... Champions are made! Welcome to the finals of Dancing with the Stars! I'm bBitz and I'm back from an extended stay with my friend "Mono"! Good times kids - nothing like gargling salt water and popping antibiotics like Pez on your BIRTHDAY. Anyways - sorry to miss last week - but let's end it with a bang!

Tom and Useless Samantha come on out and kick off the show. Meanwhile the camera zooms by the sidelines and we see all the previously axed contenders from this season. It's a sad lil' line-up of celebrities spending their 15th minute.

Posted by bBitz at 5:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ladies and Gentlemen... Dancing with the Stars celebrates it's 100th epidsode!!! Let the trumpets sound! Let the crowds cheer! Poets will speak of this day in years to come... or just Paula Abdul - who says "Happy 100th Episode, Dancing with the Stars (awkward pause) - the most amazing show---" And they cut her off!!! HAHAHAHA! What fucking retarded thing must she have said?! GOD I wish THAT walking pill dumpster was on this show!

Posted by bBitz at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

This week on Dancing with the Stars we recover from last weeks high drama (injuries and prom queens gone mad!!) - and jump right into ballroom! And this week dancers are allowed ONE LIFT! Ladies and Gentlemen - prepare yourselves for bloodshed!

I love ballroom night! Everyone's all dressed up - with careers that have no place to go. And just look at this line up! Asian, White, Black, Latino - it's like a dancing United Colors of Benetton ad! Apparently it's true - white men cannot dance. Well - especially if they're as fat and/or retarded as this year's selection was.

Posted by bBitz at 8:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's elimination time on Dancing with the Stars! Time to find out who gets the cut, if Cristian will soldier on and if, after all of these years, Def Leopard will still be able to pour the sugar on me. Ick.

Chubbers kicked skinny ass last night - that girl has gone from 6's to 9's. Put them together and whaddya got?! BUUHHHH....

Posted by bBitz at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

This week on Dancing with the Stars - it's double the dances, double the drama and double the ass!

Tom and Useless Samantha welcome us to a night of thrills, spills and...

Posted by bBitz at 9:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

It's elimination time on Dancing with the Stars! And nothing makes me think of elimination more than our special guest - Ashlee Simpson!

Tom and Useless Samantha review the dancing from the night before - including the wild west cluster-fuck. Last night's clear stand-out was Marissa, aka CHUBBERS! Cristian also did a great job, raking in the high scores and comments "Wow - this is how Kristi must feel EVERY WEEK!" The claws are out! WOO WOO!

Posted by bBitz at 3:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

In this episode of Dancing with the Stars - we mourn the loss of Pri-Pri with a wild west cowboy number! Makes sense to me!

Our seven couples enter the stage and everyone looks great. Fancy outfits! Some are are wearing vests, bowties and classy gowns... and Marlee's wearing tiger print. Someone's out for blood and is dressing the part. Rowr!

Posted by bBitz at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's elimination time on Dancing with the Stars! It's going to be a fantastic show - James Blunt is performing! You can't see but I just threw my panties at the TV.

Kristi and Jason kicked ass last night. Bruno called Jason a "love God" - so clearly the judges weren't holding any feelings back. It's cute to watch Bruno and Edyta fight for his attention. And Chubbers was dropping it like she was hot! Like a hot tamale! And I'm not just saying that cause she's filled with meat and cheese.

Posted by bBitz at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This week on Dancing with the Stars - we mourn the loss of the Adam "Bear on a Cycle" Carolla and things heat up with Latin night! Sambas and Rumbas - Oye oye!

I'm so excited! Latin night! Fast, passionate dancing filled with the promise of spills and thrills! And we're already down to just 8 contestants! Our good host, Tom Bergeron, informs us that we've reached our half way point from the original 12. Not really sure how that math works - but I'm guessing that introducing 4 years of whiffle-ball-bat-smacking-nuts videos turns a man's brain to mush. Aaaand speaking of mush for brains, Useless Samantha is looking lovely this evening.

Posted by bBitz at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's elimination time on Dancing with the Stars! Also known as the beginning of someone's journey to "Celebrity Rehab"!

We jump right into the night's special guest - Sheryl Crow! And THANK YOU Sheryl for being the first guest on this show NOT to have butchered your face! She looks beautiful and she actually has distinguishable features. WELL DONE. Hoooooowever... her singing is... blaaahhh. It's pitchy dawg!

Posted by bBitz at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)