Anyway, since this was the first episode after April ascended to power, it meant we had the joy of watching the great unveiling of the HOH room. And yes, it was just as bad as we thought it would be. Actually, I take that back. The little personal artifacts weren't as cloying as my nightmares had suggested, but Beau was in rare form, squealing like an air raid siren every time anyone shoved an object in his face. Remind me to wear earmuffs next time he enters a new HOH room. April got the usual gifts from home including a picture of her husband and, of course, Pepperowwwwni. She also received a blue bathrobe which she donned as if it were some royal garb passed down from Charlemagne's court. But what really got her choked up was a small bracelet. We never really learned the significance behind this trinket, but it sent April into a tailspin of emotions, ultimately ending with her proclaiming, "MY HUSBAND!!! HE LOVES ME!!!" Just like America!

Howie meanwhile made inroads with his latest apology campaign by kissing Pepperoni's picture and telling the dog he was sorry about the pizza joke. Ah, but it wasn't sincere because moments later in the Diary Room, Howie happily sang, "B-U-S-T-O and Busto was her name-o." Ooh, nice one Howie! What's up with Howie being funny lately? Doesn't make sense.

Okay, back to game talk. The Official Grand Conclave of the Friendship met in the HOH room under the rule of the freshly bathrobe'd April. There was much to debate today. Ivette wanted Janelle out of the house. Maggie wanted James out of the house. And Beau wanted to say "fabulous" just for good measure. Ultimately, the momentum seemed to side with Maggie, and the group opted for a traditional backdoor plan for James. "Do NOT say anything to him!" commanded April to Ivette. Okay, how long until Ivette spills the beans? I give her t-minus two minutes.

In case anyone still doubted that April is an old lady...

Amazingly, however, Ivette kept mum (or at least as far as we could tell), and the next morning, Janelle and Howie came a callin' to Busto's room to find out what the latest plan was. Janey wanted April to put Ivette up as a pawn as well, simply because it would ensure that if she won the veto, she would use it. But April assured the two that if Ivette went back on her word, The Friendship would target her the next week. Suuuure. Kind of like how Jennifer said her alliance would totally understand if she nominated them as pawns to backdoor James. But then talk got around to the idea of putting both Ivette AND Beau up on the block as pawns, and after a good twenty minutes of self-control, I finally gave over to hope and let my heart skip a beat or two. After all, was it not Beau who had so proudly bragged that he was out of the spotlight? Might he finally be going up on the block??

Well, it was time for April to make her nominations, and this of course led to the typical "What should I do?" montage of the HOH sitting over the nomination thingy (memo to producers: please name that key box next year). "I like for people to like me," explained April from the Diary Room. But April, didn't you hear what Ivette said? America LOVES you!

Anyway, at the nomination ceremony, we quickly discovered that all that Beau/Ivette talk was merely just that: talk. Howie and Janelle were put up on the block, and the momentary euphoria I had felt just a few minutes earlier was quickly vanquished. THANKS CBS.

Howie and Janelle took their nominations fairly well, and they seemed to chest bump each other in support, but then I realized they had simply both overshot their hug, making for one hell of a collision (okay, it wasn't that big of a deal. But I like to harp.) James, meanwhile, noticed that something was up and immediately realized he was being backdoored (hope he lubed up!).

With the nominations now established, April and the rest of her alliance approached Ivette to make sure she was still on the same page. The Spicy Latina (who Everybody Loves, btw) seemed torn with the prospect of possibly using the veto, and a knot tightened in my stomach as I realized that this might all be building up to an Ivette victory.

At the Veto Competition, April picked Maggie, Janelle picked Ivette, and Howie picked Beau to participate. James, meanwhile, picked an awkward expression to hide his displeasure. Random observation: when James tries to cover his unhappiness with a fake mini-smile, he looks quite matronly, does he not?

Anyway, the competition was fairly basic but still fun. Each competitor was placed in a trough of mud, hidden in which were several keys. Hanging on one side of the trough were four giant vetos that needed to be unlocked and dropped in a slot on the other side of the trough. First person to get all his or her vetos in the slot would win. But wait, there's more! Of the four hanging vetos, one of them was silver. The first contestant to unlock his or her silver veto and drop it in the slot would win the combo to the second safe in the Gold Room. A multi-tiered veto competition! EXCITING! Well, exciting for most of us. Ivette wasn't so ecstatic: "Mud. I hate mud." And mud hates you. And by "mud," I mean "America."

Posted by B-side on August 31, 2005 4:08 AM