Up next is The Biggest Loser's version of Survivor: Pearl Island's Rupert: Matt. Or, as I like to call him, Super-Biggie-Sized Rupert. Amazingly, Matt doesn't lose any weight. Zero. Zip. Nada. He's so upset, he won't even slap hands with his teammates. Instead, he puts on his clothes and walks out. Holy crap! Is Matt quitting? Don't go Matt, I take back the Rupert joke. Matt!

After the break, we see Matt is still standing outside. And it looks like he's peeing. I hope he doesn't offer to slap hands with anyone now. Everyone on both teams feels bad for the guy, which is odd, as nobody felt bad for Jen when she put up a goose-egg a few weeks back. Whatever. Eventually, Matt comes back in, and sure enough, nobody offers to touch his hands. Caroline asks him how he's feeling, and he's so verklempt he can't answer. Thank goodness Mark is there, who uses his SFPD Perp Walk experience to position the Red Team around Matt to protect him from the cameras so he can cry in peace. Unfortunately for Matt, this season the show's producers sprang for a VISA Skycam, and we get to watch him cry from high above. Oh, and from behind too, when the MasterCard "Priceless" Backcam kicked in. I just hope Diners Club doesn't have a Cam. I'd hate to see where they have that thing set up.

Back to the weighing. Dr. Jeff loses 11 pounds, and Pete loses 13. Guys win! Not counting Seth's ten pound loss, the guys end up losing 28 pounds, or 2.29% of their total weight.

Since Suzi is this week's biggest loser (with just five pounds!), she's exempt from elimination. As always, Caroline tells them they have until tomorrow night to decide who's weighing them down. The Blue Team walks out of the gym in slo-mo as the guys give another "Go Red Team" cheer. Later, we find out this really upset Suzi: "Do these guys even have a glimpse of what we're going through right now? They're cheering and yelling and we pretty much have to go to a funeral. Three weeks in a row. Like, simmer down, you know?" And somewhere in a McDonald's Drive-Thru window, Cheri Oteri feels a sharp jab in her side.

Bob is crushed to learn his team lost. Again. He feels a real sense of failure, that somehow he's failed his girls. Which, when you consider he's in charge of their workouts and diet, he has. Andrea says if it were any other week, she'd feel better about the loss. Isn't that pretty much the same thing she said when they lost last week? How quickly they forget. Speaking of which, Bob says he can't remember the last time he's felt this bad. Uhm, last week maybe?

Jillian asks Matt if he wants to talk about his zero. Since she knows he's been working out extra hard with Mark, she asks him about his diet over the past week. Matt admits "a couple of nights, at around 2 or 3 in the morning, I'd wake up, starving hungry, and I'd go make breakfast." This makes Jillian angry mad. If only she'd taught her team how to make the Pudding in a Cloud! Matt promises to do whatever Jillian tells him next week. No more, no less. Hopefully, she'll tell him to wash his hair and stop wearing that stupid ski cap all the time.

Meanwhile, Andrea and Suzi are talking about who to vote off. Of course, Andrea thinks Jen should go, because she's "easing back into her friendship with the other team." That bitch! Oh, and if Jen doesn't get voted off, Andrea will be. Yeah, there is that.

Mark tries to reassure Jen, telling her if the Blue Team eliminates her, they'll lose for sure. Jen is upset, saying "Andrea had this great challenge day, and I haven't had anything like that." Well, other than that time you won all the money in Vegas and Andrea didn't win anything. But still, I totally feel your pain.

At the Elimination Ceremony, Andrea votes for Jen, who makes a face (yes!) before returning the favor and voting for Andrea. Suzi votes for Jen, which means it's all up to Shannon. If she votes for Andrea, it's a tie and the men get to decide who leaves. Again. If she votes for Jen, she sends her friend packing. Shannon talks about how much she loves Jen, then promptly votes her out. Jen tells the team it's okay. "It was your decision as a group," she says. "I felt it all day. Sorry I didn't spend the afternoon with you guys, but I spent it with some people I thought would most appreciate my time." Snap! Turns out Jen is just more comfortable with the men. "I want everyone to know they're (the men) not out to get you," she says. "If you could just give them a chance, they're not that bad." Except for Dr. Jeff, of course, who has a vagina for an ankle. That's pretty bad.

Jen shows the group her mad face.

Once again, Caroline tells the women she doesn't want to see them in the Elimination Ceremony next week. Why does Caroline hate men? Suzi tells her "if it's womanly possible" they're going to win. And if it's manly possible, I'll be here to recap it.

Finally, in our Diet Rite look at Jen, we learn she's lost 72 pounds since first coming to the ranch. And, apparently, both of her bosoms.

Posted by copygodd on October 19, 2005 11:07 AM