Show Us What You Got Maggie - 
by J-Unit
When we caught our first glimpses of Big Brother 6, a lot of people were worried. We saw all of the beautiful people and lamented at how boring they would all be. We learned that each of the houseguests would have a partner going into the house and decided that it was the dumbest twist ever, made only worse when we learned that the whole thing was going to be wrapped into what the producers were calling "Summer of Secrets." Yes, my confidence wavered a little bit - until I remembered a few things. First, the house was full of humans, and whenever you get enough of us in one place, we make sure to destroy everything in sight. Second, I was still going to get a healthy dose of Julie Chen, and that is plenty to keep me happy for the summer.
This post is a special one for TVgasm. Notice the number. 1000! Well, technically, it's not 1000 because some entries were deleted and their numbers were just skipped, but I don't want to count. I have to say that I am very happy to be able to share the 1000th post with Julie Chen. Some people have e-mailed me to let me know that Julie Chen is on five days a week, if only I would watch the early show. And sure, if I wanted my time with Julie to be boring, I could take her in every day, but then Big Brother just wouldn't be the same, now would it?
It was the fourth week of our summer Chenwatch, and she seemed a little bit more composed that day, at least with her speech. Her wardrobe was a different matter. We opened up the show by zooming in on Julie, looking very crisp in a white pantsuit. We love Julie's pantsuits because she can do them in so many ways, and it's always our best chance for a little camel toe. Sadly, the camel toe did not make an appearance today, which makes it four weeks of live Julie without the knuckles coming out. It could be a record, but she did make up for it. I was thinking that there must be a plumbing problem in her house, because she had her pants tied up like she was ready for a flood. Maybe she was back from some humanitarian work in India. Who knows? The Chelmet was also out of sorts. She usually keeps those locks under control, but she had cowlicks flying everywhere today. The Chenbot maintenance team is going to be scolded for such oversights.
Hasn't this week been absolutely perfect? I think that it is fair to say that most of us in the gasmverse have a little bit of hatred for Eric, and you know, even I felt bad about making fun of him and accusing him of using steroids, beating his wife, and having small genitals. But then Eric opens his mouth, and I'm not sorry anymore. When talking about being nominated, Eric said it didn't surprise him in the least, and that his enemies weren't even worthy of his "eyesight" (or his hat, in James' case)! What the hell is that supposed to mean? Uh, Eric, about 90% of the population is saying the same for you.
And in case those type of comments didn't have me questioning Eric's sanity, he continued with a lot of other great observations. For instance, after the nominations, he didn't want to talk to anybody. OK, fine. Even though you told everybody all week it wasn't personal, but were clearly the person taking it as a personal insult more than anybody else, you are entitled to your space. But do you have to be such a dumbass? Sarah wanted to say something, perhaps to you, know, show some sportsmanship, but Eric wasn't having any of it. He told Sarah that she should just give him respect. Oh Eric, you meant like all of that respect you showed everybody in the house while you were HOH? Lead by example, captain.
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