Sometimes They Come Back. - 
by copygodd
Tonight's episode starts off with the announcer telling us "So far the teams have lost a total of 483 pounds. But The Biggest Loser isn't just about losing weight. It's about changing lives." Lives like those of Andrea from Season One, who's lost a total of 67 pounds since last year, and who'll be making a very special appearance later tonight. That's great, but what happened to inspiring a nation? So far, tonight's episode is leaving me totally unchanged and uninspired.
Hopefully, inspiration awaits after the jump...
The Blue Team's in turmoil without Ryan, who was voted off last week. Well, half the team is. Because as Suzanne tells us, "Ryan was the glue between Suzy and Andrea. They needed her. For me, that was just a strategy. I take her out of the equation and now these two girls are like, 'uh oh, what do I do?'" Standing in the hallway, Suzanne tells Andrea and Suzy she feels really bad for what's happened. Suzy calls her out though, saying, "Okay, I know you're lying now." Now? You mean Suzanne's lied before? Say it isn't so! Andrea tells us Suzanne is doing everything she can to manipulate the situation. "Everything that comes out of that girl's mouth seems to be a lie," she says. Including telling everyone she's really a blond.
The teams head down to the gazebo for this week's Temptation Challenge. Hey, where's Caroline? I needs me some twin lovin'! Instead, Bob and Jillian are waiting for the teams in the gazebo. I like B&J, but putting them in charge of the temptation is like having George tell the wannabe apprentices that losing weight is a $500 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY. It just doesn't have that same je ne sais quoi. Bob revealed a silver platter that held a double cheeseburger, french fries, onion rings and a chocolate milkshake. The sight of the shake reminds Suzy of this one time, at fat camp, when she drank 48 milkshakes...
Unfortunately, today's temptation isn't so much a temptation as it is a pop quiz. The teams simply have to figure out how many calories are on the tray. See what happens when Caroline's not around? Each team has five minutes to produce an answer. Here's the catch: The losing team has to do one stair on the Stairmaster for however many calories they guess higher or lower than the actual number. Shannon is not happy. Shannon hates the Stairmaster. Why the hate, Shan? Stairmasters have feelings too, you know. The winners, meanwhile, get to visit Universal Studios for a day. I don't know about you, but when I think diet and exercise, I immediately think Universal Studios.
The teams are a little flummoxed, as they've only been taught to count calories in healthy food so far. Suzanne thinks it's somewhere between 4,000 and 5,000 calories, which her teammates think is a bit high. 5,000 calories? What does she think the cheeseburger's made of, lard? After a bit of bickering, the women end up listening to Suzanne and guessing 4,249 calories. The men average their guesses together and get 2,950. The correct answer? 2,834 calories. Which means the women have to climb 1,415 stairs. To make matters worse, it turns out Shannon had guessed 2800 calories. So if the women had listened to her and not Suzanne, they'd have won. But who's counting? Oh, that's right, they are...
Shannon tells us it's really pissing her off that the guys keep winning and winning and winning. You'd think they were a bunch of weight-losing Energizer Bunnies or something. At this point, things are definitely looking blue for "Bob's Booty Crew" (as the remaining members have dubbed themselves) as they begin the long climb to the top of the Stairmaster.
The guys, meanwhile, are having a blast at Universal Studios. And by guys, I mean Jillian. She keeps talking about all the rides she wants to go on, especially Jurassic Park, which Dr. Jeff is afraid of. "It's really important to do something that scares you every day," she tells us. I bet she gives her boyfriend that same line before giving him his own "personal" workout. "Jurassic Park was an excellent way for Dr. Jeff to conquer his fear of roller coasters." Well, except Jurassic Park is a water ride. Whatever. She also used the opportunity to teach the guys some “theme park eating survival tips," which as far as I can tell, involved sharing a Cinnamonster. I use the same tips when I visit the mall. Except for the sharing part. Sharing, much like sobriety, is so overrated.
You can climb, but you can't hide.
Back at the ranch, the girls are still climbing their 1,415 stairs. Since they're on somewhat of a losing streak, Bob decides to bring in Andrea (aka Dre) from Season One for inspiration. Dre delivers the usual "you gotta stick together" crap, then asks them why they wanted to make such a drastic change in their lives. Uhm, I realize I'm going out on a limb here, Dre, but maybe because they're fat? Just a guess.
Dre tells the girls the biggest prize she took home wasn't $250,000. Or even $100,000. (What she doesn't tell them is she didn't take home any money because she's a loser. But not the biggest loser.) "It was a better me." Aw, there's the inspiration I was looking for.
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