laughing at whatever she does, and it might last, well, until the finale.
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