Bob meets with the Blue Team to cheer them up after another loss. Andrea feels a lot of pressure, and, in classic Zen fashion, Bob tells her to find strength in the pressure. He also tells her to pull his finger. Bob's funny that way.

Meanwhile, over at Team Stalin (you know, cuz they're Red), Seth tells us that ever since Mark lost 17 pounds last week, he's been a cardio animal. Mark's been working out an extra five hours a day. A day! I'm lucky to work out five extra hours a year. Hell, who am I kidding. I'm lucky to work out five hours a year, period. Jillian wishes Mark would lighten up a bit, telling us she's worried that if Mark keeps working out this much, he won't eat enough, which will slow down his metabolism and send his body into "Survival or Starvation" mode. I'm pulling for Survival mode, as we haven't seen nearly enough puking this season.

Time for this week's Temptation Challenge. If the contestants eat a piece of chocolate cake, they have a one-in-three shot at winning $2,300. Suzi describes the cake: "It wasn't a normal piece of cake. It was like four slices of cake in one. It was huge." This is especially impressive coming from a girl who drank 48 milkshake shots a few weeks back. Dr. Jeff is thinking about eating the cake. "I looked at the Blue Team, and it didn't look like any of them were going to bite. No pun intended." None taken, my dear doctor. None taken. However, since nobody on either team was biting (pun definitely intended), the producers slipped a note under the door. Pete tells the group it's another limerick, which, of course, it isn't. (I know this because there was no mention of a "man from Nantucket.") The producers make the challenge even easier, telling the contestants they now have a one-in-two shot at winning the prize. All they have to do is eat the damn cake! Mark fingers the icing, but that's as close as we get to any guy-on-cake action. Too bad too, as it turns out the prize also included a stationary bike hooked up to a video screen for a virtual exercise experience. No fair! I just ate a piece of chocolate cake and all I got was gas.

Later, Mark is getting chatty with Jen in the workout room. Of course, Jen isn't supposed to be talking to anyone on the Red Team, as the women look at fraternization as a sign of disloyalty. Meow! Still brimming with confidence from his 17-pound loss, Mark tells Jen he'll beat the Blue Team this week by himself. Will those words come back to bite him in his rapidly-shrinking-but-still-quite-substantial ass? Enquiring minds want to know. Afterward, they made the beast with two backs.

You will believe a large man can fly.

Bob tells his team the next challenge is going to be uphill and strenuous. Although not necessarily in that order. To prepare, he tells them to put on their nastiest shoes and meet him outside. Unfortunately, Suzi misunderstands Bob's request, and shows up wearing this. Awkward! Especially since Bob is wearing the same pair. As Bob is also the president of his local Kate Bush fan club, he sends his team running up that hill.

Not to be outdone, Jillian tells her team they're taking "a little hike." Of course, this is the same Jillian who refers to the Trail of Tears as "a walk around the block," so the team knows they're in trouble. "Look, there's buzzards waiting for us," she tells the guys in a misguided attempt at motivation. "And there's a hearse waiting at the bottom for your fat asses." Man, she really needs to work on her people skills. Dr. Jeff says he can make it, as long as Jillian can get him back down with most of his skin still attached. Seth tells us they had to go straight up the hill, but there's no trail when you go straight up. So that's why it's so hard to get into heaven. Everyone makes it to the top, even Dr. Jeff, although Jillian did have to push him. Literally. With both hands. On his butt. When it comes to the last rock, Dr. Jeff says he can't make it because the surgeon who reconstructed his ankle accidently replaced it with a vagina. Jillian gives him a final boost, and the team relaxes on top of the hill. As Matt tells us, "In life, you're always climbing a mountain." Except, you know, when you're heading back down.

Time for this week's Challenge. Caroline meets the teams at Universal Studios. But where are the twins? Suzi says they have no idea what to expect, but they see a lot stairs and escalators. Which go uphill and can be quite strenuous. Maybe that's a hint?

Posted by copygodd on October 19, 2005 11:07 AM