We got out first interview with the houseguests, and lo and behold, Julie turns to the side and I see that the back of her dress is see-through mesh. which only makes me further confused about the dress. If it has a mesh back, why the wooly mammoth halter? Julie asks questions and begins with April, asking her how life in the house is without Jennifer. Well, I am sure it was much like the last 75 years that April has lived without Jennifer, so not that bad. Next we have a boring question to Maggie about the kitchen table. Was it surprising to see? Yes! Oh dear, how interesting.

I was surprised at the next question, because it said that there were some questions from internet readers. CBS gave viewers the ability to submit questions from their website, but didn't really promote it, most likely because they wanted to save themselves from having to delete all of the "Why do you have such a huge ass Maggie?" questions TVgasm readers would have submitted. The first question was to Ivette, and she was asked what celebrity she would want to play her in a movie. There is something in the water because Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz were mentioned. Ivette wisely said no and suggested Julie D'Amato from the Sopranos. Did she mean Drea DiMatteo? Jamie Lynn Discala? I guess I could see Jamie Lynn Discala, but let me suggest another Latin person to play Ivette that could more easily represent her size - George Lopez. I wish they asked April the casting question, I have always wondered if she would rather have Rue McLanahan or Bea Arthur as her body double. Next, Janelle was asked what she would do with a one-day vacation from Big Brother. Who in the hell came up with these questions? Please tell me that it was none of you.

It was then time for what had the potential to be the most awkward on screen interview ever. Julie Chen vs. Beau. The Robot vs. the Ho-bot, an EPIC battle. We knew that it was going to be so very uninteresting, and Beau was still trying to remember his subject and predicate, and then CBS through us the strangest interview angle EVAR. Usually, it is a shot of the houseguest, then a shot of Julie from the monitor. For some reason, the producers decided to do the houseguest shot from behind Julie, giving us an unusual view of Julie's statuesque posture. Why was this so very distracting? I think I need help.

Leaving Beau, hopefully never having to worry about hearing him speak again, we went on to talk about our man James. God, I hated him so much early on in the game, but now it seems like it was so long ago. Nowadays, everybody knows what kind of player James is. He is playing both sides, both teams know it, yet neither team wants to do anything about it. He was such a target, it is really amazing how he enabled himself to get even this far in the game. Forget about the winning, just getting to this point is huge. James doesn't see it that way, and he still carries around that stupid scar of Sarah's for good luck. Just how duplicitous is James? One minute, he is really ripping April, while Rachel is saying "she sucks royally", but on the other side, he is ripping Rachel, saying he is so happy they just realized her true nature, while listening to April talk about Rachel saying "She really is a conniving bitch". We then cut to Janelle discussing going all the way (to the end of the game, you perverts) with James, and she leaves, saying "I respect your honesty". Yes, you didn't lie about your job, your relationship, or that time you promised to nominate Howie and Rachel - on the Bible I might add.

Posted by J-Unit on August 26, 2005 1:41 AM