Later, Mark and Shannon are seen outside trying to talk out their differences. Mark wants to know what he can do to make Shannon feel comfortable around the house. Shannon's answer? The perfect cheer. Too bad Mark's saving it for someone else.

The teams meet Caroline in the Elimination Chamber. Caroline starts to talk about this being a numbers game, pointing out that, according to the Scale-O-Tronic 4025's numbers, Pete and Shannon are their team's biggest losers. Meanwhile, according to public opinion numbers, Nick is still humanity's biggest loser. She also tells them that as of now their teams are gone. Wha wha wha?! Later today, the contestants will be divided into four teams, three male/female and one male/male. Each team will still compete in challenges, just like before, but at the Weigh-In, the team with the lowest percentage of weight lost will be up for elimination. The remaining players will get to vote out one member of the losing team. The surviving team member will then have to perform Cartman's rendition of I'm a Little Teapot whilst wearing a beard of pubes: "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout. Oink, oink, oink. Oink, oink, oink."

Obviously, people are upset. But perhaps none more than SFPD's finest, Mark. "It kind of floors me. I don't like anybody on the girl's team," he says, displaying a wit unworthy of Dusty Harry. "I deal with dirtbags at work, but I don't feel like dealing with them here. You tell me I'm gonna be pairing up with one of them, and it makes me sick." Thanks Mark. I'm sure Suzi, Andrea and Shannon appreciate being compared to San Fran dirtbags like The Zodiac Killer and Michael Savage. At this, Suzi cries (no surprise), while Andrea and Shannon express their disgust with Mark. Caroline tells 'em all to suck it up. "I'm stuck in a fat ranch with all you dirtbags, and you don't see me or the twins crying, do you? Bitches."

Temptation Challenge time. The winner of today's challenge will get to pick the new teams, which could be huge. To participate, the players have to choose a silver platter, only one of which has the winning card. The losers have to eat whatever's inside their platter. Everyone decides the chance to pick the teams is too important to pass up, except Shannon and Dr. Jeff. Shannon is afraid having the power to pick the teams will only make the bad blood between her and the guys worse. Dr. Jeff, meanwhile, passes because he told his wife he'd never participate in a Temptation Challenge. I can't wait to see what happens when they tempt him with hookers and gin. Pete ends up winning, meaning the rest of the players have to eat whatever's under their lid. Suzi gets Twinkies, then complains she doesn't like Twinkies. Not like Twinkies?! COMMUNIST!!

Before making his decision, Pete asks the group for their input on the new teams. Matt and Seth both say they want to be on the same team, which pretty much guarantees they won't be. Haven't they ever heard of reverse psychology? Dr. Jeff doesn't care. Shannon is upset the guys don't respect the girls as a team, and as people. Hey Shannon, maybe they'd respect you more if you ever won. Just a thought. Suzi squeeks that she wants someone who will "push me." With any luck, off a bridge. Mark says he'll take Suzi. Evidently, he already has the perfect bridge in mind. I hope he has the perfect cheer to commemorate the occasion.

Pete takes a walk and talks to himself a lot while deciding the teams. Channeling his inner Peter Parker, he tells us with great power comes great responsibility. Not to mention a shot at Mary Jane. Hubba hubba! Suzi and Andrea, meanwhile, are upstairs trying to convince Shannon the reshuffle will be good for the women. Which shouldn't be too hard a sell, because as a team, they kinda suck.

Pete decides the new teams will be Matt and Shannon (Team: Beauty and the Beast), Andrea and Mark (Team: Dirtball), and Suzi and Seth (Team: Who Gives a Shit?). This means Pete is teaming himself with Dr. Jeff, who's totally blown away that Pete picked him. "Despite all my physical limitations, my age, my lowest percentage of weight loss among the guys, Pete still has faith in me." Yeah, Pete's gullible that way. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he still believes politicians really want to help people.

Caroline tells the new teams to take an opportunity to get to know each other. Matt tells Shannon not to be offended if he doesn't talk to her. "I feel if you can talk, you need to be working harder." Guess this explains Matt's aversion to dirty talk during sex. Although he did ask Shannon if she was wearing the panties her mother laid out for her.

Posted by copygodd on October 27, 2005 2:55 PM