The light sabres would have to do, and I will admit that they have one great side effect, and that is that it REALLY pisses off the Friendship. As much as it is stupid that Howie plays around with light sabres and quite literally believes that he is a jedi, it's pretty harmless, no? I mean, these are folks that don't even have a deck of cards to keep them company, and invented a game throwing coasters into the middle of a coffee table in order to pass the time. He only got to be HOH for a couple of days, so how hard is it to simply let him screw around? After all, it's not like any of the Friendship does anything more than hang around the HOH room and complain about the others. They wonder why he acts so strange. Yes, it is so much more normal to do things like sleep in one bed with your two friends in the house spying on the rest of the house from a big plasma screen, all with the lights off just for the hell of it. I know what wouldn't be strange! How about we erect a shrine to all of our friends who have been evicted just so we never forget them. But to make sure, let's make sure to invoke their names at any chance we get just in case some people forget.

Howie shenanigans out of the way, it is now time for Ivette to do the difficult job of nominating people for eviction. As the number of houseguests gets smaller and smaller, the stupidity of this exercise increases ten fold. Nobody is sitting there for any extended amount of time believing that anybody besides Howie and Janelle are going up. And is it really necessary to have that entire box with them every time? Can't they make a smaller one, like they have the small tables?

With little suspense, Howie and Janelle are in fact nominated, and it gives Ivette a chance to speak her mind. She says she finds it funny that "if you speak the truth you are considered loud, if you stay quiet you're beating around the bush, and if you lie your are a snake." Uhh, where do I begin? I guess she thinks that she always speaks the truth and people consider her loud. The truth of the matter is that we think Ivette is loud not because she speaks the truth, but she has to scream everything at the top of her lungs. It doesn't matter if she is telling Howie that he had speedos in his HOH room or telling the whole lot that she won HOH; she is always yelling. Ivette would yell at a person who was deaf if she thought it would help them read her lips.

And what about the second part of that statement, that "if you are quiet you're beating around the bush." Can somebody please help me on that one? Why is it funny that people who stay put are considered beating around the bush? Isn't it more like the definition of beating around the bush? Same thing goes for the last statement. It's not funny to be called a snake for lying, in fact a lot of people are called snakes for lying.

Ivette doesn't stop there though. She patronizes Janelle a little bit by saying that she underestimated her skill, and then said it was "amazing what a woman can do to a man." As for Howie, he is condemned for picking the wrong team. These speeches had the Friendship practically peeing their pants in excitement. I wouldn't say that Ivette's speech was as dumb as Beau's speech, but it was pretty close, and there was Maggie right there to say just how wonderful it all was. Ivette said that she was upset that she forgot some of the things she wanted to say, but Maggie said that "at least you remembered to say that she manipulates men." I am sort of wondering about this outrage for a couple of reasons. First, I think anybody could have told you that Howie is so whipped, he would kiss a beautiful woman's ass if it meant he would have a better shot at her grandkids. And I'm sure that Janelle is well aware of her effect on men considering she works as a cocktail waitress. I think that's why I hate the Friendship, they suck at everything, including their insults of other people.

The veto competition was the return of one of my favorites, which was the head morphing game. Each person would go into the backyard separately where they would see a face that was composed of various portions of three different house guests. The players had to choose which three houseguests made up the conglomerate face before them. They would have six different combinations to choose from, and the person who got all of them correct within the shortest amount of time would win.

I've always loved this game, as it gives us some really ugly combinations. It's also fun to guess who is who. Some facial features are so easy to recognize, like Eric or Michael's chin, or Kaysar's eyes or hair. The outcome of this competition basically was going to decide if Janelle was going home or not. Ivette pretty much promised that Janelle was going home, and really wanted to keep her nominations intact. With so few people in the house, there was no way to backdoor Janelle against her will, so she would be free to compete and save herself.

Posted by J-Unit on September 7, 2005 3:00 AM